Welcome to a special Friday edition of the WRATH of TITO. I've got some free time on my hands, so I figured I'd review the best wrestling show on television, STILL. Until Triple H is erased from the planet or decides to start being generous to his opponents, RAW will NEVER be better than Smackdown, and that includes a Smackdown without Kurt Angle for a while.
Wow, amazing response to the returning FACT or FICTION column! The return has been nothing but a success, and this week's 3 Way dance between myself, Da Ref, and Schwab is getting a lot of good praise. Again, it's basically themed around ESPN's Fact or Fiction, in which a statement is made and one of us will say "Fact" or "Fiction", and then give our reasons why. CLICK HERE to read the column!
My lazy ass FINALLY got around to updating my column archives! Well, I wouldn't call it lazy more than you'd say I just didn't want to sit down for an hour and do senseless HTML work for an hour. But anyway, besides today's column and the Fact or Fictions, most everything that I've ever written is at http://mrtitopdc.tripod.com. So enjoy.
Personally, I think the early war of words between Triple H and Bill Goldberg is a total and absolute work. There are Pay Per Views to sell, and both of them know it. What happened to both of them is in the past and the heat of the moment with competiting rivals. With Triple H banging Vince's daughter, you'd think Vince would personally ask Triple H if it was cool to bring in Goldberg. He must have, and hence, Goldberg is in the WWE.
You know, some people are asking about the "Willie the Worker" guy in the WWE, who is writing columns for 1Wrestling to vent his frustrations with his workplace. This guy has actually e-mailed me about a week ago, asking me to post his material. My exact reply was "REVEAL YOURSELF", and he didn't reply to me, whatsoever. For one, why would anyone want to lower themselves to post under an fake name for the sake of WWE fans? If this guy has legit beefs with the WWE, then bring it up to management. Don't hide behind the internet. Anytime I ever have a problem at a workplace, I go talk to management. Sure, Vince McMahon is a son of a bitch about problems, but it's better than hiding your tail between your legs like Willie is doing.
If he has any guts, then he'll REVEAL HIMSELF to me through e-mail. I won't tell the world, either. I'm just betting that you are currently OFF television right now and barely have a job, or that you're not a WWE wrestler at all. Gladly e-mail me your alias, and maybe I'll take you seriously. Until then, you're just another columnist with grumblings about the WWE. Join the club.
Let's review SMACKDOWN!
But I digress. Stephanie announced that there would be a #1 contendership tournament on Smackdown to determine who Brock Lesnar would fight at Backlash. Brock is out for the evening with a concussion and Angle is trying the miracle surgery to be out 2 months. Not a bad idea with the tournament, as it beats Necrophilia any day of the week or any idea tried on that Monday night show.
The matches started off immediately with Rey Mysterio vs. the Undertaker. A very unique match up. I liked it. I have NO problems with Rey losing to the Undertaker. I mean, Rey-Rey is a Cruiserweight who does his spinning moves on smaller wrestlers. Undertaker is a big mofo, and you won't see a 160 pound guy spinning his ass around a 300-plus, almost 7 foot tall wrestler. It made sense to me, whereas you have a case with Jeff Hardy, whose suicidal moves would do more hurt to a larger guy. But that didn't happen... Good finish with the Last Ride formed from Rey's finisher.
Vince McMahon arrived, reminding us that his feud with Hulk Hogan isn't over just yet. Joy.
Next bout was Jamie Noble vs. Brian Kendrick. For the short amount of time this was given, it was pretty good. Jamie Noble continues to received poor treatment just because Stephanie has whatever problem with Nidia. Kendrick looked pretty good in the ring, making me wonder how the WWE can't put together a good Cruiserweight division. Let's see here... Rey Mysterio, Noble, Kendrick, Matt Hardy, Shannon Moore, and Tajiri. That's not a bad division. There are plenty of good lightweights out on the independent division that the WWE could get for CHEAP, too, to make it even better. But heaven forbid we have these little guys outperforming Albert or the Big Show. We just can't have that. Kendrick wins and gets jumped for it afterward. Matt Hardy then makes an open challenge to Brock Lesnar next week. So now, you have John Cena and Matt Hardy, two up and coming midcarders, talking smack on its brand's World Champion. Do you see any midcarders talking trash on Triple H?!? Do you see the difference between how Triple H is treated and the rest of the company? If you don't see it, then you seriously need to get rid of the brainwashing that has occurred to you.
The WWE was showing Brock's botched Shooting Star several times. It's pretty sick stuff. By playing this, it does raise the fans' expectations of Brock to maybe try it again in the future.
Next match was Chris Benoit vs. Albert-Train. Complete carry-job by Chris Benoit here. He made Albert look like a million bucks, and if Benoit gets bashed backstage for his match with Albert, I'll tell the WWE a big FUCK YOU and watch the tape again. Benoit bumped all around the ring for this fat and worthless slug. I say this in reference to the WWE blaming Edge for not helping A-Train by their match a while ago. Albert should seriously look into making that weird looking submission as a regular finisher instead of anything he's ever tried. Benoit is the man!
By the way, if I misspell a word here or there, understand that I can barely see parts of the screen due to some migraine headache problems this afternoon.
Just debut Sean O'Haire already!
The next bout in the tournament was Eddie Guerrero vs. John Cena. Eddie Guerrero is much better as a heel, in my opinion. I want to LOVE to boo this guy instead of cheer for him as a good guy. But if his position as a face is to elevate new heels into the fold, such as Joh Cena, then I'm all for it. John Cena beat Eddie cleanly, to my surprise, with a weird looking DVD. If that was a DVD. Good midcard wrestling.
Torrie Wilson then comes out, with major tittie-hard-on (I'm not complaining), and thanks everyone for wanting to see her nude. Hey, no problem. She was then going to give everyone an added bonus by stripping right there in the arena, but suddenly, a face from the past returns... Sable, who was last seen in the WWE during late 1998 (I believe), comes out. Sable looks much older now than she did before. Mind you, she was in her 30's or so when we last saw her, so she may be pushing 40 right now. But she looks pretty old in the face, but it could have been her make up job that day. Who knows? I liked her promo though. As corny as the stuff she says, she was a vital role of the WWE in 1998. She drew heat from her "for the guys who came to see me and for the women who want to BE me" stuff, and we'll see if her arrogance can piss off the crowd again. We'll also see if her body holds up here in 2003, whether or not she's lost anything or not. She was SMOKIN' in her day, but then again, that was around 4-5 years ago. I kinda like this return of Sable. It gives Torrie someone new to feud with and there's legit stuff behind it since Sable was the first WWE diva in Playboy. Hey, it beats any of the other women's feuds lately.
Next, we had a solid tag team bout between Team Angle and Tajiri/Funaki. It was given time, too!! Funaki and Tajiri are two very underappreciated wrestlers, and if you give them a chance to shine, they'll take it. Team Angle is very much my favorite team in the WWE right now. Whoever thought of putting these two together under Kurt Angle's wing needs a bonus. Before, nobody knew what to do with Haas, and Benjamin was supposed to come in as a pimp or a hustler. Good stuff.
I agree with many in that the FBI will help John Cena beat the Undertaker next week. What's wrong with Cena just using a chain to win? Everybody requires help by other wrestlers just to get one win over the Undertaker, just to get their face smashed in the rematch. You watch!
Our final bout was the Big Show vs. Rhyno. Not a very good match, as it was just the Big Show tossing around Rhyno. Who cares? Even worse, the finish was a DQ to make it so Rhyno doesn't have a chance to pin the Big Show's shoulders down to the mat. Unfair.
Instead of a main event, we go back to the Vince McMahon and Hulk Hogan feud. After some hints of making up, Vince would announce that Hogan was going to now sit at home and collect the rest of the money on his contract, as Vince won't use him on Smackdown. Oh lord. So Vince McMahon played Vince Russo from 2000 by making Hogan sit at home, and Eric Bischoff played Eric Bischoff from 1994 by FIRING Steve Austin from RAW. Enjoy Hogan on RAW and Austin on Smackdown, I guess? I know Hogan has been itching to wrestling Bill Goldberg again. Funny to see Jimmy Hart on WWE television these days.
LAST WORD: Not a bad show, overally, and this is without Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle. I like the tournament idea, and I'm happy with the winners of each match. The only real problem I had with this show as the ending, although it could be the finish of the Hogan vs. Vince feud forever. Great show all around, which gives this an [ A ] (A) in my gradebook. It's funny. On Smackdown, you have a good 10 guys who seem to have a chance to shine every week, whereas on RAW, it's only Triple H. Which show is better? Smackdown, of course.
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