Another Wrath of Tito is upon us! I did not whip up a column for Friday. For one, I contracted a severe case of food poisoning, in which I dehydrated myself several times during the night (if you know what I mean... I won't get into details), and slept the rest of the day for Friday. I did watch Smackdown, though, but I'd rather not review it.
Why? Because Smackdown was a complete throwaway show. The show was aimed at non fans with its pathetic attempts at comedy, while having extremely bad wrestling with the exception of one tag match and I wonder why. I understand that some of the audience isn't viewing that evening, but the hardcore fans who will go out of their way to view WWE on Thanksgiving should at least get a decent show to watch. That would keep them from coming back, week after week, and years from now, the hardcore fans are the ones you want around when building a new fanbase.
But the hardcore fans will leave soon, as the WWE product has gone to complete shit like it has lately. It's total crap, and I find myself disgusted with it by the week. How anyone can stomach Triple H vs. Shawn Michaels at Armageddon or the Big Show as World Champion is beyond me. The midcard is so half-assed, especially when it comes to the RAW brand. The only thing keeping me motivated to watch is the Smackdown Tag Team Division with the likes of Benoit, Angle, Mysterio, Edge, and the Guerreros because they can WRESTLE a good match almost every time, while the Big Slow stands in the ring and lets objects bounce off of him and while Triple H finds out that he isn't even half of the good performer he was in 2000.
It's almost as bad as the tail end of the Invasion Angle. And I almost quit watching then. At least in this era, I have the Smackdown Tag Division to enjoy, whereas I hated every thing about the product last year at this time. But still, at least with Ric Flair coming in and the NWO on its way, maybe things could have been interesting. Now, we just have Scott Steiner as an interesting point, but the long run problems of the WWE still has nobody but the Big Show getting any proper attention on Smackdown, while Triple H will continue to dominate RAW.
And if I don't like it, I'll quit watching. Believe me, it's getting close to that point again. I'm a few inches from never watching RAW again and just watching Smackdown exclusively.
I laugh at the Billboard charts and how they are interpretted by the WWE. In the Conference Call, Linda McMahon bragged that the WWE had 6 out of the top 10 videos on the Sports video sales chart. Well, that's not shit compared to how the WWE would have 9 to 10 spots of that top 10 just 2 years ago. Those And1 videos shouldn't even be up to par with WWE videos if this was indeed, 2 years ago. Plus, the Sports video market really has nothing to put out there anymore, as I have a feeling that the younger sports fans are getting desensitized (I hope I spelled that right) by high ticket prices at stadiums and other factors to care anymore about professional sports.
And then, after jacking off over the #13 debut on the Billboard albums chart, WWE Anthology dropped all the way down to #51. That's very sad, especially considering that music hasn't released too many good albums lately. BIG F'N DEAL, WWE. The WWE is looking for anything to interpret as a "good thing", when their creative side of things is losing fans and dollars by the weeks. Instead of digging for saying something positive, why not ditch the creative team on RAW, get rid of the Big Show and EAT the 10 year contract like a man, and finally realize that Triple H isn't as great as he was in 2000 or even early 2001.
But hey, I guess the WWE still makes a profit at this day and time, and that's all that matters to lazy Vince McMahon at this juncture.
Time to review the most embarrassing wrestling show on television...
Our first match was the Dudley Boyz vs. the 3 Minute Warning. Tag Team Greatness versus Tag Team Sloppiness. The teams tried to whip out a hot tag opener for the crowd here, but when the Samoans can't perform as they were hyped up to perform coming from HWA, it gets really hard to put on a great match here. Gotta love how Rico continues to be their manager, thus proving how long the ladder of mobility is in the WWE. Jim Cornette and all of the WWE developmental agents thought the world of Rico, but what did the dickheads of the main WWE do? Made Rico a homosexual manager for Billy and Chuck, and now 3 Minute Warning. Two teams with promise at one time, but slowly becoming jobber tag teams. And the funny thing is that nobody is thinking about taking Rico away from the 3 Minute Warning. Heaven forbid that a talented wrestler be allowed to shine in the WWE! Dudleys won the match.
Ah yes, Morley and Bischoff set up a #1 Contender's match between Triple H and Rob Van Dam, with a "special" guest referee. At this point, you can easily predict who the referee would be, BUT that doesn't matter. Even the most inbred wrestling fan can predict the winner of the Main Event between Triple H and Rob Van Dam, especially with a #1 contendership on the line. Why? Because Triple H is always in the main event and we saw Rob Van Dam vs. Shawn Michaels last week, so why do it again in the immediate future? Making the show THIS predictable will make fans leave in a hurry, especially if they know it's another example of how nobody but Triple H matters on the RAW brand.
Next match was Trish Stratus vs. Ivory. Yay, this is our first of TWO women's matches. As if that division wasn't sucking week by week, we get twice the dosage of it this week! The match was two women trying to put on a technical match, but failing miserably as Monday Night Football soon became important and as the crowd clearly didn't care to watch this. But hey, let's do MORE of it next week and MORE of it on the Pay Per View.
Next, it was William Regal/Lance Storm vs. Jeff Hardy/Tommy Dreamer. Regal and Storm's tag push is pathetic, as they are going through a number of random teams without any purpose. Looks like Jeff Hardy is feeling the depush lately, teaming up with a former ECW wrestler to go up against a heatless heel team. It's a shame, yes, but years of getting squashed will unmotivate you to care anymore. Can you say BORING?!? Storm and Regal win again, much to my yawns.
The Hurricane really hasn't amounted to much on the RAW brand, has he? Batista made quick work of the superhero, and afterward, Kane ran in to make the save. I do like how the WWE has Flair helping out with Batista, but I fear the same BS things will happen to Batista to hold him down. OH WAIT, things are already happening that way. After building him like a monster, he has to cheat badly to beat Kane last week. And in the locker room lately, there's talk of Batista getting cocky about his newfound push. I hope and pray that the WWE will just let Batista shine without having to handcuff him, like all of the other up and coming superstars lately.
HBK was announced as the "special guest referee". Again, if you couldn't predict that, you are a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
Next, we had a glipse of good stuff between Chris Jericho and Booker T. They had a good match going on, and then interference from Christian and later Goldust would end this match. D'oh! It was developing quite nicely. So "Chief" Morley comes down, as if placing a new gimmick name in front of Morley will help get his new angle over. He declares that this match be turned into a Tag Match for the World Tag Team titles...
So we get another match that was developing nicely. ARE YOU LOOKING?? ARE YOU LOOKING?? The combinations of Booker T, Goldust, Chris Jericho, and even Christian are putting out some good in ring material this week. Duh, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that the team of Booker T and Goldust are still over with the crowds and that all 4 performers can work a good match. But hey, gotta keep the same old farts on top because elevation creates a better future for the company. Can't have that. The match should have had Booker T and Goldust FINALLY winning the belts, but it didn't. Of course, this grand opportunity to have your most over tag team winning the belts was blown several months ago when the WWE refused to let them beat the Unamericans on several accounts. Failure to see possible easy money only keeps digging the WWE into the hole they've created for themselves.
Next, we had our second Women's match of the night between Jackie and Victoria. Jackie can't even get over as the hometown wrestler, even when she beats the Women's champion in a non-title match. So pathetic. Neither woman, especially Jackie, deserves to be on RAW right now. Get this whole division off of RAW and NOW!
Still in the ring and Steven Richards embraces Victoria for her unfortunate job to Jackie. Scott Steiner would hit the ring and hit on Victoria. You know, Victoria has the look to be a great valet for Steiner, looking a lot like his old WCW valet (Midajah, if I spelled that one right). Putting her with Steiner would help her greatly, but keeping her with the underappreciated Richards will continue to hurt her. Steiner would then pound on Richards, which would prompt Eric Bischoff to make a proposition to Steiner. Bischoff had several strippers posing as freaks in the back for Steiner, but Steiner had an even bigger, and I mean bigger freak waiting for him in the limo. It was Stephanie McMahon. Well, I see Steiner's point there, as Stephanie has something "extra" to give Bischoff. But who the hell would want Triple H's sloppy seconds?!?
Still don't care about RNN.
Our predictable main event was Triple H vs. Rob Van Dam. Not a very good match here because TRIPLE H CAN'T WORK HERE IN THE YEAR 2002!!! Plus, Rob Van Dam is nothing more but a repetitive spot machine himself, but at least he can be carried to look good in 2002. Ask Eddie Guerrero, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle, or Chris Benoit. Triple H won the match, happy happy joy joy, and then brawls with Shawn Michaels afterward. The Armageddon buyrate is going to be so pathetic.
LAST WORD: So much wrong with this show... 3 Minute Warning are too sloppy and careless to keep on television. 2 Women's matches on one television show is an absolute joke. Not everyone can use 2 bathroom breaks. It continues to be sad to see Booker T and Goldust wasted before our eyes, but what's even worse is how the best performers in the tag match aren't allowed to get close to the main event scene. Storm and Regal are boring. Batista's legs will soon get cut from underneath of him. Finally, you were minus a brain if you thought Rob Van Dam was actually going to beat Triple H in a #1 Contender's match. Hell, you're minus a brain if you thought the match could be exciting or worthwhile to watch. I'm giving this show a [ D+ ] (D Plus). I thought the Jericho/Booker T and then into the tag match had some good work in it, but the finishes to that and the other matches, along with the rest of the card not having any watchable matches, makes the grade a D+ in my book. Sadly, I see no hope of improvement of the RAW brand, and doing Wrath of Titos for just Smackdown reviews might not be a bad thing.
Check out the Valley Wrestling Federation and Willygoat Xtreme Wrestling. Two great backyard feds.
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@I might be back for a Smackdown review on Friday. Don't know yet...
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.