Welcome to yet another edition of the Phat Daily Column. Yes, there was no Monday column, as I went through a little burn out over the weekend. Thank the pile of homework that my professors decided to give on the first week of the Spring Quarter. They are so nice....
"Shooter" Shawn Valloric, who wrote a great piece on Chris Jericho in the weekend edition of the PDC told me that he received a fairly large amount of positive feedback regarding his column. Hey, what can we say, many love Jericho and by Shawn's column, you can CLEARLY see where the WWF undermined Jericho as a champ, thereby making it THEIR fault that Jericho's title run and position as top heel a "failure". And now, Jericho will have to enjoy midcard hell on Smackdown thanks to the WWF's, not Jericho's, ignorance.
Oh, and another thing. I just want to tell many of the IDIOTS who keep claiming that ALL Forceable Entry CD's have the Kane theme on it to shut the hell up, please. How about I just send you all plane tickets to come to my house, look at my CD case, listen to the CD, and afterward, I'll shove the CD straight up your Candy-ass. Ok, that was a silly Rock moment, but the point is, THE KANE THEME IS NOT ON MY FORCEABLE ENTRY CD!!!!! How many times do I have to state that? Should I scan my CD case? Should I rig the whole CD into a gigantic mp3 to prove that it's NOT a hidden track? Must I burn a copy of my CD and send it to everyone?
I swear, many of the feedback I get just nags me, over and over and over again. If I would have made a mistake about the Kane track, wouldn't I have cleared it up in the Thursday, Friday, or even the Weekend edition of the PDC? Why yes, I would. I have made mistakes in the past, and I usually use this introduction to clear those up.
By Clicking Here, you'll see the exact CD I have. No Kane song, right? No information about a bonus hidden track, eh? Right? Exactly. So how about them apples?
Now that I'm fired up, it's time to butcher up RAW. On to the PDC.
RAW started out with an extremely hot opener! Possibly one of the best RAW openers ever, although I'd probably say Jericho vs. Triple H for the World Title was the best ever. Rob Van Dam beat Booker T in a nice 10 minute plus match up, to which I also say, it's about damn time on RAW. Nice to give the midcarders a chance to shine for a change, although Booker T and RVD are upper division midcarders. Both wrestlers looked great, and the crowd was heavily into it. Rob Van Dam won the great match, thereby pushing him greatly and pushing the IC title as well. See, the Intercontinental title is in good hands now, instead of the crap witnessed by Regal. More on that later.
Then, a familiar face showed up. Eddy Guerrero ran in and beat the crap out of RVD, later hitting his version of the Froggy splash. AWESOME!!! Frog Splash vs. Frog Splash. How easy is that to set up? Very. If done right, this could be one hot feud of the summer. Eddy looks great, too, as he's built some muscle from the weight he gained during his last WWF run and he's back to the old shaved-sides mullet look. Classic Eddy. Let's hope that the injuries, drugs, and DUIs stay out of his life this time around because given the chance, he could still be a major player in the WWF. The WWF realized that, which is why they eventually signed him back and it's why Brian Christopher (or Grandmaster Sex-ay) is taking longer to come back.
I should have turned off the TV here. Why I didn't, well, I figured since RAW had a hot opener, the rest of the show would be great. However, all of the expectations of a weaker roster than Smackdown came true...
Immediately after Guerrero ambushed RVD, Vince McMahon appeared and said he was here to sign Steve Austin. Yadda Yadda Yadda, as Vince just wanted a small piece of the spotlight on RAW. I bet he'll make many frequent trips to the other side... Ric Flair would confront Vince, and later send the Big Slow out to take Vince out of the ring. Oh man, this just reminded me that the Big Slow will probably get a push in the Flair division, despite being overweight, lazy, and not a dedicated worker to improve. Oh, and I can't wait for the Nash vs. Big Show matches, whenever those start.
Next match was William Regal vs. Spike Dudley. Dead crowd for this one, especially for Spike. Oh yeah, this was yet another "non title" match for Regal. Wow. Regal is stinking up another singles title. Absolutely horrible match here, with nobody really caring that Spike got a fluke win. Actually, Regal has been a horrible wrestler lately, so it's really not a fluke. Well, Spike is a Heat wrestler, as compared to what he was in the summer of 2001 where he was main eventing.... Spike would win after some goofiness over brass knuckles between Regal and referee Nick Patrick. Is Patrick a face referee now? That's a first.
It's amazing how the APA office can move from Smackdown to RAW and STILL be trashed. Where is quality control when you need it? The New World Order would take it over, yawn, and later, Bradshaw would try to fight the 3 NWO members.
When the WWF did the split, did they also hire back Vince Russo as a writer? Trish Stratus and Terri would confront each other over the Divas magazine, and Ric Flair would then join the argument. Joy. Flair would then set up a match, a bikini match, with a paddle on the pole declaring the winner. It's funny to see how a credible man in wrestling, such as Flair, trying to act serious in setting up this match.
Oh yeah, the HARDCORE division will serve as an equal to the CRUISERWEIGHT division. Whatever. Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Raven was your typical crappy WWF style hardcore match that led me to wonder: did these guys really come from ECW? Were these the same guys who LOVED to bleed on a regular basis, and didn't care what weapons were used on them or what they would land on? Pathetic. Usual fire extinguisher, trash cans, and steel steps match by the WWF. Such originality. Bubba won the match, but who cares? Like this title means anything, especially since the champion, Raven, lost it in his first defense.
Next, we have Ric Flair trying to present the NEW Undisputed World Title to Triple H. I sort of like the title in that it somewhat resembles the old WWF world title in a futuristic way, but it appears to be too small to be a world title. Oh well, at least they won't have the Undisputed champions carrying around 2 15-pound belts (or 10 pounds at most). The Undertaker would confront Flair in his shining moment, and rip on Triple H because the Game has never beat the Undertaker, or at least he claims. I really enjoyed how the Undertaker put an end to the "What" chants by saying something in the nature of "if you say what, then you make love to your sister", or something weird like that. The Undertaker has been great ever since his feud with Ric Flair started. Triple H would come out to respond, and we'd eventually get a Backlash match set up between Undertaker and Triple H for the undiputed title. Wow, let's hope that Triple H can bump and sell like he did at Wrestlemania 17, or this could be embarrassing.
And if the show couldn't get any worse... The team of Mr. Perfect/Big Bossman took on the Hardy Boyz. I thought the purpose of the split, or at least one of them, was to create new stars? This match totally sucked, thanks to the 1980's duo stinking up everything again. Why even bother with Bossman and Perfect? They are horrible in this modern age. The nostalgia of them still wrestling in the WWF after many years away from the company is long gone. The Hardys would win it, THANK GOD, and then get squashed by Brock Lesnar. As much as I've backed the Hardys throughout the years, I've sort of given up on them lately. The WWF seems not to care about them anymore, so why waste typing material on why they keep getting screwed, week in and week out. I'd rather see some new blood make it big in the WWF, so kill them Lesnar! Of course, I am still bitter about former WCW SUPERSTAR Diamond Dallas Page being on the receiving end at Smackdown, despite being a major name outside of the WWF a few years ago.
The Bikini and Paddle on a Pole match between Trish Stratus and Terri was next. In salute to the Wrestle Palooza guys, why didn't they do a Judy Bagwell on a Forklift match instead?!? I'll tell you what, Trish looked like a million dollars tonight, and she wasn't the one wearing the thong! Trish just looked insanely hot tonight, insomuch that I can't resist typing this right now. Vince Russo stuff everywhere in this match!
Our final match, but not the final segment, was X-Pac vs. Kane. HOLY SHIT! We're watching WCW NITRO! NWO RUN IN!!! NWO RUN IN!!! LOOK OUT!!!! Gee, isn't it just so funny how all of the NWO matches seem to end? Looks like someone is getting protected backstage. That, or the ghost of Eric Bischoff is lurking... After everyone started pounding on Kane, Bradshaw would run down, thereby giving us a RATINGS GRABBER of Kane/Bradshaw versus the nWo. SMELL THE RATINGS!!! I should just watch Smackdown, exclusively, instead of torturing myself with these lame wrestlers.
The final segment was for the signing of Stone Cold Steve Austin to either RAW or Smackdown. The segment got very stupid with all of the sayings to get "What" chants. If you're going to treat Austin's signing as a big deal, add a professional touch to it. Keep the lame comedy out of it, please. Austin would pull an April Fool's joke on Vince, by saying he'd join Smackdown and then giving Vince the Stunner. I liked that. Flair would get cocky for getting Austin, have a few beers, and receive a Stunner, too. Hmmm... Vince would get back up, receive another Stunner, and the show ended. Austin would sign the Flair contract, so he's going to be on RAW. Thank God. This show could cetainly need someone good on it, instead of the land of the big men and 1980's style wrestlers.
LAST WORD: Good lord! The Booker T vs. Rob Van Dam match was excellent, but the surrounding show, especially the matches, were absolute crap. It clearly shows you which show and roster was meant to be better. That, or Vince McMahon has gone stupid in this day and age. I'd say both. I'll give this show a
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@You know, I really do like the Split idea, and I'm all for making it a success. But RAW is CLEARLY weaker than Smackdown, as it's workers have a bunch of tall farts, burnt out ECW wrestlers, stale WWF wrestlers, and only a few bright spots. It was so evident tonight. Anyway, I'll be back, tomorrow, with some RAW backlash and whatever else comes to mind.
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.