Welcome to the TUESDAY edition of the WRATH of TITO. Today, boys and girls, we'll discuss RAW and some wrestling headlines. I already reviewed Smackdown on Friday. Aren't you proud of me? I hope to post a new FACT or FICTION this week, as I look forward to making up those topics after I finish this very column. That should be posted between Friday and Monday. Look out for that.
The media and the internet are in a frenzy lately from various news items, from the story about the college basketball player getting murdered, to stuff in Iraq, and of course, Kobe Bryant, whose apparent sexual assault victim is having pictures and personal information posted about her everywhere. It makes me wonder, especially with many websites getting busted for reporting the pictures and personal info on the 19 year old, if there will be heavy copyright and information laws on the internet from the federal government. Makes you wonder.
I know, here at LoP, there are copyright laws in place for the WWE. Say I had a WWE image in my column somewhere. Myself or the website would get a nasty email saying to TAKE THAT DOWN. I've been there and done that many, many times. You'd figure that by posting WWE images, it would help PROMOTE their federation instead of hurt, which is what they think happens. When the ratings slip, they look for many easy excuses as possible. I once had a website that reported news parodies called "News Orgy", which I worked with my good friend Jaymz on. I posted an image of Jerry Lawler punching Vince McMahon, one I doctored up, and the next day, the website was gone off the Tripod server. Ironic? Just the WWE using their media muscle. Many websites even publishing the pictures of the alleged sexual assault victim are busted in a second, which I agree, it's in the best interest of privacy. But then again, what is free game on the internet and what is not?
I'm glad the WWE finally got it right with the Saturday/Sunday subshows. This week, they'll air Heat on Velocity's television spot so that the Smackdown brand can control the 7:00 pm spot on Sunday nights. Great idea!
I don't know what this push for Johnathan Coachman is all about. Despite Coachman looking healthier and Jim Ross actually deteriorating in his calling voice, Jim Ross is STILL lightyears ahead of Coachman. The Coach couldn't call any of the matches properly, and he kept getting off subject from the matches. I'm sorry, but it's hard to watch a match with bad announcing. A great example of this is Tony Shiavone when the WCW product wasn't in its hot years of 1996 and 1997. He would just bore you with his commentary, whereas when Mike Tenay was commentating, it was at least interesting hearing the commentary. Ross, for the most part, calls the moves properly and he'll scream his lungs off if the crowd isn't popping for a match, whereas Coachman is totally emotionless. Jerry Lawler seems to lose more attention, too, when Coachman is around.
I'm sorry, but if you have a big problem with Jim Ross and Johnathan Coachman is *that* bad, then why not go out and find another announcer? Kevin Kelly was actually better than Coachman, but he was let go. Mike Tenay remains the best in the business, and a nice money deal could lure him over (although, I wouldn't do it if I were Tenay). No, we shouldn't suggest Joey Styles. Why? He doesn't want to be in the WWE. He's been offered a job before, and turned it down. Simple as that. How about Paul Heyman, though? Oh wait, he's color commentary! That's exactly what I'm saying! Get Jim Ross back in and have Heyman as his partner. In 2001, the WWE had great announcing because it lit a fire under Ross's ass whenever Heyman was out there getting under his skin. Yet the WWE has Heyman at home, writing up show reviews that the WWE purposely doesn't even look at. Consultant job my ass!
Writing a Smackdown column takes away from the topics you want to discuss here today, so onto RAW!
Speaking of exposed... Our first match was Molly Holly/Victoria vs. Trish Stratus/Gail Kim. If looks determined how good a wrestling match, this would be a great match. But it wasn't because Gail Kim is too inexperienced. Victoria and Molly clearly carried her and sold all of her moves to make them look especially good. Who's doing all of the work? Gail Kim's opponents, and she's the champion? Sigh. The stuff with the ropes was Jackie Gayda bad, and inexcusable. Gail looks fantastic, probably one of the best looking divas the WWE has right now. But she's more of a gymnist than she is a wrestler. I did like the finish of the match, I'll admit that. It's funny how Jerry Lawler calls Trish's special duck the "Matrix Move".
Our next match was short and terrible with Val Venis and Randy Orton. Val Venis is already failing in his 3rd attempt as a wrestling porn star, but what else can you do with him? Randy Orton wins, as it was a glorified squash match. After the match, Triple H gloats and then Bill Goldberg comes out for a confrontation. Ok, what prompted him to confront Triple H? He takes a few weeks off, and something in him makes him want to confront Triple H. Yeah, that makes sense to me. Have them bump into each other somewhere, or something. Just don't go out of the blue and challenge someone without a true purpose. I won't even give this feud a chance. HHH will make Goldberg his bitch, and their match will suck donkey balls at Summerslam. I know better than to get my hopes up anymore.
Next, it was Shawn Michaels vs. Chris Jericho. It's my opinion that this match was hurt by the lack of an angle from last week's show regarding the HBK and Jericho feud, as the show was more centered around Austin and Kane instead. Shame on them. This was a pretty good match, but not Match of the Year, by any means. I still like the Wrestlemania match better, but that's ok, because you take a good TV match when you can. I didn't care for Randy Orton and Flair's interference, though, as it would have greatly helped Jericho if he won without controversy. At least he made HBK tap...
Poor Lance Storm... this disrespect gimmick is actually hurting his career, not helping.
Our next bout was Booker T vs. Test. Filler match, as it wasn't much in the way of entertaining, especially since we had another match with interference. Can a champion win cleanly on this show? Of course not, especially when it's Booker T, a wrestler in which an evil Triple H influences to keep every former opponent down to make sure he remains on top as champion.
Rosey and the Hurricane won't work as a tag team. The writing team will soon get bored with them, or someone will purposely sabotage them if they do get over.
The main event was bad in Rob Van Dam vs. Kane. Is Kane a face or a heel, yet? Sure, he attacked Jim Ross, but many want to see that sort of thing... Not much of a match, as it was more focused on the finish, which saw Kane giving Linda McMahon the tombstone. So fucking what? I'm growing tired of the shock value used with Kane. This storyline of him becoming a maniac without the mask will NOT lead to a World Title, and if he does win it, it won't be for long or he'll be embarrassed as champion by getting no clean victories or won't have any great opponents to work with.
LAST WORD: Another hard to watch RAW. The booking was extremely unorganized, especially in the first segment where it looked as though the script was too hard to understand for the people involved. HBK vs. Jericho was good, although it had a badly booked finish, which is a given on a roster that has way too many protection issues. The Kane storyline is completely absurd to watch anymore, and the rest of the undercard wrestling could certainly need improvement, which I can't preach enough! I'll give this show another [ C ]. Keep on trying....
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Take care, and thanks for reading!