So I was saying... rectum? Damn near killed 'em! Welcome to a very special edition of the WRATH OF TITO. The Royal Rumble has been traditionally one of my favorite Pay Per Views to watch, therefore, I felt compelled to write up some predictions for this show. While I thought last year's Rumble was a struggle (I gave it a C+), it seems that this year's Rumble will struggle as well or be surprisingly good. The line up just doesn't look as "stacked" as usual.
My hope is that the WWE does in fact bring back the likes of Steve Austin, the Rock, and Hulk Hogan for Wrestlemania, and then sign Bill Goldberg for a one night only deal. With a year of wanting to keep Triple H and his friends so strong at the top, while still not caring for the wrestlers who work hard, night in and night out and obviously putting on better matches each night as well, seeing some extra star power will increase my interest, especially if Goldberg shows. Austin's return will be good, given that I feel Vince McMahon would want to possibly perform a Montreal screwjob on Austin.
Oh well... I just finished Bobby Heenan's book on Friday, meaning that another book review will come soon. Given that I'll probably review the Rumble on Monday and review RAW on Tuesday, look for the review to be on Wednesday of this week, and if not, probably Thursday. Now, it's on to Jerry Lawler's book, which I'm actually 2 chapters in already. I'm a book reading machine!! I've got my eyeball on the Roddy Piper book, although I'm not motivated yet to buy it. My reading of Lawler could get interrupted if I get in Scott Keith's book as a review copy, as I'll go immediately to that and review it ASAP.
Speaking of Piper, what is this online feud with him and the Honky Tonk Man? Give it up guys, your chance to be a part of the WWE, again, passed you right by because of the personal and mental problems you constantly have. You are two washed up wrestlers who can only latch on to the popularity that Vince McMahon GAVE YOU in the 1980's. Just keep bitching online or maybe take your feud to a Pay Per View weekly special that nobody ever watches anyway.
Speaking of that, Piper will be back on NWA-TNA to maybe confront Vince Russo with another "shoot" promo. Oh lord. The continued ignorance on television by Russo clearly shows who was on a leash during the WWE's 1998-1999 run. We now have WCW, the WWA shows from Australia, and now NWA-TNA as 3 perfect examples of what an idiot Russo was and how he, himself, wasn't the reason for the WWE's major success in the late 1990's. And Piper will do anything for a payday.
Reports are surfacing that the WWE wasn't pleased with RAW X. Well, duh, the show wasn't even written up or prepared just DAYS before the show was to air live. Plus, the credibility of the show was very much flawed, as several awards were badly rigged and the lack of wrestlers/personalities from the past hurt the show as well. Mean Gene was hyped as a special guest, yet he's a host of a WWE show. Shane McMahon was as well, yet he's very much known to be a partial owner of the WWE. Ridiculous. When you hype a show for several weeks, yet months as well, you NEED to deliver. Don't half-ass it and make it be a letdown that will haunt you for the rest of 2003, which I have a feeling may happen...
I've seen an outcry from Ohio Valley Wrestling (OVW) fans about the wrestler Damaja not being featured in the 2003 Royal Rumble, despite somehow earning a spot on an OVW show a while back. What did you expect? The WWE has very protected spots, anyway, to let some outside WWE prospect have a spot in the rumble. You know, some shitty WWE midcarder has to have that Pay Per View payday. Heaven forbid that some of the people in the Rumble have given no effort to improve themselves or position in the WWE, but yet they are still in the Rumble. However, I'm for the argument that nobody in the Boston crowd will have any clue who the hell Damaja is or where he came from. Then again, some in the Boston crowd won't care for WWE roster wrestlers, either.
I watched a part of WWE Confidential, where wrestlers were comparing the Big Show to Andre the Giant. It was an overwhelming vote for Andre, obviously, given how Andre was so dominant in the ring and from Andre's experience. Andre hardly ever lost, but that's not the point. When Andre was in his prime, he was quite agile for his size. The Big Show was never trained properly as a wrestler to even take advantage of any athletic ability he's ever had. Plus, in terms of dollars, Andre put many asses in the seats, while the Big Show drags the product down while being in the main event.
The Rumble, itself, will be shortened with wrestlers coming in every minute instead of every 2 minutes. That's not THAT bad, as it could turn out to be a good thing, as the rush of wrestlers in that ring could create more chaos, thus making it more entertaining. Sometimes, that 2 minute interval can take forever, and 2 guys wrestle shamelessly before someone comes in. I have no problem with the time shortening.
My real problem is the delivery of a good match besides the Rumble. For one, we have Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar. My wish is that this is the end of the Big Show vs. Lesnar feud, as it's just not delivering the interest the WWE craves right now. Big Show is not a big shot for the money they want for the main event scene, anyway, despite how much lube Vince buys when jacking off to larger wrestlers.
Then, you have Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle. These two BADLY need to do something unique at the Rumble. They've wrestled 2937747474748 times, and some material within the match gets very repetitive, which can kill crowds at some parts of matches. They can't just go strictly on mat wrestling, which is what Angle wants. They need to get physical and give the crowd/buyers something brutal to remember. I'm not saying any hardcore stuff or massive bumps, I'm talking about just having a physical wrestling encounter, which is Benoit's specialty. They need to deliver something great here.
I have a bad feeling over Scott Steiner vs. Triple H. Triple H, on one hand, has a torn quad muscle, and I'm still convinced that he's not fully healthy from his original ripped quad muscle. Triple H's added muscle mass didn't help either, as he went from an energetic wrestler from 2000-2001, to a sucky and slow wrestler of 2002. Then, you have Scott Steiner who isn't in cardiovascular shape to wrestle. Sure, he LOOKS like he's in good shape, but I highly doubt Steiner takes time to maybe jog, work on the treadmill, or do the stairs. Add that to not wanting to work out in the ring, like say maybe going down to the OVW facilities and getting in ring shape. This match looks to be a BIG letdown.
On to the predictions...
Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson
How many Pay Per Views will these 2 wrestle at? Sure, they both look hot, but maybe just have a bikini contest instead of both women embarrassing themselves in the ring. What a terrible payoff this feud has had with Al Wilson "dying" and then getting his coffin knocked over. How can the WWE writers even think that this storyline is drawing any money? Shame on whomever, even if it's precious Paul Heyman, made this terrible storyline up. FINGER OF SHAME! Torrie will win, much like her other 204935484 matches against Dawn Marie.
Tito's Pick: Torrie Wilson
Dudleys vs. Team Boring (Storm and Regal) for the RAW Tag Titles
Funny how the GOOD tag team titles aren't even being defended on this Pay Per View. How anybody within the WWE can see Regal and Storm being a great heel team is beyond my imagination. Both are decent technical wrestlers, but as a team, they lack the charisma or just the look that makes you want to hate them. Weak tag team moves, too. I have a feeling that the WWE will screw us here with Regal and Storm retaining, much like the Unamericans beating Booker T/Goldust on a Pay Per View a few months back. Let's hope that Regal/Storm will just be a transitional team, but think about it... Who would the Dudleys wrestle if they won the titles? Good question, but the WWE doesn't think very far these days, so...
Tito's Pick: The Dudley Boys
Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar for a spot in the Royal Rumble
I believe that the Big Show's time is up as far as getting pushed is concerned. PLUS, remember who "put out" the Undertaker a few months ago? Remember who threw the Undertaker off the stage? Therefore, Lesnar will win, if not from the Undertaker's interference then it will come cleanly. Lesnar will enter and win the Royal Rumble, brother.
Tito's Pick: Brock Lesnar
Triple H vs. Scott Steiner for RAW World Title
I actually see the WWE extending this feud. I think the belief is that if Steiner was in better shape and if Triple H was healthier, they might present a watchable match. That's very hard to say, as the best I've seen Triple H since his comeback was from Summerslam 2002, when Shawn Michaels was bumping like the days of old. I liked Steiner's work with Booker T, but let's not forget that was 2 freakin' years ago! This could be painful to watch. I'll go disqualification victory for Steiner to extend this feud for No Way Out or even Wrestlemania.
Tito's Pick: Scott Steiner via disqualification
Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle for the Undisputed WWE Title
Again, like I said above, this match has to become a standout match from not only the show as a whole, but from all of their many matches. Both are very capable of doing it, too, so it's time to innovate and make it hard for any other match to hold a candle to it when Match of the Year candidates are compared with it. I'm serious. They have fought so many times to know each other by now, so it's time to put up or shut up between Angle and Benoit to end the BS of these two fighting repetitive matches. Angle wins to face Lesnar at Wrestlemania.
Tito's Pick: Kurt Angle
ROYAL RUMBLE: I'm going for Lesnar here. It will be one big mega push towards the Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar match at Wrestlemania, so you have to build up Lesnar as an even stronger contender towards Kurt Angle than ever. Beating the Big Show and winning the Rumble in one night will help Brock out very much and establish credibility that was lost when feuding with the Big Show these past few months. I don't honestly see how any RAW roster wrestler has a chance of winning this thing.
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