Welcome to another wonderful edition of the Phat Daily Column. Today, we've got the Caffeine loaded Sunkist and we're ready to review RAW is WAR. I'm sort of tired and worn out from working a double shift last night, and plus, my stupid-ass decided to take a 8 o'clock class on Tuesdays (and Thursdays) too. So if I screw something up badly, that's why. I make more errors when I'm tired, so here we go!
Interesting feedback about my Labor Day comments towards wrestling. It makes you wonder, unless you are a multimillion dollar wrestler, how one can endure that type of punishment or career for the money that the wrestling industry pays. No way I'd take it, and I just admire any wrestler for having the guts to make it big in the wrestling business. Especially since only a handful of wrestlers make $1 Million or more a year.
Live Smackdown tonight? 2 nights of back to back live WWF shows? I don't know whether to be happy about this, since we are getting back to back nights of wrasslin', or to be sad, since material for Friday will be hard to come by.
We have lots to talk about for RAW, so on to the PDC!
The show opens up with an opener that I wouldn't choose, and judging from the crowd noise, I'm pretty much correct. It's best to have a wrestling match with very fast and flashy wrestlers, and not uncharismatic Test and the dinosaur Undertaker. It wasn't that bad of a match, though, although I don't understand how the Undertaker could suddenly become a submission technician lately. I just love how JR sells it too. What a moron! Once again, the Undertaker avoids doing the job, even if it could have been a screwjob. It's rather odd of Steven Richards to just attack the Undertaker, months after the many feuds with the Right To Censor. For the Steven Richards vs. Undertaker match at Smackdown, if RTC reforms, you'll see more FINGER OF SHAMES than you'd ever think possible.
In the commissioner's office, William Regal announced that Tajiri and Big Show would be facing the Dudleys in a #1 contender's bout. Now tell me.... what on earth has Tajiri and Big Show done as a team to deserve that recognition? Hardy Boys would have made more sense, despite having wrestled the Duds about 193847477474 times.
I don't really have much to say about the Steve Austin segment, where all of the WCW/ECW wrestlers were kissing his ass, other than "where was Sean O'Haire?". I wouldn't doubt that he could be in the WWF doghouse or on his way to Ohio Valley or HWA for some of his recent performances.
Back to the tag team contender's match.... Tajiri/Big Show fought the Dudleys to a good match, but you knew that once Torrie Wilson walked down, the Duds had it in the bag. But man, Torrie was looking her best ever tonight! In fact, all of the WWF women were looking extra good for some reason or another. Anyway, Duds win the match, and afterward, they powerbombed Tajiri, off the top rope, through a table for good measure. I bet this might spark a rematch, since Kane isn't able to come back yet and defend the titles.
I couldn't watch the Kanyon WWF NY segment without laughing. Just the way he talks and acts is just too much for me.
Next match is Shawn Stasiak, with new music I suppose, against Spike Dudley. Stasiak looked good, but anybody could look decent when tossing around a guy who is 2/3 their weight or more. Weird ending to this match, as the WWF must really enjoy making a fool out of Stasiak, who is considered to be one of the strangest wrestlers around in real life.
I really liked the Rock vs. Christian match, with the exception of the Rock throwing too many righthands. I didn't count, but my good pal "Shooter" Shawn Valloric did, and the Rock threw 30 righthands in this match. The match was roughly 5 and a half minutes long, which shows that the Rock was throwing a little over 5 punches per minute, which is hideous when you consider that Rock was being attacked a lot by Booker T and Shane McMahon and selling Christian's moves. Ok, ok, I'm only kidding, cause I liked this match. It had all of the makings of some of the good McMahon screwjob matches of 1998, and the writers did well on protecting the Rock from Christian's hometown crowd. This loss by Christian would set up something much bigger and better later on....
Ah yes, time for "sports entertainment". I really wonder why Stephanie and Debra even messed with delivering a surprise to Steve Austin in Canada of all places. I knew Kurt Angle would do a sneak attack, but not a kidnapping. I was thinking that Angle was going to trash the truck instead. This would lead to Angle threatening Austin by almost tossing him into the river, which made for some good television. Quite wise of the WWF, too, to keep Angle out of the arena, for the most part, because it's unknown if they'd cheer a wrestler in full support of America. Angle would get his title shot at Unforgiven. Speaking of Unforgiven, I'm not going. Tickets are way too expensive for this event, even for the cheap seats.
Our next match was Matt Hardy and Lita against Ivory and the Hurricane. Looks like someone lost a last name. Maybe the "Hurricane" could have an alter ego called Clark Helms, for good shits and giggles. With today's WWF writing staff, it could happen. Pretty good intergender match, with Perry Saturn distracting Hardy to allow for Hurricane/Ivory to pick up the win. After the match, Saturn attacked Helms for lying to him about Moppy. At least this Moppy angle gives something for the WWF to do with Saturn, cause lord knows Terri Funbags wasn't helping.
Next match is Edge vs. Lance Storm. Oh baby, was I happy to see the ending of this match. First, the match itself. Storm and Edge worked well together, and it was funny to hear the Canadian crowd divided. Edge won on some sort of weird pin... Oh, I liked how Storm took out Edge's knee to set up the Maple Leaf submission or whatever it's called, during one point of the match. After the match, Lance Storm got pissed and attacked Edge. Christian came down to make the save, which he did, and I was thinking we'd go another week before the official break up. However, Christian never put down the chair, and BAM, he drilled Edge! Then, Christian sets up a knocked up Edge, on the mat with chair underneath, for a one man conchairto, which looked absolutely vicious. What a swerve!!! Tonight's Smackdown should be solid for this angle.
Solid, as expected, tag match between Chris Jericho/Jeff Hardy against Rhyno/RVD. What did you expect from these 4 fine workers in the WWF. I'd say that all 4, for as hard as they work, get less respect than they should. I figured RVD would get pinned by Jericho, but for our second special pinning move in a row. This sets up RVD vs. Y2J, which will be one blockbuster of a match. Works for me.
LAST WORD: Wow, what a show!! Based on the crap that the WWF was putting on for the past 2 or 3 weeks, with shorter matches and extensive backstage and interview segments, I didn't expect much out of this show. Instead, the matches were strong and the storylines were there. Ah fuck it, let's go
By the way, after RAW, Star Trek 2: Wrath of Khan came on TNN as part of their Star Trek marathon or whatever. Now, I'm not a big Treky or anything, but I really love this movie. It blows away the other Star Trek movies, especially the 1st one, and Khan is one of the best villains, ever, in the movies. At least in my opinion. Just wanted to throw that out there.
-Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle
-Rock vs. Booker T
-Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho
-Edge vs. Christian
-Hurricane vs. Matt Hardy (and/or Perry Saturn)
I'm not too sure on the rest of the card, although I might be forgetting something. My guess is that Rhyno will fight a one on one match, possibly with a Jeff Hardy or whoever else wants some. Jeff Hardy would be perfect. I'm not too sure, right now, on the tag titles, given Kane's health. I'm sure X-Pac will spot the next hottest cruiserweight and get the win at Unforgiven, too.
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Backyard BBQ: The Best in Backyard Wrestling!
KOLTERSHOCK!!!! You KNOW you want to check it out!
Gamerave - The Ultimate Videogame Site: Reviews and Previews of Gameboy Advance games, along with information about future gaming systems!
@That's all for today. I'm sure someone will pick apart something negative from this column, despite an "A+" given to the show. I'll be back, tomorrow, with a full Smackdown review. Cool, Wednesday's column will be nice and easy to write.
Phat Pharm: New Edition of "Turning the Tables" to Read!!
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.