Welcome to the SUMMERSLAM edition of the WRATH of TITO. Hey, I said I would try to write this column, and here we are on Monday, the day after the WWE's summer classic. There's lots to discuss regarding this show, namely the main event, which was a real tearjerker.

It's said that Summerslam left out a bunch of great Smackdown superstars in Haas/Benjamin, Rey Mysterio/Kidman, and John Cena (Rey did wrestle on Heat, though). With Haas/Benjamin and Mysterio/Kidman, they were only putting on fantastic television matches and put on a great tag match at the last Pay Per View. Secondly, with John Cena, didn't I tell you that his television victory over the Undertaker on Smackdown would mean nothing? The Undertaker had a spot on the Pay Per View, beat Albert-Train, and is apparently going to be repushed in the Main Event circuit! I can't believe how easy it is to predict these things! It's just as easy as predicting that Triple H would NEVER job the World Title to Bill Goldberg. Oh wait, I'm getting ahead of myself!

Heading into this show, I thought it lacked good hype for a Summerslam, of all events. Smackdown did well with Angle and Lesnar, but other than that, the feuds lacked good storylines and angles to really make you want to buy the Pay Per View. This has been a reoccurring theme for a while in the WWE, and buyrates continue to drop. Oh well, just a million bucks here, a million bucks there. No big deal.

Time's a-wasting, so on to my Summerslam thoughts!

SUMMERSLAM is TITO

The show started off with the match I least wanted to see, and that was with the Dudleys vs. La Resistance. Very, very sloppy tag team match. Besides their finisher, Dupree and Grenier(sp?) have terrible teamwork. The Dudleys looked to have won the match, but the same guy dressed as a military guy on RAW came out as a WWE camera crew worker and helped La Resistance win the match. Weak opener, and the Duds vowed revenge afterward. Thanks.

Christian did have a point backstage at NOT WRESTLING on a Pay Per View as the INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION. It just goes to show you how serious the RAW writers are for Christian AND for the returning IC title. Typical WWE.

The second match was Undertaker vs. A-Train. This is actually Vince McMahon's dream match. The story was that Vince was pushing HARD for this to headline several Pay Per Views, actually. Albert was only wrestling squash matches on Velocity, and when he was brought up to Smackdown, Vince had a hard on to push him. Luckily, Undertaker was injured and someone in the back rubbed Vince out when it came to Albert. This match was as good as you could make it with 2 tall and large inviduals trying to act like wrestlers. So slooooowwwww.... A-Train actually had the Undertaker beat, twice, once with the baldo-bomb and the other with the bicycle kick. Undertaker eventually won with the chokeslam. Afterward, Sable tried to hit on the Undertaker, but he held her for Stephanie to get in a few shots. Yay.

The next match was Shane McMahon vs. Eric Bischoff. What's the reasoning for stacking the 3 potentially bad matches all in a row and at the beginning of the show? No get. Shane and Eric tried to act like wrestlers for a while, until a big HEEL TURN occurred with Johnathan Coachman, who attacked Shane on the outside. They would turn off Jim Ross and Lawler's mics, and Coachman would then hold Shane for Bischoff to attack, and the Coach provided some GREAT Jim Ross parody commentating on what was happening. The BEST Coachman ever! If you can't get him over as a face announcer, then turn him bad, brother! Steve Austin would later run in to make the save, and Coach was pushed into Austin, as was Eric Bischoff later. Both were dealt with by Austin, and Shane won with his elbow onto the Spanish announce table. Bischoff looked to have hit his head on the steel chair at the table... hopefully, Bischoff wasn't hurt by a dangerous and sloppy spot.

The next match was Eddie Guerrero vs. Tajiri vs. Chris Benoit vs. Rhyno. Pretty good 4 way for the title. Short, but still strong and Guerrero retained. I'm for that, although I think the iron is hot on Eddie to push him up to the World Title. Eddie and Benoit seriously need another long match to show the world a great wrestling match. Hopefully, we'll get that on an upcoming episode of Smackdown or at a later Pay Per View. Good attempted finishes, as there were many near-falls at the end.

The match of the night was Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar. Lots of good mat wrestling to start, some of which they probably couldn't do at Wrestlemania 19. I was shocked at the finish, as Kurt Angle made Brock Lesnar tap out to the Anklelock, and that's with Vince McMahon interfering at ringside. It kinda takes the wind out of Lesnar's heel turn sails. I agree with Dave Meltzer in that it was odd that the referee didn't break several anklelocks when Lesnar made it to the ropes and Angle pulled back. Must be an omitted rule we never heard about?

The next match was Rob Van Dam vs. Kane. They had a tough act to follow, so the match was hurt badly by a lack of crowd reaction. The match, itself, was pretty unorganized, with several spots blown here or there. At one point, Kane went for the top rope clothesline to the outside and fell on the ropes as he tried to jump. Just no real excitement in this match. Kane won the match, and will probably go no where from here.

I wonder why Eric Bischoff wasn't arrested for the dirty things he did to Linda on Smackdown. Instead, Linda too justice into her own hands and slapped Bischoff backstage. All 4 McMahons made the Pay Per View. Too many McMahons to result in anything good.

The Elimination Chamber match was the Main Event, and it could have been the ONLY chance to make Bill Goldberg the RAW World Champion. The crowd was into him from the start, but once he eliminated Randy Orton, then Shawn Michaels, and then Chris Jericho, he was primed and more ready than ever to defeat Triple H (terrible flood pants tights tonight!) for the title. It was the perfect opportunity to crown a new champion!! Goldberg could have rode the momentum, and I bet you'd see a decent ratings spike with him as champion. If he would have failed as champion, then get the belt off of him in a TV match. Simple as that. Kevin Nash was eliminated by HBK and Jericho in a nice combination. Goldberg then eliminated Orton, HBK, and Jericho, leaving Triple H hiding in his cage. Goldberg broke open his chamber and pounded on him. Triple H didn't give much offense back and fucking won the match with a sledgehammer shot. TOTAL BULLSHIT, as you had a total cripple in the match barely doing anything and walking out of the match on top. The RAW roster is officially spent, thanks to a greedy and egotistical Triple H, who by banging the boss's daughter, will remain the RAW champion until he dies because he refuses to lose to anybody right now. He's clearly injured and needs time off, but you have him retaining the title? Makes no sense, whatsoever, especially when Goldberg looked quite over tonight.

LAST WORD: Angle/Lesnar and the United States title 4 way were strong, and the Goldberg stuff was great when he was eliminating everybody, but the first 3 matches and RVD/Kane were not Pay Per View quality. Like I said above, a good handful of your best wrestlers were left off the card, while crap in the first 3 matches were able to stink up the show for the first hour. Triple H as champion will continue to hurt RAW from ever seeing an increase in ratings and probably attendance, for he's too dominant of a heel. I'll go [ B- ] (B minus) on this show. It had its moments, and it had its downers. I've seen worse here in 2003. The belt clearly needs to get off of Triple H's waist.

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Take care, and thanks for reading!

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