Welcome to Crash Holly's favorite internet column, the Phat Daily Column. Today, I'll shove some Daily Apples down your throats, hype up Smackdown, and then, I'll whip out a music review on the Tough Enough soundtrack, which could get nasty since everyone and their mother has different musical tastes. I'm sure I'll get the same funny threats that I did when I reviewed the second ECW CD.
Digression #1: While we're on the subjects of CDs, it's funny how overpriced they are these days. Besides the good deals you can get at Circuit City, most of my area CD stores, like Sam Goody and Waves, are selling their regular CDs at $19.99 and their on-sale ones for $15.99. Geesh, and they wonder why CD burning and mp3s are really popular these days. CDs are quite cheap to make, too, which makes it more ridiculous. If the music stores only knew that selling CDs at a cheaper price will sell more units, which in the long run, will equal more profit. I take it that their corporation heads never took any economics courses in their lives? Well, yeah they have, because they have monopolies in the certain parts of the mall that they are in.
Back to wrestling. My hopes are to pad the Multimedia Reviews section of the archives with more critiques on wrestling CDs, videos, and books. Besides paying out my ass for some of the stuff, it's probably the most fun I have writing this very column, especially when it's something good to review. Hell, even when it's bad, I can just let off some steam about a bad purchase by writing on it. Kurt Angle has a book coming out soon, and I have yet to read Mick Foley's second book, too, which I really want to do. As for the Undertaker's video..... they say it features highlights of all of the Taker's career, including some WCW footage. If it takes up the majority of the video, I might consider it, because I liked the Taker up and until he started his Demonic gimmick and started to get really out of shape. His ego grew during that time, too, and got worse when he returned from all of his injuries in Spring/Summer of 2000. If anyone has that video, or will be buying it, please let me know what's on it ahead of time. By the way, I only buy VHS.....
Speaking about Kurt Angle's book... not saying this in a mean way, but the WWF will probably score more sales on it due to the large flow of patriotism that this country currently has now. I know a news broadcast or whatever listed his Olympic moment in the list of top American achievements, and if some regular reader just walks into a bookstore, they'll see the red, white, and blue all over the cover, along with Kurt Angle standing proud as an American.
Anyway, time to fire some people up, so on to the PDC!!
-Be sure to bid on Chyna's stuff on Ebay, because without the WWF and the lack of potential in the acting industry, she'll need the money! How much do you want to bet that she gets her breast implants changed just to sell them on Ebay? Now that sounds like Chyna, who used the WWF to become quite rich, which she does NOT appreciate.
-I'll tell you what, the Honky Tonk Man is the fucking man lately. His commentaries are among the best on the net, and he's just totally going after Jerry Lawler. With rumors looming about a possible Lawler return to the WWF, the Honky Tonk Man reposted some old notes from a Lawler radio appearance on Mancow, in which the King was quite critical of the WWF after getting fired. I remember that Jerry did this show while still happily married to the Kat, or so he thought. Now, he wants back in, and after word got around that Jerry Lawler was backstage at Smackdown this past Tuesday, the Honky Tonk Man made sure to show the hypocracy that the King displayed. HTM 4 Life. Please kindly visit his site at TheHonkyTonkMan.com.
-The DirecTV versus the WWF fued is getting good. It appears that DirecTV is willing to stand up against the WWF because early indications are saying that Unforgiven will do a weak buyrate in the Pay Per View market, as compared to other WWF events. The WWF will be hurting, too, because interest in their product is down because of the recent terrorist attacks hurting the moods of Americans. The thing is that the WWF still has one more Pay Per View to do before a big money maker, Survivor Series, in October. Looks like DirecTV might have a good amount of leverage; something the WWF didn't expect them to have.
Something will go down between Steve Austin and Kurt Angle. I still fear another cheap DQ finish or shitty screwjob to keep the title on Austin at Unforgiven, which seems evident with what happened on RAW, where Angle got the clean pin over Austin. "Same shit, different crapper". (Quoting Terry Funk there, I think?)
Edge returns to wrestling regular matches, again, and he'll be fighting Kanyon. I believe these two fought before, and it was decent. Look for this to only last 3 minutes, IF THAT, and for an obvious Christian run in to occur at some point during or after the match. I didn't even read the spoilers.
Also, the Dudley Boyz will take on the Hardy Boyz in a non-title bout. Have these two teams ever fought before?
I do like the strange booking of Big Show/Spike Dudley against Lance Storm/Hurricane. It has the potential to be quite entertaining, although Storm and Hurricane will have to sell like champs for the very out-of-shape Big Show. I wonder if Molly Holly will turn on Spike tonight and become Hurricane's Lois Lane.
Digression #2: While I'm on the subject of Superman, why is that every song about the Man of Steel is either really good or does well in the charts? Whether its 3 Doors Down, Old Lady Peace, or even Five for Fighting, it's either really good to listen to or just hugely popular in the charts. And to digress even further, I'm looking foward to the new prequel series called "Smallville" on the WB network, which is about Superman in his younger years, before he knew his own powers and met Lois Lane. No matter who they have playing Superman, nobody will ever be better than Christopher Reeves. Nobody.
And finally, in the embarrassing squash of the century, Kronik are going to destroy Kaientai. Ya know, I really wonder how long it will take TAKA and Funaki to formulate a lawsuit on how they've been played on television, like Sonny Ono is doing against Time Warner/AOL right now. The WWF is at least pushing one Japanese wrestler (Tajiri), which would hurt their chances in court.
"Bodies" by Drowning Pool: My gosh, I'm sick of this song. I've heard it everywhere before the WWF got a hold of it, and it's even worse now. I guess its place is appropriate on this CD, but I could have cared less if it was on it or not.
"Smooth Criminal" by Alien Antfarm: Great cover of Michael Jackson's old classic. I hear that ol' Jacko has scored at least $2 Million, if not more by now, off of Antfarm for the rights of this song. The reason I didn't buy the Alien Antfarm CD for this song was because I didn't really like the remainder of the tracks they had. It's easy to make a cover song sound good, but sometimes, your own material lacks something.
"Awake" by Godsmack: I've also heard this song way too much, and never liked it from the start. I just can't get into this group. They seem to try too hard to be heavy, while the singer really isn't that good.
"Bombshell" by Powerman 5000: I liked this track. I've seen the group name in several places before, but never really heard any of their work. Not bad at all.
"Beat the World" by Pressure 4-5: Pressure what? This song is just one of those average hard rock songs that sound like the rest of the bunch.
"Dead Cell (live)" by Papa Roach: Know what's funny about Papa Roach? When they came out with their first huge hit, a bunch of people jumped all over this band and declared them the best around. A little later, those same individuals abandoned Papa Roach because they weren't "socially cool" anymore. Fucking posers. I've never been too high on these guys, but I've never been bothered, either. Decent song, even when it was live.
"Digital Bath" by the Deftones: I know that some of my good friends really like this band. However, whenever they'd put them in the CD player, I wouldn't get too impressed with what I was hearing. The same goes for this track.
"Slamin" by Buchcherry: So-so song, really, to me at least. Never been to big on these guys, either.
"Dogtooth Violent" by Big Mother Thruster: I like both the group name and the song title, but the song is just OK in my book. Big Mother Thruster is a much better name than the next group discussed.
"Superstar" by Saliva: Before I discuss the song, I just want to say that "Saliva" is a very weak group name. I'm sure when they first walked into a club, they were like, "look at us, we're Saliva!". What the fuck did these guys do, open up a health book and point to a word for their group title? Anyway, their song is decent, and fitting for the CD, as it's named "Superstar".
"Drive Away" by Halfcocked: Lame; probably the worst track on the CD.
"Stupify (Live)" by Disturbed: Funny stuff with Disturbed, which I can blame two individuals for getting me hooked. Firstly, I HATED Disturbed from the get, because I just briefly heard this very song somewhere and not with it's full effect. Ya know, when it's loud! Anyway, I didn't particularly like Steve Austin's Disturbed theme, but as the weeks went by, I slowly began to like it. Then, good ol' Wrestling Historian sent me a pretty clear version of the Disturbed Steve Austin theme. I started listening to it, over and over again, and I began to like it. I was talking with Jaymz about starting to like that theme, and he suggested that I check out their other material, too. So I did, and I downloaded a lot of tracks from their CD off of good ol' Napster, and was surprised at how good they truly were. That prompted me to buy the CD, which I really enjoyed. Hell, I got an extra surprise when I found a cover of Tears for Fears's "Shout" on the CD, too.
Back to the Tough Enough track. From what I've heard from friends and reading reviews, Disturbed is a hot band to see live. I can easily hear that on this CD, as their live playing of "Stupify" is very clear compared to the album. You know you have stock in this world when you're studio tracks kick and you're a strong live band, as well.
"Dig" by Mudvayne: Ehhh, lame. Second worst track, probably.
LAST WORD: Well, there's a little bit of my hard earned money down the drain, but not too bad. My choice in buying this over the Alien Antfarm CD was probably a good one, so I guess I'm satisfied with what I bought. However, in the case of most CDs I buy, there lacks that surprise track that helps the rest of the CD. You know, the one that you never heard of, but are just impressed when hearing it? Anyway, I'm sure a lot of you like the bands on this CD, but there are a handful that I could care less about. With that being said, I'll give this CD a
CLICK HERE to listen to the latest show, covering the latest in wrestling. Note that new Wrestle Palooza shows are produced every Sunday and Thursday of the week. Be sure to check regularly for any announcements concerning possible guests on the show. Also, listen to the archives, which features interviews with Bobby "the Brain" Heenan, Harley Race, Daffney, Spike Dudley, Dr. Death, Dusty Rhodes, Lenny Lane, Kid Kash, Madusa, and more!
Mr. Tito's MARIO TENNIS Page: Serving up Codes, Cheats, Hidden Characters and Courts, and a lot more information about this GREAT Nintendo 64 game!!!!
Backyard BBQ: The Best in Backyard Wrestling!
KOLTERSHOCK!!!! You KNOW you want to check it out!
Gamerave - The Ultimate Videogame Site: Reviews and Previews of Gameboy Advance games, along with information about future gaming systems!
@That's all for today. I felt sort of back into my own routine after this column. I'll be back, tomorrow, with a FULL Smackdown and Tough Enough review. Until then, just chill.....
Phat Pharm Columns
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.