Welcome to a very special FRIDAY edition of the Wrath of Tito. Having watched Smackdown on time this week AND getting a little inspired to write today, here we are. What's the motivation? The fact that the WWE MAY put the RAW World Title on Kevin Nash, arguably the worst possible candidate to put a title on right now. Given that it's a Hell in the Cell match, although Triple H has a great record in those, it's a given for the face to win the match. Plus, it appears Nash will win because Triple H has been heard to say that he'd put the title on Nash and Nash only. Of course, I don't have any backstage passes, but given the fact that he's looked over everybody EXCEPT for his close real life friend, Shawn Michaels, for the World Title, it's a pretty good assumption.
Let's be honest here, it would be SUICIDAL for the WWE to give the title to Kevin Nash. Have you heard his crowd responses lately? Welcome to 2003, where the smaller wrestler is King. Triple H and the Rock are probably the max height of wrestlers who make the best world champions, and Nash is from that old era where the HOSSES were on top of the card. Even worse, Nash has a track record of being a terrible WWF World Champion, given his run in 1994-1995, which killed a lot of business for the WWE and helped open the door for competition to rise up and challenge the WWF in 1995, in the form of WCW. He's just not a very good face. That's just a fact of life. As a heel, he's better, but for any case, Nash is best when he's a part of a group, such as being a part of the NWO, which got him over in WCW.
And as for wrestling, he doesn't have the moveset and the ability for the crowds to want to scream his name here in 2003. His moves aren't flashy, he has no in-ring charisma to win over fans, and he's so sloooooooowwww. What amazes me is that even Vince McMahon can't take Triple H aside and say "look, your good friend Kevin Nash is NOT over with the crowd. He'd make me lose a lot of money, again, if he becomes champion". Then again, Vince is paying Nash about $700,000 or so of guaranteed money, so like the Big Show, he must justify his investment (Big Show signed a 10 year, $10 million contract in 1999), so in Vince's mind, he must push him to the top if he's making that kind of money. Ugh.
But think about it. As World Champion, what can Kevin Nash do? On RAW Monday, he gave one of the must unemotional interviews, ever. Good champions, in most cases, need to be great talkers to look good as champions. Nash is probably scared shitless after tearing his quadricep that he's going to take it easy before his big WWE contract runs out, which is another word for not caring to be there anymore. Why is it that Nash gets the push when there is a whole roster of guys who are much hungrier than Nash? You have your Booker Ts, your Chris Jerichos, your Kanes, your Rob Van Dams, your Lance Storms, and many others who put forth great effort every night, only to have a tall slug, who is getting absolutely no crowd reaction, getting the nod to become World Champion.
It's ridiculous. If I had a creative position in the WWE, I would have Triple H beat Nash at Bad Blood, and then to "justify Nash's contract", I'd make him a tag team wrestler. You know, he does have history as a tag wrestler with another guy on the roster, and his name is Shawn Michaels. After Bad Blood, he'll have nothing to do, too, meaning Nash and HBK could reform their team. Given their history as champions and that HBK does get a decent reaction, it could work. If not, then turn them heel. I personally think a Nash and HBK tag team would work, as Nash could be motivated to work with his buddy, Shawn. But the World Title for singles wrestling? BAD idea. Tagging up with Shawn Michaels again? GOOD idea, in my opinion.
If you get a chance, check out the latest FACT or FICTION column. I'm really happy with the way the column has been working.
I really don't know what to say about Metallica's new single, "St. Anger". As a big fan of ALL of their music, the new song just baffles me. I mean, there's excessive drums in it instead of hearing ACTUAL guitars, while changing pace way too much. This is Metallica going back to their roots? Maybe when they were just learning how to play. Hopefully, the rest of the St. Anger album won't be like this (I didn't mind the Frantic song they briefly played on ICON), and I'll see when I BUY it on June 9th or 10th (I know a place to get it a day early).
On to SMACKDOWN.
Another good tag match between Team Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri. People say that many teams on Smackdown feud way too much for the tag division's own good. I call that bluff. If you can provide great matches, then what's wrong with wrestling a lot to build a great rivalry? Look throughout the history, and you'll see that guys wrestled many times during a feud, such as Triple H and Foley, Triple H and the Rock, Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair and Terry Funk, and many more examples I could cite off the top of my head. If you can back them up with good matches, then why not keep doing it? The whole goal of this current feud is that Guerrero/Tajiri swiped the titles at Judgment Day, and they are now escaping every other match. I laughed at the finish, with Eddie ringing the bell and tricking Team Angle to disqualify themselves. Good stuff.
Next, we had the lie detector segment with Mr. America and Vince McMahon. Ah yes, our trip to the 1980's continues. I'll admit, I laughed at the corniness of this segment, such as seeing a smiling Mr. America asking Vince some crazy questions while on the lie detector. I'll admit it. But this is Smackdown, mostly watched by male teenagers. Do you remember what happened when Hulk Hogan was World Champion last year? Ratings went DOWN on Smackdown, showing that the audience that watches the show wants to see youth wrestling, not old legends. In fact, many of the teenagers tuning into Smackdown didn't watch Hulk Hogan back in the day. But hey, let's keep doing this angle since the WWE is in a current mood to lose fans anyway.
And now, my FINGER OF SHAME for having Sean O'Haire beat Chris Benoit. Now granted, I'm all about elevation. O'Haire is one I'd like to see get a good push, given that he has lots of potential. HOWEVER, how long will it take for the WWE to get bored with him? Honestly, if you remember what happened to him after Backlash when he beat Rikishi... He was on VELOCITY wrestling weeks later! I feel as though the same exact thing will happen here, meaning his win against Benoit will be a memory, while Benoit's worth will continue to diminish when they continue to refuse to push Benoit for whatever reason it is this month. I don't know about you, but a Brock Lesnar vs. Chris Benoit would surely kick ass (don't call me Shirley), and would blow away any other potential match the Smackdown roster would try, aside from the Lesnar vs. Angle rematches. But hey, keep throwing away great opportunities and let a perfectly capable Benoit rot in the midcard.
Rey Mysterio vs. Matt Hardy next week? Wow, one week of hype, considering Mysterio and Hardy haven't interacted with each other in a while, and also, when was the last time Matt actually defended that Cruiserweight title? Am I the only one, these days, who can see such flaws in the WWE storylines? It looks it.
Color me unimpressed with the Basham Brothers. They fought Rikishi/Spanky, and won via cheating. Oh big deal. Funny. Spanky is already resorting to the lameduck tag team matches, proving that the new Smackdown creative team is already bored with him. That's sad.
Our final match was the Undertaker/Brock Lesnar vs. the FBI and the Big Slow. The match wasn't bad, surprisingly, thanks to a motivated Lesnar. I don't know how you can get motivated by wrestling the Big Show on a nightly basis, but more power to him. Seeing the Undertaker back scares me. See, I don't mind the Undertaker lately, but the simple fact that with the Undertaker back, it means it's only a matter of time before the most untalented wrestler will return in Nathan Jones. Big Show pinned Brock Lesnar, meaning they've got one more match in them to go. Oh fuck me, not again!
LAST WORD: Smackdown, lately, is making my head hurt. I laugh at those who said "Paul Heyman wasn't that great as head booker", because if you watch the Smackdowns of the past few months, they lack sense and several wrestlers are getting the shaft lately, such as Hardy and Benoit. I guess John Cena had the night off or will be wrestling on Velocity? The Hogan vs. Vince feud takes up too much time, which would be better suited for younger wrestlers for long term growth and because Hogan vs. Vince isn't exactly booming ratings for Smackdown. At least Kurt Angle is returning sometime soon, and thank God, because he's too good NOT to push. I'll give this show a [ B- ] (B minus), which is opposite of RAW in having better wrestling but bad storylines. If Vince McMahon honestly thinks this version of Smackdown is better than Heyman's, then he's smoking too much crack in his old age.
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@Come on Kurt Angle, return already~! Save us from bad television!
Take care, and thanks for reading!