Welcome to the column that's a dish best served cold, the Wrath of Tito! Today, we'll discuss various topics. No, a full blown RAW review isn't happening. I actually caught most of RAW, but I won't fully dedicate this column to the show. It doesn't deserve a full review from yours truly. Until they get good writers and good wrestling, I'm not going to give it my full concentration.
-Speaking of writing... Smackdown came in at a 3.7 rating last week. That's pretty good and tops the ratings for 2003. Was it just me or was the show written differently? You could argue that since Stephanie is on her honeymoon with Triple H, that the writing became instantly better! I'd argue that. The show was one of the best Pay Per View hype shows in a long time. It somewhat made you want to see Team Angle vs. Team Lesnar. Matt Morgan, I felt, made a devastating impact with the sitdown powerbomb. I hope OVW has trained Matt Morgan well. It seems to be a more exciting Survivor Series match-up than the RAW one, which is filled up with stale characters.
-Speaking of Matt Morgan and Nathan Jones... It would be a great idea to market them as a tag team. Maybe Skyscrapers 2003? If you watched WCW back in the day, Danny Spivey and Sid Vicious, were a big "hoss" tag team. They'd powerbomb you to death, just like Jones and Morgan did to Benoit and Angle on Thursday. Why not? I think it would work and it wouldn't expose the two for the lack in-ring experience they lack. The WWE owns the naming rights through buying WCW... I think it could work?
-And while I'm on the subject of hosses, I'd suggest instantly sending John Heidenreich back down to Ohio Valley Wrestling. Last night on RAW, Heidenreich hit Steven Richards with his stiff and sloppy finisher and caused Richards to re-aggrivate an old injury from his ECW days. There is no need for this. Richards busts his ass just to get on Monday Night RAW and he doesn't deserve to get injured by an inexperienced newcomer. It's bullshit, indeed, and you just know Heidenreich won't be punished for injuring Richards due to his size.
-Several readers have already approached me about the Stone Cold Steve Austin book. It's said that if you read RAW magazine, the one where Austin "shot" on the WWE, and have followed Austin closely, you'll learn nothing new from this book. Figures... could make a great Christmas gift, *hint**hint*, for anyone close to me who is reading. That's the big problem with WWE filtered books. They lack the true insides or thoughts of what the wrestlers are feeling. Only the Hardys and Mick Foley were allowed to express their true thoughts or feelings on their careers in a WWE book, whereas everyone with else, it was like reading it through another person.
-My thoughts on MONDAY NIGHT RAW.... The opening tag bout between Christian/Chris Jericho vs. Booker T/RVD was pretty good. The WWE seems to somewhat "get it" when putting their best talent into tag team bouts every week. Yet none of these guys have tag titles. Who are the RAW tag champs, anyway? Still the Dudleys? Fuck if I know. Batista has "overrated" written all over him. Jesus, he's just all size and nothing else. He demolished Maven with the same old power moves. The only worthy OVW guys are all over on Smackdown in Lesnar, Benjamin, Cena, and Haas. The team of Jindrak and Cade are growing on me. Are they faces or heels? They act like both. They need a team name and same tights to market themselves better, though, and it seems as though Jindrak is told to hold back on his aerial moves (much like O'Haire was on Smackdown). It has to be hard to work with the Dudleys, the most stale tag team in the WWE right now.
Why does the WWE always do the contract signing segment? Can't they think of better ideas? It goes to show you that Vince thinks one ways AND the writing team is full of a bunch of guys who can't come up with great ideas. Let's do an arm wrestling match next week? Why not? Can Lance Storm beat someone more important than Rico? The WWE has destroyed Rico over the years, insomuch that a win over Rico means nothing. Storm works hard to be where he is, and the WWE has no respect for him. Such a shame... The mixed tag sucked... Again, Heidenreich is too dangerous to have in the ring. Steven Richards doesn't deserve to get hurt the way he did last night. Gotta love how Shawn Michaels tried extremely hard to carry Mark Henry. Why is it that HBK can pin Mark Henry, but the RAW World Champion, Bill Goldberg, was not allowed? It's no conspiracy, it's true that the WWE purposely wants Bill Goldberg to fail despite spending $2 million plus incentives. It seriously makes no sense to me.
Speaking of Bill Goldberg, he ran in after Batista and challenged Batista to a match for RAW next week. Oh man, that has worst match of the year written all over it! It's safe to say that Batista is just as bad of a wrestler or even worse than Bill Goldberg. You'd figure that Batista has more fundamentals than Goldberg, but he seriously doesn't. RAW was still plagued by the same old problems. Wrong guys getting pushed, poor writing, and a general lack of watchable wrestling. And just think, Triple H is coming back to wrestle and he's going to get his World Title back around his waist. Can't wait! You see why I casually watch RAW now? By the way, some parts of RAW were hard to watch with the Matrix over on TBS and a great Monday Night Football game on between the Patriots and Broncos. Speaking of the Matrix, I hope to see Revolutions tomorrow.
-The WWE told Rikishi to lose weight? It took this long to ask him?
-People need to give it up with regards to the Undertaker returns as the "Dead Man" bullcrap. What makes a difference, first off, if he returns that way? The Dead Man wasn't a great world champion in 1997, and his main event programs, alone, didn't draw fans in during the mid 1990's. Besides, you could give the Undertaker any kind of gimmick, but the fact remains is that his body is broken down and can't perform at a high level always. Yeah, he can whip out a few good performances, but not for the most part.
-I should be back on Friday with my Smackdown review. I still care enough to review that show, but NOT RAW. Besides, I really like the commentary of Tazz and Michael Cole. They have the enthusiasm that Lawler and Ross wish they could bring to a show. You don't see the WWE trying out Coachman on Smackdown, now do you?
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@That's all for today's column. Just chill till the next episode....