I caught Jackass: the Movie over the weekend. FANTASTIC! I'm a big fan of the television show, as I have a sick appetite for people hurting themselves on stupid stunts. In fact, everyone laughs when someone does something stupid or gets hurt from doing the dumbest things. Many movie critics are killing Jackass for being the "downfall of society". I concur. People just need a good laugh every once and a while, and guys like Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, Bam, and the others are willing to put their bodies and life on the line for a completely different brand of entertainment. I haven't laughed this hard during a movie in a long time, and I thank the individuals for nearly killing themselves for my entertainment. I'm sure the $22 Million in ticket revenues agrees with that.
Congrats to the Anaheim Angels for winning the 2002 World Series. It was quite a series this year, as you never knew who would win each game. Christ, the Giants had the Angels beat in game 6 with a 5-0 lead, but blew it to allow a game 7. I have to wonder, though, what Dusty Baker was thinking in Game 7 of the World Series. Why did he start Livan Hernandez, a 16 game loser in the regular season. Sure, he's had some hot games in the World Series, but that was 1997. Welcome to 2002, and Hernandez is hardly the pitcher he was back then. What's even worse is that the Giants brought out Kirk Reuter out of the bullpen, and he looked to be pitching well in his time at relief. Of course, the Giants offense didn't hold up, but when your starting pitcher gives up 4 runs by the 2nd or 3rd inning, it discourages you or makes you try too hard. I would have either started Reuter or went with Schmidt on a few days rest instead of ever considering Hernandez.
Finally, before we actually talk about wrestling, I'm glad to see that the NHL has taken steps to give penalties to defenses who hold offensive players before they are able to even get into a play. Hence, the fact that Mario Lemieux is putting up some great numbers this season. He's one of the best of all time, yet defenders could only use crap tactics like hooking or clutching Mario when he was about to get into a play. Now, the NHL has wisened up, and Mario is showing why the Penguins of the 1990's could have been more dominant (aside from his injuries) and maybe win more cups than just 2.
On to the wrestling part of things... I'm honestly sick of Monday Night RAW now. One of the best RAWs in a while was the one in Las Vegas, where many gimmick matches occurred and it was headlined by the TLC match between the Dudleys, RVD/Jeff Hardy, and Kane/Hurricane. Solid main event for television, and then it went quickly downhill the second Triple H showed up and called Kane a "Murderer". The next week of television got worse when Kane's poor mic skills couldn't explain the situation, and then Triple H called Kane a "drunk driver" and a "necrophiliac". Last week, it became absolutely pathetic and humiliating/embarrassing to be a wrestling fan when Triple H acted like Kane, screwing a mannequin in a coffin, acting like it was Kane's old flame, Katie Vick.
It's total garbage. The funny thing is that the McMahon's LOVE what they are doing right now. They think it's quality entertainment, although they'll soon find out that wrestling fans will leave by the numbers, if they aren't already, after being disgusted by what the WWE is attempting. I like how the WWE tried to justify this act like it was something that shows like CSI or other shows. This is hardly the case, as the WWE is about setting up storylines to create a competition over storylines. Having acts like making Triple H into a complete bastard won't do, especially when everybody knows his character won't lose in the end.
And I love the part about how this segment was the highest part of RAW with a 4.0 rating. Big deal. I'm sure many people caught a glimpse of it when they were flipping around, seeing how a man in a mask was feeling up a mannequin in a coffin, and eventually "fucking its brains out". I hope this week's RAW gets a low rating. This is NOT because I want the WWE to fail, overall, but just to prove that the McMahons are wrong on what the viewers want. They want well thought out storylines, good matches, and a fun rollercoaster ride that they'll want to get back on every week. Necrophilia is NOT the answer, as is any stupid storyline attempt the WWE tries in humiliating Triple H's opponents.
I'm excited about the signing of Scott Steiner. Hey, it's a fresh face, albeit an old and injury prone one. My belief about Steiner is that he goes crazy in a bad situation, like the 1990's WWE or 1999-2000 WCW, but when it comes to a successful organization, he'll remain happy with his settings and work well with others. His heel character is badly needed on WWE television, although my fears are if he's on RAW, he'll have to be a heel along the side of Triple H. Triple H will be damned if a better heel is on HIS show.
With Steiner, the WWE has to find a way to keep him healthy. His character could work, but if he gets injuries, say on the house show circuit, the worth of signing him will be easily diminished. Maybe pampering Steiner would be good by keeping him OFF the houseshow circuit, or at least put him in matches that won't put him in a position to get hurt. Like maybe throw lesser names at him in very short matches, etc.
But I'm excited to see the WWE sign him, as it's something new from the many stale faces on WWE television right now, especially RAW. This is one of the last few trump cards the WWE could use right now. First, it was the WCW invasion. Secondly, it was Ric Flair. Then it was Hulk Hogan, Scott Hall, and Kevin Nash (the NWO). Finally, it was Eric Bischoff joining RAW as the general manager. All had short term positives, but in the long run, like over 2 months, the WWE failed to capitalize on the opportunity (or had freak injuries, like Nash's heaven sent injuries). It's time the WWE starts to plan their stories out with the newer characters OR not purposely set them up to fail to stroke Vince McMahon's ego, much like the WCW invasion. It's only millions of dollars we are talking about here, nothing more.
What other TRUMP CARDS are left? An obvious one is Bill Goldberg, but it seems very unlikely at this point. Other than that, I can't honestly think of any big impacting moves the WWE could do right now. Of course, I'd LOVE to see the WWE bring in Sting, but that's a personal preference, and probably not the needs of the majority. (I'd love to see Sting sign a one date deal with the WWE for Royal Rumble 2003) Many other WCW guys wouldn't work out, such as Buff Bagwell or Lex Luger, and the remaining ECW talent that's out there isn't worth bringing in these days. So basically, the WWE is left to either steal whatever is hot out on the independent circuit or develop their own talent through OVW. The OVW option is the better one to create new stars for people to love.
But let's see here... Rico was made into a manager. John Cena had a great face push coming in, but he wasn't able to get a quick victory to "make" him as a star. He was then depushed after beating Jericho on a Pay Per View and he's now trying to be a heel. Randy Orton.. HA! Such a dry character, as he didn't catch on well for Smackdown and is now going to try a heel turn on RAW. Rocky Miavia, he is not. Batista came in with one of the lamest characters in WWE history, and it only served to hold this guy down. Hopefully, he can be repushed on RAW as the character or impact player he can be. I think that Brock Lesnar is working great, though, but he's getting dicked over by WWE veterans, such as the Undertaker. The Undertaker used the excuse of being old, injured, and in emotional pain from mind games to lose to Lesnar, the Undisputed champion.
Amazing, isn't it? The WWE political system is out to screw everyone, just as Triple H is screwing Stephanie to ruin the company. You watch, Lesnar's Undisputed title reign will become embarrassing with the more ridiculous opponent's he's given (the fucking Big Show?!?) and if Scott Steiner is in fact on RAW, look for Steiner to be aligned with Triple H, much like Austin was aligned with Triple H in 2001. Remember that? Triple H was able to hold back Austin from being a heel by making him somewhat of a flunkie under Triple H.
Isn't it amazing how the WWE is getting ruined by simply one man (Triple H) having sex with one woman (Stephanie)?
WWE SMACKDOWN was pretty good this week. As I keep insisting, all you need is Mysterio, the Guerreros, Angle, Benoit, and Edge to wrestle ANYBODY on that show, and it will be at LEAST decent. They are that good, and I fear with the recent trade of the Big Show to Smackdown that one of those great players will be shuffled down to RAW. You know, the McMahons can't let Paul Heyman's vision (he writes Smackdown) become more successful than the show that Stephanie and Vince personally prefer. Oh, it can't happen. I do find it hilarious that despite the many positive reviews of Smackdown that occur every week, the WWE keeps trying to ruin the show (the Big Show and Undertaker) from becoming a large success based off of great workrate wrestlers or newer stars.
That was great of the WWE to bring back Rikishi's piledriver finisher. It's about damn time! Losing that finisher greatly hurt him from being an effective wrestler to becoming a stupid, fat sumo wrestler that we were seeing. Funny segment with Stephanie-Benoit-Angle. Solid Cruiserweight match between Tajiri and Noble, a second good match in a row from those two. Very good tag team match between Guerreros and Mysterio/Edge. All 4 individuals have been incredible in the ring lately, but yet will they receive the recognition that they deserve? No. Mysterio has really blossomed into a star in the WWE.
The speech the Undertaker gave to Brock was such a joke. "5 years ago, I would have kicked your ass". "The broken arm is not an excuse". And he would say that he played great mind games to finally win the match. What a joke. Gotta love how the WWE can always find ways to diminish young stars from ever getting the main event rub from the veterans. Brock will now face the Big Show, probably at Survivor Series. *YAWN* At least they are trying to improve Big Show's look, as they trimmed his facial hair and gave him a haircut. It's an effort, but will the Big Show give his own personal effort in the ring to make something look watchable in the WWE? Of course not. He's a fat turd no matter how much you try to polish that turd.
John Cena vs. Billy Kidman, again, wasn't a bad match, but the two are badly lacking some crowd heat right now. After Kidman cheated to win, it becomes even harder to establish who is the heel in that feud. Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle was damn good, as expected. Those 2 are the absolute best the WWE has to offer right now in terms of in ring work, with Eddie Guerrero just right behind them. And again, do they get any credit for the great work they do in the ring? No. The Big Show gets pushed to Lesnar before they do, although Angle is being saved for his eventual big feud with Lesnar. I'll give the show a [ B ], but it comes from a few really good matches and some crap in between. Still, the superior show of the WWE, and Edge, the Guerreros, Rey Mysterio, Chris Benoit, and Kurt Angle rule all.
As for Tough Enough 3, the WWE is doing good things with that show, early on. GREAT STUFF with the Tough Enough staff having Jill sit in front of everyone after she quit. The contestants spoke their mind, as did Big, who let her know that she quit when 7 other people could have had her spot. I really like that new feature of Tough Enough. The training seems to be more intense than it was from Season 2. I thought Season 2's wrestlers were pampered. TE 3's contestants are truly going to see if they are "tough enough" or not. Scott is going to bust. He has the mind of a child and doesn't seem to be a good athlete, either, to learn how to become a wrestler. He seems to be a few sandwiches short of a picnic...
As for this introduction, I'm out like a fat girl in dodgeball! (Jaymz, I told you I'd say it!) On to the RAW review!
Triple H, the big stupid egomaniac, comes out to lose even more viewers to Monday Night Football. He doesn't even need to use a sleeper hold on me to put me to sleep! Triple H says he got out of the trunk by using the child-safety opener from Kane's car. Wow, so much for that intrigue throughout the week. Triple H said he had Katie Vick as a guest this week, as she's apparently in the coffin. Another mannequin, yippee. Triple H used many stupid jokes, like "dead tired" and "close your legs". How lame. Triple H then used the same voice he used to marry Stephanie at the drive thru wedding chapel. This is going no where, with many lame attempts at comedy by Triple H. "If you were seriously offended, I don't give a damn. If you don't like it, you can kiss my ass. I'll do what I want to do when I want to do it". That's what Triple H said, and it couldn't be further from the truth. Hurricane comes out to make sure Triple H has someone to beat up tonight.
Hurricane then uses reverse psychology by having fake footage of Triple H getting stuff pulled out of his face. The Triple H mask on the patient is priceless. A hand? Weird choice of objects coming out of the fake Triple H's ass. Triple H then goes off on the mannequin, and Kane would run down and go after Triple H. Eric Bischoff would then order WWE officials to break the feud after security failed. That makes sense. So much for good security these days. WWE jobbers and Road Agents, like freakin' Terry Taylor, come out to break the fight up. Triple H vs. Kane in a Casket Match was announced. You know, with the casket being ringside, I was actually hoping that they'd set up a match like that for tonight. Having Kane win the match would be a helpful thing, as you'd add the suspense of someone actually winning the World title on free TV.
F-View? Man, nothing like recycling G-TV. I guess Trish Stratus has some sort of love interest now?
Tommy Dreamer/Rob Van Dam vs. William Regal/Lance Storm was our first match. Regal ripped on the Detroit crowd with hints of the Sniper shootings. Can the WWE writers sink any more lower? There are other ways to achieve crowd heat than the way the WWE tries with non-United States wrestlers. Regal always kills RVD with that half-nelson suplex. Eh, somewhat of a boring tag match. Nice of the WWE to keep pushing Rob Van Dam after fighting Triple H. Oh wait...
I don't think Rosie, Jamal, or Rico's careers will be worth anything after the match against the Big Show last week.
Test has Testicles? Oh my. At least he has those, as opposed to teeth, which I'm surprised haven't fallen out by now.
Dudleys versus Chris Jericho/Christian WAS up next. Jamal, Rico, and Rosie attacked the Dudleys before their match. HA! As if that will erase their loss against the Big Show...
Test vs. Goldust. "I just want to say 'hi' to all of my Testicles". I'll admit, that's pretty funny. It's that cheap laugh like Scotty Anton having the "clap" in ECW. Instead of making a signing meaningful, Jim Ross announced that the WWE signed Scott Steiner during this match. I'm assuming Steiner's entrance may be a very slow build before he finally arrives. Funny stuff with Goldust setting up Test and Stacy for the Shattered Dreams. Get Test some new music if you're going to push a new gimmick.
Due to Spike getting hurt by Rosie, Jamal, and Rico, Bischoff said that Bubba could find another partner. Oh for heaven's sakes, let D'Von be the man that Smackdown traded for the Big Show! That's as even of a trade as you can get.
Scott Steiner promo shown. Excellent. Big Poppa Pump on RAW could conflict with Batista, who is also being pushed as a genetic freak.
RNN? OVW failure Randy Orton had a promo, who cares?
Chris Jericho/Christian vs. Bubba Ray Dudley and a mystery partner was next... The mystery partner was Jeff Hardy. Oh my gosh, how lame. Jeff looks like garbage with the stupid looking boots, pain on the left arm, and very dirty looking hair. He's just letting himself go... Those Bubba chops are so brutal. Sloppy tag match, with no real flow. Jericho and Christian tried to bring back the conchairto. I remember when that was a very vicious and feared move when Edge and Christian were such great heels. Rosie and Jamal come down to clusterfuck things, and we go to commercial. Back to Monday Night Football the fans go. After the Rosie and Jamal interference, the tone of the match was slowed down significantly, to the good old "face in peril" format. It ALWAYS works. Nice baseball slide on Bubba. Crowd is into it, although I'm not. Jeff is in very poor physical condition right now. The Island Boys and Rico torture Spike to distract Bubba, and that allows Jericho/Christian to get the win. I'm hoping the Dudleys vs. Rosie/Jamal feud leads to the return of the Dudley Boyz with D'Von.
Triple H did a promo about Kane wanting to "screw" him last week. Funny how Triple H can cut a "cool heel" promo to make a face look bad. Talks about Shawn Michaels, which gets attention off of Kane. The "F-View" is shown again, and Triple H admits he's worried about HBK and talks to Ric Flair who it out somewhere.
That Sour Starburst commercial makes me laugh every time.
Christopher Nowinski and Al Snow talk backstage. Snow cuts a promo on him, saying he looks out for Nowinski and he made the right decision in Maven. Nowinski says his entry into the WWE was on his own, and then challenges Al Snow to find him an opponent. Ok..
Eric Bischoff came out. He mentioned Scott Steiner and said there was an "assortment of talent coming" for the trade with the Big Show. Bischoff revealed that he was the one behind "F-View" television. Get it??? F-You = F-View. Boy, that's sooooo funny. Bischoff will tell us next week, officially, about the Elimination chamber. It will be a mixture of the Survivor Series, Royal Rumble, and his own personal favorite, War Games. Sweet! His competitors, 6 of them, will be Triple H, Kane, Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Chris Jericho, and Shawn Michaels. Wow, now that's some good suspense. It makes the Elimination chamber suddenly interesting instead of a pipedream. Booker T came out and intimidated Bischoff to get out of the ring for his next match.
Booker T vs. Christopher Nowinski was next. Not much of a match, and a Disqualification caused on Booker T. So much for naming Booker T as a member of that Elimination Chamber match for the World Title.
God damn, that Lil' Kim theme for Trish Stratus sucks so bad. Jackie comes out to no crowd heat. Usual. Molly Holly makes her return to RAW after a long absence, for whatever reason. Oh boy, a 3 way match. The crowd is so silent, you can hear some bum screaming in the front row. I liked the double Boston crab. Victoria looks on from backstage. Boring. This Women's division just isn't working. Time to end it, once and for all. Wow, that was a horrible 3 way match.
The WWE hyped 2 CD's coming out on November 12th: Saliva's new CD and the WWE Anthology. That's a hard sell to viewers, especially if it's expected that you should buy both, given that the WWE Anthology CD will probably be expensive.
Triple H vs. Kane in a Casket Match was next. Let's see if Triple H can pull a good match out of Kane here... These two have fought SOOOOOO many times in their career, yet they just haven't produced a barn burner. It goes to show you that someone backstage is missing some marbles and his name may be "Vince". I bet you that Kane hates getting into his tights before every match. Early on, this match is dragging some major ass. No suspense as they try to throw each other into the casket. Remember when Triple H was FUN to watch as a heel in 2000? All of a sudden, Shawn Michaels appeared in the casket and attacks Triple H. Wow, that improved the match, or at least gave it an extra spark for the end. Kane won the match, but was this non-title? I don't know if I heard it or not. I guess it wasn't a title match because Kane doesn't have the World Title in his hand, obviously.
LAST WORD: I don't know about this show. While it didn't have anything embarrassing this week, it just dragged. Someone needs to hold Triple H accountable for the lack of interest produced for his feuds, although it's his own fault for sabotaging his opponents with stupid angles or his "cool heel" promos. The rest of RAW featured the same old stale wrestlers, making me hope that the "fresh new faces" are good ones, although not any of the Guerreros, Angle, Edge, Lesnar, or Mysterio. I'll give this show a [ C- ] (C minus) for a show without any good matches and a lack of energy that most RAWs can't help but have lately. I hope Steiner comes on this show for at least someone fresh to be in a very stale environment.
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