Ah yes, nothing like writing a column out of boredom. It's Halloween, and I've got to stay around the campus because I must attend a stupid seminar for my major tomorrow. *YAWN* So with nothing to do, I figured, why not do another Wrath of Tito column this week. Plus, I figured I'd review a REAL wrestling show, WWE Smackdown!
You know, I never imagined how bored I'd become late at night when the Major League Baseball playoffs were over. Hell, I was starting to enjoy staying up until 1:00 am to see the end of a baseball game. Too bad the NHL (aside from the Penguins) and the NBA can't give me that excitement this time of year. NBA and NHL are fun to watch during the playoffs, especially the NHL, but you know, I'll have to wait until late spring for that. Too bad the NFL only plays 2 days a week...
Monday Night RAW did a 3.5 or a 3.4 rating, depending on who you ask. Either way, it's a significant drop from last week's rating, which I believe was 3.7. It's a CLEAR SIGN that seeing Necrophilia on a wrestling show is turning some people off. Therefore, to stop that from being MORE people, the WWE must stop the bullshit and push for getting wrestlers over, not angles such as insisting that someone is a murderer/necrophiliac/drunk driver. I'm actually happy about the lower rating because I feel RAW badly needs some help, given that poor attempt to recreate shock value from 1998 and 1999, along with its usual assortment of stale wrestlers and whatnot.
But Smackdown is a fresh, fun show. WWE has gems in Rey Mysterio, Chris Benoit, the Guerreros, Edge, and Kurt Angle. I do worry that one of them will be sent to RAW sometime soon to be a part of that "package" that Bischoff hinted at on Monday Night. Why? Why break them up? Why do anything to Smackdown that would cause that show to decrease in the ratings, too? If you didn't notice, Smackdown's ratings have actually increased lately, especially last week when it posted some good numbers against the World Series. It makes me wonder why the WWE makes stupid moves by sending ratings killers like the Undertaker or the Big Show on over to Smackdown. Especially the Big Show, who has yet to decide if he's a face or a heel each week.
I will seriously laugh if Vince Russo, now rumored to be reportedly gone from NWA-TNA, will join the WWE again. As you know, he was about to enter the WWE as a writer again, but then decided to join NWA-TNA, seeing how the WWE's creative department has changed so much over the years. Russo probably wanted the amount of power he had in the WWE before he left, but wasn't allowed it, probably given that Stephanie McMahon has pretty much assumed his role as head of the creative team.
Time to review a GOOD television show, as opposed to the joke that's called Monday Night RAW. I'll discuss Tough Enough 3 on Monday's column, given that here in school, Smackdown comes on at 10:00 on a WB/UPN combination station. By the way, it's also very hard to watch Smackdown with a Friday the 13th Marathon going on at TNN. Bravo to TNN for this. It looks like I gotta stay up all night for this fun.
On to the Wrath!
BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!!! UHHHH!!!
The show looked good on paper, well, at least 3 of the matches I should say.
Edge vs. Chris Benoit was the first match. Ah yes, that's as good of a hot opener as you can pick. Benoit and Edge have never had a big time feud with each other, making me wonder when that's coming. I bet they could put on some awesome Pay Per View matches. Benoit for president! Nice knee move by Edge, as he picked up Benoit and dropped him over the knee. Those chops are so brutal by Benoit. I wonder if wrestlers receive bonuses for every Benoit chop they receive? Edge has his right hand taped up for some reason? Sprained wrist or have I not noticed that Edge now tapes that hand? You know what I miss from Benoit? The Snap Suplex. I haven't seen him whip that out for a while. Benoit is working on the shoulder like nobody else can, as Edge sells it like he's dying. I can remember when Edge and Christian added words to Benoit's old WWE theme. Ah, those were some funny times. Fuck yeah!! There's the Snap Suplex! Ok, you know what I miss from Benoit? The MULTIPLE Snap Suplexes. Edge is taking a good beating in this match. Nice X-Factor off the top rope by Edge. Damn commercials... oh wait, back to Friday the 13th!!! Back here... Ah yes, the Multiple German Suplexes. Those are so good that a great wrestler, like Kurt Angle, even borrows those. Michael Cole said: "two of the best superstars in the WWE today". Then the WWE should treat them like the best instead of constantly pushing the Big Show. Good stuff with Edge missing the spear and Benoit slapping on the Crossface. Angle comes out, given that Benoit/Angle have a great rivalry and they don't need necrophilia to tell their story of hatred between them. And some people say RAW has better storylines... HA! Edge pulled out the win. Quite a match and a great hot opener for this week's show. See, good stuff like this is what *I* want to see and not the BS with Monday Night RAW.
Backstage, John Cena tries to rap... actually, he does a good job to his credit. Chuck Palumbo is dressed as one of the Village People backstage. HOLY MAE YOUNG and MOOLAH SIGHTING! I wonder who is under that bear suit with the cape? Torrie/Dawn Marie looked quite hot in their get-ups.
Backstage, Paul Heyman gets under Brock's skin. You know, I have a feeling that Heyman is going to leave Lesnar for the Big Show to create a rematch of Big Show vs. Lesnar at Armageddon 2002. I sense that Lesnar would do alright on his own, and plus, he may be turned face, officially, soon. At least that's what it appears to me.
Big Show vs. Rikishi... Can that ring support the mounds of fat? Big Show has street clothes to keep on changing his look. Again, you can polish a turd, but in the end, it will still be a turd. At least with the street clothes and clean shaving, the Big Show does look like a large and vicious individual instead of a tall slob. Give him that. Quick destruction of Rikishi, making me question what Rikishi's worth is today. Anybody else, Rikishi has to be cheated against to lose, but the Big Show just walked through him.
Watching the Friday the 13th marathon, I can appreciate part 5 very much. With Jason being dead, 5 has an individual dressing up as Jason and killing everybody in sight. Aside from the ridiculous ending, it's one of the more realistic ones of the season. Many cases of copycat murderers have occurred over the years, and this one made sense with someone throwing on the famous hockey mask.
Big Show then calls on Brock Lesnar. It just drags, and drags... Vince McMahon is probably jacking it backstage, given how he LOVES matches between tall wrestlers. Lesnar comes out to address Big Show, and then Big Show walks off, saying he was "advised" not to fight Lesnar until Survivor Series. Could Heyman be the man who advised him? It looks it.
I marked out when I heard Gangrel's theme for the Anthology commercial. I admit it. God, I love that theme!
Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson in a Trick or Treat match, also a bowl o' chocolate match. We've had pudding, gravy, mud, and now chocolate. How innovative of the WWE. They should just have the ladies take off all of their clothes and stop bothering to waste our time with stupid gimmick matches. That simple. I'd be PISSED off if my scheduled match had me wrestling in chocolate. I'm sure those ladies just roll their eyes when they see some of the ridiculous things they have to do, but hey, they are contracted to do whatever the WWE wants them to do. Do they complain? Nope. Devastating suplex in the chocolate! Chops everywhere! The ladies looked good, but the WWE badly needs to come up with new ideas concerning their T&A.
Is that the Sasquatch in the background? Backstage at the Halloween party, Matt Hardy arrives. Some people mark out for Hardy's new "Mattitude" gimmick, but I still see the same old Matt Hardy behind the attempted gimmick. You gotta love how Mae Young will do the most ridiculous things on WWE television whenever she's there. Gotta admire how willing she is for the WWE's sick, sick needs.
Cena to RAW? Possibly.......
Matt Hardy vs. Tajiri is up next. It's kinda hard to give Tajiri a chance of winning in this match, given that he can't win the Cruiserweight title. I appreciate the effort Matt puts into his character, but a makeover would do him some good. Maybe actually force him to wear tights or wrestle without a shirt to look like a real wrestler? Not that I want to see any guy in tights or without a shirt... Nice move that looked like a sidewalk slam but had an elbow in it by Matt Hardy. You can tell which matches the WWE cares about when the Ticket Sale announcements are scrolling down at the bottom. Heaven forbid we do this during the Rikishi vs. Big Show match! Tajiri is hitting some good kicks in this match. After a low blow, Matt Hardy wins the match. Good little midcard match there. It was given a decent amount of time, too.
Eric Bischoff is underneath a Vince McMahon mask, and reveals himself to Stephanie. Then Bischoff blocks a slap and kisses Stephanie. However, after a while, she somewhat gives into the kissing. Bizarre. I don't know where that will lead, but it's somewhat interesting to say the least.
Kurt Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero... Another match that could be a killer Pay Per View match. WWE is giving us some goodies for Halloween tonight. Both guys have given Edge his best matches of his career, with Benoit now in that class as well. Nice pace here to the match, with restholds being properly used to transition into other moves. Nasty back suplext by Angle on Guerrero! Ouch! Nice counter pin by Guerrero when almost getting Angle-slammed. Nice DDT, too. Some nice counters in this match. After some interference by Chavo and Benoit, Eddie wins the match. See, it's easy to keep the heat between the Guerreros and Benoit/Angle, while having a feud between Angle and Benoit. Easy storylines to produce here. Nice match between Eddie and Angle.
Friday the 13th part 6 on TNN as I watch Smackdown. Gotta love how the lightning bolt brings back Jason. Hey, I'm not complaining because it allowed for many more Friday the 13th movies, ones that were more comedic than ever before! I laugh my ass off every time I watch part 8, especially when Jason is on the roof with the boxer. QUALITY stuff. With Jason X, all I gotta say is two words: sleeping bags.
Backstage, Angle is pissed off about Benoit and tosses Shannon Moore over the table. BROTHER LOVE!! YESSSSSSSSS! We now get a nice brawl between Benoit and Angle. They took some manly shots back there. It's that easy to set up a good feud.
I LOVE Rey Mysterio's entrance. It will get you pumped for anything. He's fighting Brock Lesnar, which should be a very interesting contrast of styles. I was happy when I read this match was going to be on Smackdown tonight. Ohhhh, painful shot to the post that Rey took. Ouch! This was turning into a fun match until Big Show threw Mysterio into the crowd. Yep, Heyman is writing this show. Bam Bam used to throw Spike into the crowd in ECW. Big Show struggled to get Lesnar up and does the repeated table spot. Well, it's not that bad though and Big Show doesn't appear to be that bad of an opponent for Lesnar. I've seen worse.
LAST WORD: Had the main event gone longer and the Torrie/Dawn gimmick wasn't repetitive, we'd be looking at an A+ show. Instead, I'll grade this an [ A ] (A). Benoit/Edge and Angle/Guerrero were damn good television matches, and Tajiri vs. Matt Hardy was surprisingly good. Main Event went too short, I thought, but what can you do? See, this is the type of wrestling show I like to see. The Storylines are better, the wrestlers aren't stale. Hell, even the Big Show is shaping up to be better than what he was before, although he's still the Big Show in the end. People bitch at me for being "negative" while they don't realize how much I enjoy watching Smackdown every week.
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