Welcome to the WRATH of TITO for Tuesday, June 3rd, 2003. It's ridiculous that it's June already. Seems like only yesterday that we just celebrated the start of 2003. Well, it's good that time is going fast, especially when you're going through graduate school, which isn't quite like wiping your ass with silk (Matrix Reloaded reference, if you didn't catch it).
It's been a dry few weeks when it comes to wrasslin' news lately. Backstage stuff seems to have a tigher lid on it, which isn't a bad thing for the WWE, but a bad thing if you're trying to post news on a weekday afternoon. The chase after the big free agents is over, while the ones in the WWE don't complain too much because they realize that there's no where else to work here in the United States. They'll just take the creative abuse from McMahon and enjoy the money they are getting in the meantime.
Some of you were surprised that a Friday Wrath of Tito was posted. Those are rare these days, as Fridays are my official days off, in my mind. I go to school and hold office hours as a graduate assistant Monday through Thursday, while working a part time job on Saturday and Sunday. Usually on Friday, I catch up on sleep and do next to nothing. I deserve a day off to do jack shit, as we all do. I usually tape Smackdown, too, and don't have it watched yet at times on Friday.
I really don't have much to say in terms of an introduction, so on to the RAW review!
The Rock is seen driving into the garage, ruling like only the Rock can. You know, RAW has been good on storylines lately, so with the addition of the Rock, things can only get better. The Rock endorses Diet Mountain Dew, the drink for wussies.
And the ratings gained from the Rock's return with the entrance of the women for some Women's wrestling... Trish, Ivory, and Jackie vs. Jazz, Victoria, and Molly Holly is the first match of the night. Funny, you only see 3 of these women wrestling on RAW on a regular basis. My good pal Shawn Valloric of Wrestlepalooza.com just messaged me this: "What a SHITTY way to start RAW". I couldn't agree more. Nice kick to the stomach from Trish on Victoria. Victoria sure bumps well, but why aren't her matches catching on with the crowds? And now overrated Jazz is working on Trish. OH, SHE'S SUCH A GODSEND TO THE WOMEN'S DIVISION. No charisma, whatsoever. The crowd is quite silent here, which is what I keep repeating, week after week, yet nobody backstage with any creative power can see this. Just use them to sell calendars, and keep them home to collect a paycheck. Well, Jazz won't be selling calendars, but you get the point. Ivory pinned Jazz with some kind of facebuster, in which I say I DON'T CARE! It doesn't excite me! The replay shows Ivory used the X-Factor. I can say it: SHADES OF X-PAC!
Bill Goldberg arrives... I wonder what he'll do with the Rock on the Highlight Reel?
I must say... Charlie's Angels 2 looks somewhat decent. If anything, it will mark a comeback by Demi Moore, and that's a good thing.
Oh man, the Stand Up to Tobacco commercial just bashed Hollywood and Mtv for not showing "murders", or I guess cigarette deaths. It had a bunch of hipee girls talking out their ass. Sigh. Keep trying.
Gee, I wonder if the WWE.com poll regarding Jim Ross's Cookbook will be rigged.
Test and Stacy argue backstage... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. I so don't care about this storyline.
Oh my God!!! They are letting the Hurricane back on RAW. Oh wait, I spoke too soon. Randy Orton jumps Hurricane, and he's disposed of. Triple H and Ric Flair come down, and the glass ceiling is firmly in place on Monday Night RAW. Ric Flair gets on the mic and rips into Shawn Michaels. Funny. Two retired wrestlers are going to steal the show from bunch of guys under 40 (Nash being over 40, the exception, and maybe Goldberg?). Flair had me laughing with those sexual comments. Shawn Michaels comes down for some trash talking. Not much face reaction... HBK made some references about Flair leaving in 1992, and becoming successful after that. Eh, you could say HBK really became big when Hulk Hogan left the company instead. Triple H calls on HBK, and that prompts Kevin Nash to walk out to an even weaker face pop. I liked how they had the Hurricane come back to get revenge on Orton to even the odds here, but Nash is such a joke as a top face. Orton vs. Hurricane could be a good midcard feud.
I like Scott Steiner's entrance... He came out with Stacy, and his opponent is Steven Richards. Test comes out before the match starts, ensuring that ratings will go up. Man, I'm funny tonight. Squash match, as Richards continues to get underappreciated, despite clearly working hard to be in great shape. I do like how Steiner has he has Stacy walking in and out of the ropes. Corny touch. Eric Bischoff comes out, maybe wanting more Stacy ring entrances? SMELL THE BUYRATES with Test vs. Steiner at Bad Blood.
Jim Ross reports that an hour ago, Freddie Blassie died. Damn. I can't say I've had much of an appreciation for Blassie, given that I became a wrestling fan just as he retired from the full time schedule. I liked him from the few things I've seen him do, and he's a great example of a wrestler lasting the test of time instead of going before the age of 50.
Backstage, Steve Austin and Eric Bischoff talk backstage about their "redneck" contests at Bad Blood. What?
Backstage, we are see Bill Goldberg with Terri. Chris Jericho, like any stereotypical WWE wrestler, ruins Goldberg's vehicle with a can of paint. I guess it's better than Kurt Angle throwing food on the Undertaker's motorcycle.
Christian walks out and has own show called the "Peep's show", since Jericho is off and running from Goldberg. Jericho being here would have been better, but oh well. Rock comes out, and he rules the world, folks. Christian plays the heel here, and Rock acts like a face in saying Christian can't replace Rocky as the People's champion. Rock then goes into the crowd, nearly getting mobbed in the process, asking who the real People's champion is. Chris Jericho comes back, as this segment is going downhill fast. Jericho asks the Rock how the Spear feels. Jericho attacks Rock, as does Christian, and Booker T comes down to even the sides, and Rock gets the better of Jericho. TOTAL TRAINWRECK of a segment. Booker T gets the Rock to give us a Rock-a-rooni. This would be great live, but it's not much on TV. Rock probably gave us the best Spinarooni outside of Booker T, to his credit.
Kane vs. Rene Dupree is next. I guess it has become amateur night? Dupree got the win to nobody caring thanks to some distraction and a low blow. ZZZZZZZZZ Steve Austin comes out and confronts Kane about everything lately. Austin then antagonizes Kane, challenging him to do something. Austin asks where the Kane of 1998 is... Hey, why don't you ask Triple H? Kane can't bring himself to chokeslam Austin, so Austin stuns Kane out of no where. The WWE may have something with this angle, and giving Kane a big push would be good. Oh wait, Triple H is still on RAW. MY BAD.
Next match is Christian/Chris Jericho vs. Booker T/Goldust. The crowd is into this one than other matches. Not much to cheer about tonight. Hardly any tag formats used, so far, with in and outs and no "face in peril" method being used. Booker T gets the pin in this match, which was quite unorganized for the 2 teams. Maybe Christian will retain at Bad Blood. Bill Goldberg goes after Jericho but hits a referee with a spear instead. D'oh!
Wow, the WWE remembers history, as referee Tim White was badly hurt in the last Hell in the Cell match (Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar?). That's cool. We now get a special guest referee for Nash vs. HHH, which is another added stipulation because Nash and HHH can't draw on a singles match alone.
Our main event is Flair/HHH/Orton vs. HBK/Nash/Hurricane. Funny stuff with Hurricane and HBK posing. Someone in the WWE production department needs a tongue lashing for how smokey the arena is tonight. Boring.... Nash and Triple H wrestling in there reminds me of how bad their Hell in the Cell match will be at Bad Blood, no matter how many extra variables they add to it. Match ended with a terribly timed pin after Triple H gave the Pedigree to Hurricane, and Orton went for the pin. The abortion of a match ended with Nash powerbombing Triple H afterward. I'd love to see someone tell me with a straight face that Kevin Nash will make a great world champion.
LAST WORD: After 2 good weeks of storyline RAWs, we are treated to a very unorganized and boring show. The Rock's appearance was totally worthless, the matches sucked, and nothing in the storylines clicked this week, aside from Austin and Kane. I mean, I think Bad Blood will be a decent show, but do something to keep up the sparks for the show's hype. I'll give it a [ C ]. I like the thing with Kane/Austin, but on a show owned by Triple H, it's hard to really get excited about anything like this. Better luck next week.
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