Ah yes, it's time for the Wrath of Tito once again! And I'm in a foul mood this evening, too. The stress of driving through Pittsburgh traffic to go Christmas shopping aside, I've witness nothing but stupidity from the wrestling business this week. Whether it's from blind wrestling marks, stupid internet interviews, or bad material from wrestling shows, this has been a week to somewhat forget.
First of all, after I blasted RAW, as it sucked with the 3.3 rating agreeing with me, and I got the usual "are you a wrestling fan" and other negative shit through the e-mail. Quit wasting my time. If you actually think that Monday Night RAW is a good wrestling show, then you are smoking some of the finest CRACK in the land. It's horrible, and if the show was ground breaking, then it wouldn't be below 3.5 on a consistent basis now. But it is. Maybe try to actually open your eyes when watching RAW or consume less alcohol to finally realize what a piece of garbage show that RAW is. The writing sucks, the wrestlers aren't fresh, and Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H is NOT good feud whatsoever. You won't see Armageddon scoring high buyrates or anything with that as the main event or one of the main events.
Ok, I find several of the recent internet interviews completely ridiculous. Guys outside of the WWE are just flat out ignorant when they open their yaps. No offense to the ones doing the interviews, by the way... The Lash LeRoux interview from Xtreme Mayhem had Lash presenting a resume for the WWE to look into. He was such an ass-kisser on that interview, saying NOTHING negative about anything. He used the old wrestling goes through trends idea to explain the drop in business for the WWE. Uh huh, I'm sure if he was backstage with the WWE right now, he'd be bitching about the creative direction of the company with the boys. (I did like his comment about if WCW was alive today, fans may start watching it. Of course, WCW didn't have a clue at the time of their death, as they had Road Warrior Animal and Rick Steiner in the main event with Johnny Ace as head booker). He said good things about the right people in the interview, like Triple H, Eric Bischoff, Vince McMahon, and even a little bit about Vince Russo. Come on Lash, get in some honesty for these interviews!!!
Then, we have Joey Styles, the ECW wet dream of an announcer. He had an interview with No Holds Barred radio recently, and on the subject of his chance to work with the WWE, he stated that he turned them down because he didn't want the WWE to "own him". Huh? Last time I checked, WWE announcers had creative freedoms outside of the WWE. Take Kevin Kelly and Jerry Lawler, for instance, who have several outside projects with independent federations. No announcers are "owned" by the WWE. I'm sure they'd let Joey Styles continue to sell coins if he took the job. Besides, he's stated in the past that he turned the WWE down because of the money offer they gave him. Lovely how he changes his story. I laughed at his comments about how the "product can't be blaimed for the company's death". Sure, the money problems were the most devastating blows to ECW, but do you honestly think that fans outside of ECW's hardcore fanbase bought Justin Credible as ECW World Champion? And with their TNN show, money has nothing to do with the show never exploding in the ratings. Despite some good wrestling, ECW struggled with making sense for their storylines towards the end. It never caught on to grab new fans like it did say from 1995-1999 or so.
At least Sting still has his head screwed on straight. He did a pretty good and honest interview with the Online Sun, in which he explains his feelings on the WWE. Click Here to read it.
As for Roddy Piper and Vince Russo. I don't need to watch the NWA-TNA segment to tell you that both are IDIOTS. Neither man has done anything good to the wrestling business from late 1999 and on, and neither man has a clue of what wrestling content that the fans want to see. Russo has failed to make it on his own without Vince McMahon holding a leash, and Roddy Piper has lost his mind ever since he realized that not even Hogan vs. Piper could draw fans in WCW anymore. Piper tries to act like the voice of reason at times, too, which makes him come off as ridiculous instead of credible to wrestling fans. Both guys need to realize that they've made plenty of money from the wrestling business, more than they should have, and just retire. Rid us from putting up with their crap any more longer!
The Godfather was released. Although I thought the Pimp character was extremely stale, Charles Wright has been in the WWE for a long time now. Hell, you can find him in the WWE in 1992 as Papa Shango when he briefly feuded with the Ultimate Warrior, making black stuff bleed from the Warrior's forehead. He then became Kama, the extreme fighting machine, in which he melted the Undertaker's urn into a necklace at one point. He resurfaced in the reorganized Nation of Domination in 1997, I believe, and later evolved into the Godfather, the Pimp that had crowds chanting his phrases over smoking weed. After that got stale, he turned into the GOODfather as part of the Right to Censor, and then back to the Godfather for one more nostalgia trip. He flirted briefly as a heel on the secondary shows, but disappeared due to injury. I believe he was also in hot water, there at the end, for taking long time buddy Scott Hall out for some drinks during Hall's early time in the WWE this past Spring.
Speaking of Hall, I just realized that Kevin Nash isn't that far away from returning to the WWE after ripping his quad during the summer. Ah damn it! Maybe he could return with the Undertaker, and then the WWE will become the "Land of the Big Men" again with other big slugs like Albert and the Big Show, who are currently stinking up Smackdown when there are more capable workers on the show to showcase instead.
Something wrong went on with the Best of Backyard Wrestling Volume 5. You can't find it anyway. I've had it on back-order at Suncoast Video for a while now, and finally took it off after the website listed that the DVD and VHS were "unavailable". Amazon and Barnes and Noble insist that either the videos could be out of stock or print, or that the availability of the videos will be a few weeks after you order. Jesus! I've been trying to contact Backyard Wrestling Inc. for their comment, but they have yet to respond. I mean, if you aren't going to release Volume 5 from fears of it not doing well, then just have it taken off Amazon, Suncoast, or Barnes and Noble instead of having people who want the video getting jerked off from delays.
I've got a LOT to discuss from Smackdown, as this show was very much full of terrible spots, despite 2 great matches on the card.
The new push of Albert is an exact case of what I'm talking about. He's nothing but a tall and out of shape slug with a HORRIBLE look to market, even as a heel for the fans to chant. Fans don't even boo Albert, they just continually chant "shave your back" instead of booing, say a beatdown of Rey Mysterio. Speaking of that, we were treated to Albert beating up Rey Mysterio like he was fighting a Cruiserweight on Velocity. Then, he attacks Rey's knee to explain why Mysterio will be out for a few weeks. Oh heaven forbid another Cruiserweight get the rub from Mysterio, but a guy about 3 times a heavy as Mysterio gets it. Poor Edge. He now has the task of fighting this enormous pile of crap at the Pay Per View. Does anybody want to watch that for the price of $34.99?
Bill DeMott's gimmick of trying to get respect is old and way overdone by now. Add this to the fact that he's an uninteresting wrestler, and you'll have another flop on your hands.
Stephanie came out and stated that her sleeping with Scott Steiner was done for the Smackdown fans. Uh huh, was that suppose to get fans to cheer for her or something? Now watch, Scott Steiner will turn down the Smackdown contract next week because Stephanie gave him a HORRIBLE case of crabs. SMELL THE RATINGS!
By the way, when I mentioned "sloppy seconds" in reference to Steiner's relationship to Stephanie from RAW, I got at least 10 e-mails telling me that X-Pac is also getting Triple H's "sloppy seconds" in Chyna these days. Now that's funny.
Next, we had a short Cruiserweight match between Jamie Noble and Crash Holly. Crash Holly got the win, but I have to wonder. Was this done to help Crash or to get sympathy from the fans to set up the debut of Nunzio next week? I bet that Crash will be going back to Velocity duty instead of this match meaning anything for him, and that's unfortunate.
That was a good interview promo by Chris Benoit about his drive for the WWE title. He's been improving his speaking ability lately, in my opinion. Who says he can't become a complete wrestler?
I love how the whole Dawn Marie-Torrie Wilson-Al Wilson storyline isn't getting good reactions from fans, yet they keep pushing it down our throats. And they wonder why fans are turning away these days?
Funaki vs. Bill DeMott was next. Nothing like a good squash match. I thought these were outlawed during the Monday Night Wars? Sadly, Funaki actually has some crowd response from his announcing stint lately. Even after watching Tough Enough 3, I know fans are just saying "who the hell is Bill DeMott?" still.
I YAWN at via satellite interviews. The future rematch of Brock vs. the Big Show, again, isn't going to draw more fans in. I don't have to keep reminding everyone of this.
And now, the first good match of last night. Billy Kidman vs. Chavo Guerrero was a good Cruiserweight outing last night, and it wasn't the short match crap we were used to for Kidman lately. The match was given well over 5 minutes to develop, and Kidman got a good win out of the bout to finally make him look like a worth champion. Just keep this up, and you'll build Kidman's credibility, not only as a champion, but as a fan favorite as well. Kidman's a capable worker, so let his WORKRATE speak for him, instead of stupid shock value or a storyline.
Next, it was a rapping contest between John Cena and Rikishi. "Holy Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, Batman!" in reference to John Cena. The gimmick of B-Squared is an absolute joke, especially when Bull Buchanan tries to watch like he's a pimped up G. Whatever. He lacks the charisma to make anything of that gimmick. Cena's rap was pretty good, actually, but Rikishi can't rap if he tried. God, that was a HORRIBLE rap by Rikishi. He should just stick with putting stinkfaces on people, although that's as bad as his rapping. Segment had Tazz and Rikishi clearing the ring when Cena and B-Squared tried to attack. Anybody else seem to miss seeing Tazz in the ring by seeing him slap on the Tazmission? I sorta did. I'd much rather see Tazz in that ring than many of the current WWE wrestlers, but I'll also admit that I like Tazz on color commentary, too.
And then, a great match. Edge vs. Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero for the #1 contendership was up next. Damn Edge had to sell the Albert attacks. Argh!!! Very good action between the 4, which you've come to expect. They fought hard to be the Big Show's lame duck opponent at Armageddon, as everybody knows it will be Lesnar vs. Big Show at Royal Rumble for the WWE title. HEAVEN FORBID that any of the 4 in this match attempt to carry the promotion as WWE champion. The match had Benoit making Guerrero tap, and then Guerrero helping to make Benoit lose later on. If the WWE lets Benoit and Guerrero GET IT ON at Armageddon, then there's one match to look foward to on the show. Benoit and Guerrero have yet to let it loose on each other, in a good singles match, in the WWE rings yet or at least with a significant amount of time given to them to perform. This would lead to a great one on one battle between Edge and Angle. These two were ripping it up in their previous feud, and that same magic returned for a great finish to the match. Then, the Big Show ran down and chokeslammed Angle to remind us that great effort is not rewarded in the WWE.
Oh, but the show wasn't over!!! The show ended with Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie in the hotel room. You see, if Torrie would play "eat the carpet" with Dawn Marie, then Dawn would call off the wedding with Torrie's father Al Wilson. That's how this show ended, with WWE cameras cutting off just as Dawn was about to get all over Torrie. I thought, during a WWE meeting, that Vince McMahon claimed "shock TV was over" or something like that? Putting over a WEDDING ANGLE with a LESBIAN ANGLE looks like an attempt at shock TV to me. I'll whip out the FINGER OF SHAME for this trashy attempt at being Vince Russo here. It won't work here in 2002 and it's completely stupid of Vince McMahon to declare that shock TV is over, yet keep on trying to push it here. Hell, DOUBLE FINGER OF SHAME for the Albert push, while we are at it.
LAST WORD: I guess this show was worthy of a viewing from 2 matches. HOWEVER, there was a lot of crap surfacing on this show. The rap contest, the pushing of Albert, again, the via satellite crap, the Bill DeMott push, and other things aren't going to turn this company around. It's time for the WWE to reward the best workers and get rid of the crap that turns viewers away. Shock TV is over and done with. Ask Howard Stern or Jerry Springer why their shows aren't so hot anymore. Hell, Dawn and Torrie could actually start kissing, on live television, and it still won't attract viewers. Besides, the WWE is actually recycling this Shock TV, as they somewhat tried it with Ivory and the Kat, and then the Hot Lesbian Action stuff with Eric Bischoff. I'll give this show a [ B- ] (B Minus) on the basis of TWO good television matches, while the rest of the the show sucked badly. A B-Minus is very generous.
QUICK TOUGH ENOUGH THOUGHTS: This cast sure seems to get a lot of free stuff. Do you notice how they have been given plenty of T-Shirts from sponsors? Especially when cuts are being made, half of the guys are wearing Yahoo! shirts or that other sponsor that I can't think of. I agree with the Kelly cut. Is it just me, or has she become more out of shape than before she joined the show? I thought the WWE trainers were working these guys? Oh wait, she sat out most of the training procedures with "injuries". So long. She was a little shit-stirrer behind the scenes, anyway. I'd LAUGH if Eric had to pull out of the competition due to an STD acquired while shacking with that blonde in Iceland. Now that's ratings. John is somewhat of a shoe-in for one spot. The other spot, I see either Jonah or Jamie getting it. Jonah has a good personality on him that the WWE would love to maybe market, while Jamie seems to be "getting it" in the ring. I see Matt getting like 4th, while Eric and Justin will get cut soon.
Check out the Valley Wrestling Federation and Willygoat Xtreme Wrestling. Two great backyard feds.
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KOLTERSHOCK!!! - A site that you shouldn't view with small children present!
X-Entertainment.com - One of the most entertaining pages on the net!
@I might be back for a Smackdown review on Friday. Don't know yet...
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.