Welcome back to the Phat Daily Column. Today is ECW day!! That means we are covering ECW on TNN, which is still alive, Fine Points, which is the top stories of ECW, and of course, the Phat 5 of ECW. So after taking a week off from ECW, on to the ECW edition of the PDC.
Well, now it's time to do the show that is being brought to you by the WWF. So in payback, everyone must go to WWF.com and click on the banners....or at least promise to buy those expensive Pay Per Views every month, mmmk?
ECW on TNN PREVIEW
According to ECW's Website:
Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino
Joel Gertner vs. Cyrus
Possible early preview of Rob Van Dam vs. Rhino
SMELL THE RATINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joey Styles and Joel Gertner in the ring. ECW! ECW! ECW! Salem, New Hampshire this week. Styles says "welcome to the show that wasn't supposed to air tonight on TNN". Joel Gertner: Well, well, well.... Oh no! Lou E. Dangerously prevents me from falling out of my chair, laughing. Boooo! Styles tells him to shut up! He calls Lou a "pissant", and says he has better things to do than to talk to him. As Styles/Gertner are leaving, Lou calls Joey a "fat pudgeball". Lou claims that he wrote Joel's material during the Dudley days(those were great days), and he says he's the "death" of Joel Gertner. Joel says he hated him as a Dudley, as a rip off of Paul E. Dangerously, and he hates him now as the Network's music consultant. Joel says Cyrus needs him to play his "instrument". Skin flute or meat whistle. Lou E. calls Joel on, as this should be some quality stuff.
Joel Gertner vs. Lou E. Dangerously
Bitchslap by Joel Gertner, but Cyrus comes in and blindsides Gertner with his old Jackyl technique. Lou and Cyrus stop Gertner, and Styles makes the save!
Winner: Umm, No Contest??
ECW Intro: Extreme Championship WRRRRRRRRRRRESTLING!. It's......it's EXTREEEEEEME! By the way, we are treated to a longer intro than normal. How odd. We get Anarchy Rulz hype. Later tonight...Corino vs. Credible vs. Lynn! Francine Lifesize Poster promo, which reminds me to order one or two of those really soon. Extreme Warfare Volume 2 promo. God Damn, ECW LOVES that promo. Remember kiddies, you get a free bowl of soup if you purchase this video!!
WWF.com EXTREME REPLAY: The Cyrus/Gertner/Styles/Lou E. segment we just saw. Remember, since WWF is paying the tab for this show, the get ALL sponsorship. Styles says he'll kick Lou E.'s ass if he gets involved. ANARCHY RULES: FBI vs. Whipwreck/Tajiri, RVD vs. Rhino, and the World Title match of whoever wins tonight. Be sure to go to WWF.com, the sponsor of the Upcoming Events segment that is going on here. WWF now owns this show, so remember, they get ALL sponsorship.
Highlights of Rhino vs. Kid Kash, from last week, is shown. I don't understand why Rhino lost this title in the first place....or better yet, I don't understand why RVD is going after the Television title when he should be going after the World. It's the least ECW can do for him since he's been there forever. I guess we must give that to guys like Justin Credible, instead. What a joke. I guess this loss of the TV title was supposed to "hype" up the RVD and Rhino match since RVD was the one who screwed Rhino out of the title. Poor RVD doesn't realize that he has to carry the Singles KroniK this Sunday. Hey, I bet with Bryan Adams and Brian Clarke, he could make a good 6 man tag team. Too bad WCW doesn't have the 6 man titles anymore...
Rhino is in the back trying to talk. Let me transcribe: "ARGH!!!!!! I'm gonna Kill ya!! I'm soo stupid and I won't sell a move!!!" He says man F-Words during this segment. How ignorant. Oh wait, I'm sorry, that's the future of ECW...how dare I say something bad like that.
Back. Styles questions who will wear the ECW title into Anarchy Rulez? Oh, I bet I can answer that. New Jack would have been the special referee in this match, but he was mugged by Rhino and Credible, remember? You know, New Jack should be the one getting the titles, not Credible or Rhino. Clips of many parts of ECW are shown, and we get more WWF.com hype of Anarchy Rulez. Nothing like a bunch of hype and then a commercial. That's what I LOVE about ECW.
Jerry Lynn, one of the best ECW wrestlers, comes out. Steve Corino, with the never aging Jack Victory, comes down with him. He's F'N old school baby! I wish it was just Corino vs. Lynn. :*( However, we must have Justin Credible get the win in this match. He's "Just that Damn Bad". He's not the "Game", he's the worst ECW champ ever! Francine can't even make him look good. What a joke of a champ, I swear. We will see Corino and Lynn attempt to carry Credible and still lose after this break!
COMMERCIAL: I prefer commercials than to watch Justin Credible get put over great wrestlers as World Champ.
Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino
Long introductions to start this match because the shorter the match with Justin Credible, the better! Look at Francine stroke that stick. Punches everywhere, from everyone. Jerry Lynn hits a tilt a whirl head scissors on Corino, and hip tosses Credible over the ropes. Lynn then jumps over the top rope on Corino and Credible. Credible using his lethal offense of punches and kicks, and then we are treated to lots of reversals. Lynn shows Credible who is his daddy by kicking him in the face, and giving him a mean Tornado DDT. Credible eventually gets a reverse DDT on Lynn, which adds a new move to his arsenal. Credible slams Lynn's face into the chair, several times. Who, how innovative. Corino is now in charge, pounding on both goons. He gives a baseball slide to Credible, with a chair, and he goes up to the top with a chair. However, Lynn drop kicked Corino in the face, with the chair killing him. Ouch. Lynn now on Credible, and he punches in him the corner. Credible gets clotheslined over the top rope. Lynn on Corino, as he throws him over the railing. Lynn jumps on both competitors from over the railing. Lynn is the one who is that Damn good! Corino is busted open because he sells EVERYTHING like a chance. Corino was sent into the railing by Lynn. Lynn now is in a slugfest with Credible since that matches Credibles only moves. Corino then gives Credible a bionic elbow, and the ref too! Credible no sells, gets the gane and nails both wrestlers. However, Lynn is God, recovers, and Cradle Piledrivers Credible. Danny Daniels, or whatever, does NOT count for Lynn. What bullshit. Daniels and Francine distract Lynn, and Credible gets a "That's Incredible" on Lynn. Referees are now fighting, so no count for Credible! Yipee!! Schoolboy by Lynn on Credible, but 2 count only. Corino superkicks Lynn, and Credible gets a "That's Incredible" on Lynn. Lynn eliminated. Corino now attacks Credible, getting a near fall. Francine distracts Corino, and Victory tries to go after Francine. Credible hits Victory with the title, Corino superkicks Credible. 2 count only! Damn! Corino hits some hard chops. Why? He's Oldschool baby! Chop fest now! Credible hits Corino in the balls, and Francine then tapes Corino to the top rope. Damn it! Credible then canes Credible to death! 2 Count only!!!!!!!!!!! Chair in the ring. Credible tries a "That's Incredible", but it was reversed into a Reverse Twist of Fate! Awesome!!!! 2 count only, thanks to
Stephanie Francine. Dawn Marie comes in! CAT FIGHT!!!!!. Corino tries to attack Francine, but Credible attacks. Schoolboy by Corino, 2 count only. Sent for the ride is Corino, he's hit the cane, and a "That's Incredible" for Justin Credible. 1, 2, 3, what a joke of a champion!
Winner: Just InsaneForPaulHeymanToKeepHimAsChamp
More upcoming events, with Anarchy Rulez hype. Of course, sponsored by WWF.com. Extreme Evolution promo. I'm hoping to buy that tape soon. Hotline: ECW superstar coming back? WCW title changes hands, and they don't want you to know about it. Howard Stern comes face to face with Stone Cold Steve Austin??? Only one ECW tidbit on the hotline, so call it at 1-900-Run4ECW. Better call it so that ECW can pay their wrestlers!!!
COMMERCIAL: By the way, before the match we just recapped, Gertner and Styles were laughing at the new TNN slogan "We've Got Pop". However, Joel said it wasn't as bad as the old TNN slogan "We FUCK Pigs"!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!
Anarchy Rulz Hype. Odd. So Jerry Lynn is the first eliminated tonight, so he gets the World Title shot still? Hmm, I just don't understand that. Upcoming events, AGAIN!! Be sure to attend because ECW needs your money!!! WWF won't support them for that long! ECWwrasslin has Jasmin St. Claire pics to get off on. CW Anderson attacks Jack Victory, as he wants Steve Corino.
Justin Credible and Francine try to talk, as they aren't making much sense. Francine is bitching because her ribs are hurt, and they won't support those large midgets of her. Credible is making no sense, as having that World Title around his waist doesn't make sense. I guess he's saying that he's very confident in winning? Not just the coolest, and not just the best, but Just a Horrible World Champ! Jerry Lynn then talks, as he can't talk either. But who cares? He's possibly the best all around wrestler in ECW right now. BUY THE PAY PER VIEW to SMELL THE BUYRATE!!!
The stuff with Gertner was, I guess, OK, as I wouldn't imagine Joey Styles scaring off wrestlers....ever. Both Gertner and Styles were VERY funny on commentary, as I now consider them better than Jim Ross and Lawler. I'm serious there. I guess for what the situation was with not knowing they'd have a show, it was decent. I'll give it a
4. Kid Kash- I wish he could have kept the TV champ so that RVD wouldn't win it back, or just to see a rematch between RVD and Kash.
3. Rob Van Dam- I don't understand why he's still a Television contender, although the TV title, at times, is more respectable than the World Title.
2. Steve Corino- He's oldschool, and he always sells moves like a champ! How about making him a champ?
1. Jerry Lynn- He showed us why, tonight, that he was one of the best, if not THE best, in ECW. Hopefully, ECW sees gold in making him champ, and puts him in a HUGE championship with Rob Van Dam. Oh pretty please?
Wrestle Palooza Real Audio Show
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@That's all for today. I'll be back tomorrow or Sunday with Anarchy Rulz predictions, and other goodies I suppose. Just chill...
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