Welcome to the always fun WRATH OF TITO, the evil world of Mr. Tito. Today, we have several issues to discuss and then I'll be reviewing RAW, which I'll be doing LIVE AS IT HAPPENS. My school schedule is beginning to get hectic, so going weekly was a great decision. It's somewhat fun to write again since I no longer have the pressure to write daily.
Ok, I caved in. Walking by it everyday, I was tempted into buying Vince McMahon: Sex, Lies, and Headlocks, the book about Vince McMahon. I'm more than halfway through it through reading it at any chance I could, such as before a class, between classes, and hell, even on the shitter! It's a very interesting read, thus far, and once I'm done, I'll be posting a special Wrath of Tito in honor of its review. Reviewing wrestling books are some of my more favorite columns to write.
I like reading the ones done by the wrestlers themselves or professional writers. I wish I could say the same about the internet patrons, in which I've reviewed their books without a simple "thank you" from them. Whether it was "Tributes" by Dave Meltzer, "The Buzz on Professional Wrestling" by Scott Keith, or the WCW coffee table book by Dave Scherer and Bob Ryder, it was just sad that none of them could even thank me in the e-mails I sent to them about my book reviews or even the fact that I'd provide a link to a place to buy their books after I reviewed them. Don't have to worry about that with wrestlers or pro writers.
If I ever wrote a book, I'd be quick to thank that person for taking the time out of their busy lives and reading my work.
As for SMACKDOWN... I did NOT like that show, whatsoever. Although I got a cheap laugh out of Eric Bischoff appearing, I thought the homosexual wedding was a total bomb and it won't do anything for the interest of the fans, in the long run. I have a feeling that each rosters will invade each other, showing the WWE's last straw in hopes of getting the fans to care again. You know, losing nearly half of your prime audience is rather frightening. Matt Hardy vs. the Undertaker was a total joke of a main event, and even having the Undertaker in the main event in 2002 is a big joke in the first place. Oh yeah, Matt Hardy too. The fun that was with having no Undertaker or Triple H on Smackdown is something of the past now, and the WWE, as a whole, has gone from SUCK to BLOW. Pushing idiotic angles such as HOT LESBIAN ACTION or homosexual weddings will continue the route down the toilet. The show gets a D+ in my gradebook, and that's generous.
By the way, thanks to everyone who sent in some information on how to get the Unamericans theme. In this process, I found a goldmine for themes, in which I stockpiled my theme collection with many rare or wanted themes. The theme I really loved was the "Night of the Champions" theme from the last Monday Nitro. I downloaded that for the hell of it, and man, I really love hearing it over and over. It's well composed and relaxing. Note one thing, though, that I won't be listing where to find the "goldmine" here nor will I be telling anyone through e-mail about where to find the theme place. Those damn WWE watchdogs are looking to shut down any site that has their material, although I'm for the argument that having internet multimedia enhances a fan's experience over wrestling.
I'm convinced... Every week, we hear reports on how Steve Austin is keeping himself in shape, yet not contacting the WWE personally. Why? I have a feeling he knows that the WWE is in bad trouble without him, and that as the ratings and business continue to decline, they'll come to him, begging, for an attempt to come back. They probably will, too, and why not give him a chance to be involved with creative matters? It's either put up or shut up, and if he sucks as a creative mind, just send him home. The WWE would have nothing to lose, as they are declining anyway.
I laugh at the possibility of the Road Dogg and X-Pac or Syxxpac being on NWA-TNA. It only shows that the individuals running that company have no grasp on how to run a successful wrestling company. Well, they partially do... Pushing the X division is a great move and it's the only thing about that federation getting raves. But having several former WWE stars, ones who were fired for being hard to work with backstage or for substance abuse, won't improve your shows. Especially Scott Hall, the Road Dogg, and Syxxpac. Oh, what are we going to do? Have Clique or DX reunions? SMELL THE BUYRATES!
Couple other things here... I looked into buying a mailbox at Mailboxes Etc. in order to receive backyard videos from feds to review. The cost is $30 up front and $10 per month to keep the box open. Now, whether I'll have time to review what could be a crapload of videos, well, that's hard to say, but I've looked into the possibility and I'll give anyone who is interested, further details.
Speaking of backyard wrestling, I'd like to give a shout out to the Mooligan, who just recently retired after several great years of entertaining wrestling in the backyards. Good luck to him in the future.
On to the WRATH OF TITO!
The show started off with Eric Bischoff in the spotlight, laughing about his appearance on Smackdown. He's the man. One of the few bright spots on RAW these days... Rico is now on RAW, and will get lost in the fold because RAW has so much lackluster talent to fill the show. He's a Cruiserweight, but he won't be much here. Rico will get to fight Ric Flair tonight. Bischoff announces that Triple H and RVD will defend their titles, meaning that RVD will probably lose his title in order to make it appear that he has a chance to win the World RAW title at Unforgiven, which looks to be a very weak Pay Per View right now.
*sets Channel Return to ABC for Monday Night Football*
Oh no, Triple H is coming out. Want some a good reason for why ratings won't ever improve? There it is. It wouldn't put it past me that He was the one who suggested that he should become a new World Champion out of no where. It's probably been his dream to hold that old WCW belt. Boring as usual, and the crowd isn't popping that much. Triple H taunts the crowd so that they'll actually yell at him now. What a loser. Triple H, take my time machine and go get yourself from 2000 to entertain us again. Rob Van Dam comes down, as if he can talk any better. RVD talks like a porno actor. As boring as this interview is, it doesn't make me want to see their match at Unforgiven. "You can spit some water"??? And they said Dan from Tough Enough 2 has some bad mic skills, in comparison to RVD. Triple H was probably shooting on RVD by saying he wasn't "championship material" or putting him in his place. Oh man, what a trainwreck!
Should I just commentate on Monday Night Football, instead? I should. Here we go... Philadelphia has the ball, and it's 2nd and 5 with 9:00 remaining in the 1st quarter. Pass to James Thrash, but David Terrell had a nice hit. Trash better score a TD here or I'll lose a fantasy football game. 3rd down now... McNabb runs in for a Touch Down! There's another fantasy football game I just lost! Damn you! David Akers on for the extra point, and it's good! DEVASTATING!!! Commercial break, so we go back to RAW. 7-0, Eagles.
Back to RAW, and damn it, the commercial is still running. Oh no, there are some women outside of RAW, a total work of course, protesting the HOT LESBIAN ACTION of last week. I hate when Vince McMahon takes his real life conflicts and involves them in the storylines.
Whooo! Ric Flair vs. Rico is our first match. Rico and Flair look very similiar in builds. Is that what Rico will look like in 15 years? Odd back and forth match, but Rico pulled a win out on Ric Flair here?!? What?!? I really hope this is an early sign of a push for Rico and NOT the continous downward spiral of Ric Flair, who did beat Chris Jericho at Summerslam, BY THE WAY.
Booker T is backstage with Terri, and he'll be fighting Test later on. Maybe Goldust could dress up like Test and call himself "Quiz".
QUIZ!!!!!!!! Test comes out to his horrible ring music. I wonder who in the WWE mixed that theme? They mentioned Bradshaw's injury, and Booker T came out for his match against his former tag team partner. Fans only seem to react to anything that's trademarked by Booker T. Match seems to have too many pauses and some sloppy transistions. Booker T wins with a roll up, and Test tries to be amazed that he lost. TAKE ACTING LESSONS!
Triple H is backstage with Ric Flair, making sure that he is above Ric Flair and to downgrade any hope of Rico doing well on this show. Boy, that went no where. Looks like Triple H has himself his opponent, and maybe now, they'll get to have a longer match than before.
IOW? Who would name their organization with those 3 letters? Only an idiot would call themselves "IOW", and I don't mean the women's organization.
Ah yes, the great Unamerican's theme song. Edge/Christian will take on Spike and Bubba. Bring back D'Von, for the love of God! I love how the WWE just throws out a title defense without any mention or hype. Hell, the Dudleys aren't even feuding with the Unamericans right now. I'm trying so hard to care for this match... It's getting better here towards the end, as the crowd's hunger for tables is getting them to react to everything. It's better now, and we get another roll up victory. I guess the writers love the roll up tonight, just as they love to roll up some joints to smoke them before writing this show.
Chris Jericho is the Intercontinental Title contender. That makes sense and should be a good match. Bischoff wants the women's group to come in, probably to suffer for 3 minutes. Is the WWE trying to get off TNN/Viacom or what?
What is this, Triple H-in-every-segment night? It looks it.
Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam is next. Man, TNN is whoring CSI all over the place tonight. Like anybody is going to watch that show at 11 pm at night. Jericho is very underappreciated by the WWE anymore. That's too bad! The crowd is just totally shot for tonight's RAW, or at least they appear that way on my television. It just seems that the wrestlers are out of energy tonight, and maybe the crowd notices that? Hey, look who is involving himself with yet another segment... It's Triple H. Jericho won, and it was nearly a rip off of the Rock tapping out to the crossface while Brock was there. Such originality... Getting the IC title off of RVD won't make a difference, as Triple H won't allow himself to lose to RVD, a wrestler made famous in ECW, this Sunday.
Jericho and Bischoff backstage... Ric Flair wrestling for the Intercontinental title?
The WWE needs to do more with Jeff Hardy than to give him a highlight video featuring some good music by Our Lady Peace. He's beyond caring anymore because the WWE jobbed him out to many, many wrestlers, whether it was in tag action or singles. The had an opportunity to create a new star when he pulled out the fluke win over Triple H last year, but they blew it. His feuds with the Undertaker did NOTHING for him. It's "not enough" for him to get embarrassed every week on television and it won't ever get him to the top.
Kane vs. William Regal is next. Total filler match for an excuse for Unamericans to run in, and hype Test vs. Kane, possibly at Unforgiven. Oh wait! Bubba Dudley is now involved in feuding with the Unamericans! You mean that he can't confront Triple H? After the craziness, Booker T gets on the mic and does a typical "we hate you because you hate America" speech, setting up a 4 on 4 match at Unforgiven. I'm not digging this, sucka.
3 minute time. The WWE sinks lower and lower.... Funny how the ladie in charge of the Women's group is struggling with her lines. She can't even keep a straight face. Just like Lord Helmet was surrounded by Assholes, Bischoff was surrounded by Lesbians? Oh no, one of the
lesbians was Stephanie McMahon, and she had Billy and Chuck take out Bischoff. You know, as awful as that could have been, it turned out well. A bright spot on the show? Wow, I'm scared. I don't know how Billy and Chuck will do as faces, though. I guess since they don't act like homosexuals, the fans might cheer for them?
Rosie and Jamal vs. Billy and Chuck at Unforgiven with a stipulation. Bischoff kisses Steph's ass if Jamal/Rosie lose, and Steph does some HLA if Billy/Chuck lose. Gee, I wonder who will win?
Funny how quiet Jerry Lawler becomes when Triple H comes out. What, no mentions about Stephanie possibly performing some HOT LESBIAN ACTION?!? It goes to show that the WWE cares very little about anybody not named Triple H. That's pathetic. Triple H gets attacked by RVD, and we are left questioning who he'll fight after the break. JUST END THIS SHOW!!!
Jeff Hardy is the 'surprise' opponent for Triple H, and he screws up on the ropes just 30 seconds in! I guess that OLP piece makes Jeff an instant threat to Triple H? Please. Nothing can give Jeff Hardy any credibility now, nothing! After taking a finisher, Triple H is immediately up and able to put on his sleeper hold. Man, he's acting like Roddy Piper now! All of that great offense from Jeff Hardy was simply squashed by a sleeper hold. RVD comes in, attacks Triple H again, reminding us that he has no chance to beat Triple H.
LAST WORD: This show was absolute garbage. I don't even know why I even bother watching every Monday night, as I wish my only free day to write a column was on Friday as opposed to Mondays. At this horrible creative pace, I only wish doom on the WWE. If they can't put on a good show, then screw them. Let them go down in flames. I give this show a
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@WWE is garbage, and if nothing is done, I'll just simply stop watching. It's becoming very insulting to watch this capable company putting on half-assed shows. Back next Tuesday to tell you how bad next week's RAW was.
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.