Conan said in the opening monologue that he was thrilled to have WWF superstar Stone Cold Steve Austin on the show. Conan said he was going to "break a chair over one of your heads". Conan and Andy Richter were joking about wrestling after that.
After "In the year 2000 sketch", they said come back, Stone Cold Steve Austin will be with us.
Conan introduced Stone Cold as the most popular and most paid wrestler of all time. They show clips of Stone Cold from last Monday when he sprayed beer on the corperation. Conan and Andy joke about it. Stone Cold comes out, with the band playing his theme music. Stone Cold said that when he was spraying the corperation with Beer, that it was a waste of beer.
Conan talked about how much the fans loved him. He said that fans are always jumping on him. Stone Cold told a few quick stories about fans including one jumping on him and he couldn't breathe because of it.
Conan asked Austin about Austin 3:16. Austin said it started at the King of the Ring after he got his mouth busted open, and he came back and beat the Religious Jake the Snake, and he was ripping on that and Austin 3:16 was made up on the spot. He said that Austin 3:16 was never meant to be anti-religious.
They started making fun of the merchandise. Conan whipped out a little Stone Cold doll. They were both joking about the legs. Conan got out the Stone Cold Crazy Straw too. Conan then brought up the Stone Cold CD and he was enjoying how the cover changes. They also brought out the new Stone Cold condoms, and Stone Cold said he never would have thought those would come about.
They talked about the name Stone Cold next. That was interrupted by the talk about his torn tricep and how that was the reason he got fired from the federation he used to work for(WCW). Conan was ripping on his torn tricep. They got back to the Stone Cold naming, and Austin said that he came in as the Ringmaster, and he said that he had no personality. He said he needed a new name, and he was faxed many names to choose from. He finally got Stone Cold from his wife at the time who was from England, when she made him tea, and told him to drink it before it gets "Stone Cold". Of course, Conan rips on that too.
They then talk about Stone Cold's romantic side. Conan asks Stone Cold to read a poem out of Jewel's poem book, and he stands up and reads it, trying not to laugh.
Conan starts talking about Wrestlemania coming up Sunday, and he then thanks Stone Cold for coming. End of the Segment.
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