Welcome to the column that almost didn't happen, but thanks to the miracles known as laptops and VCRs, ECW day is able to happen. So today, we will discuss the current issues in ECW, recap ECW on TNN, which is ECW's #2 show, and of course, do the Phat 5 of the top ECW wrestlers. Let's do it, on to the PDC.

ECW Day

Fine Points

  • ECW on TNN got a lower rating of 0.7, which seems appropriate when you are doing a recap/hype show. Of course, I'll cut ECW on TNN some slack, as they had to slap together a show since they didn't think they were able to do one on TNN for last week. But thanks to the WWF, ECW on TNN continued. So shall we blame the low rating on the WWF extending ECW's time on TNN? I'm kidding there, so you can close your Outlook Express email.
  • Things are already shaping up for the next ECW pay per view, as they will be brought to you on a monthly basis. I'll still unsure to whether it's a good move or not by ECW, but I'm not Paul Heyman, now am I? Anyway, it appears that we'll have Steve Corino vs. Jerry Lynn for that very world title next month, and who knows whatever else. I'm sure Justin Credible will get into the mix, along with another Rhino vs. RVD match. Oh lord help us!
  • Speaking of RVD, I thought it was rather nice of him to want to lose to Rhino at Anarchy Rulz. Many, including me, feel that RVD is so damn overdue for that World Title, that it's insane for ECW to have him put over Rhino, but yet we don't realize the true story. RVD only wants what is best for the company. He wanted Rhino to win to help establish him more, and since RVD is one of the longer members of ECW, it seems rather odd for him to do that. Especially when RVD has only been a Television contender.
  • ECW's roster can now thicken, thanks to the return of Super Crazy from his visa problems. He should be popping up on an ECW show near you, so look out. Hey, maybe Crazy vs. Tajiri won't be so repetitive to me now since they haven't fought in a long time now.
  • This isn't Roller Jam, it's............

    Highlights of Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible is shown. I want to know why that ref didn't keep counting, even when New Jack was coming out. I'm glad to see Jerry Lynn as champ. For some reason, we are having a Farmclub.com video, as I have no idea why. It's Limp Bizkit's Rollin. Why is it on here? Because Limp Bizkit will do ANYTHING for the dollar these days. Did I say there was anything wrong with that? By the way, we get some ECW clips with it.

    November to Remember hype, already, is shown. Styles and Gertner are talking about Cyrus and Joel's match. Tonight: New Jack, Dawn Marie, Rhino, and Jerry Lynn. We are also getting EZ Money vs. Kid Kash and Joel Gertner vs. Cyrus from the Pay Per View. What a treat! Hotline: Sabu's return to the ECW arena, Chyna on Stern, WCW selling? 1-900-Run4ECW. Extreme EVOLUTION promo is shown.

    COMMERCIAL.

    FULL CLIPS, not just pictures, of RVD vs. Rhino from Anarchy Rulz are shown. Hypes November to Remember, again!!! Still to come: Rhino, New Jack, Dawn Marie, Jerry Lynn, Anarchy Rulz matches, and Nova!

    COMMERCIAL

    Bilvis and his morons, along with Nova come out, and we go to Commercial. Oh how this annoys me!

    COMMERCIAL

    Bilvis Presley vs. Nova
    Note: This is a dark match specially taped for the TNN show which was at Anarchy Rulz. Reversals here, reversals there, reversals everywhere! Punches here, punches there. Nova hits a high cross body, and then a tilt a whilr head scissors. Baseball slide on both Bilvis and the Prodigy. Sunset flip, missed hit by Bilvis, attempted cover by Nova, and a hard clothesline by Nova. Get that? Morons on the outside distract Nova, as Prodigy hits a nice suplex on Nova. 2 Count only. Nova counters with a kick to the face, and attempted pin. Bilvis back in control, because he's a hunka hunka burnin' love! Puts Nova up on top, and he's attempting a superplex. Nova hits a Swanton Bomb, which he'll claim he invented. Odd insagury(sp?) by Nova, 2 count only. Reversals, and then Nova hits the Downward Spiral only to get a distracted ref. Prodigy comes in and takes a SPIN DOCTOR when trying to attack. Bilvis back in control, but when trying a powerbomb, Nova reverses it into a Kryptonite Crunch.
    Winner: Nova

    Yikes, that was a bad match. I can see why Nova is never pushed. Extreme Replay is shown, along with more hype about tonight's show.

    COMMERCIAL

    Back. Joel Gertner just said a strange catch phrase, which is too hard to recap while laughing. Anarchy Rulz of Kid Kash vs. EZ Money. Kash is going to make some federation lots of money one day. Cyrus vs. Joel Gertner from Anarchy Rulz is shown. This stuff is so funny, especially when he throws the neckbrace into the crowd. Remember, Gertner got that neckbrace gimmick thanks to the Eliminators. ECWWrestling.com sponsors the Upcoming Events thingy.

    COMMERCIAL

    Rhino talks about RVD and whatever else comes out of his mouth. He curses and uses threatening words. Hey, Pulp Fiction music! FBI talks about how Tajiri/Whipwreck can't beat them. Sinister Minister talks about the FBI, and I guess he's mad at them, right? I the background, Mikey catches a book on fire. New Jack talks about Credible and Rhino. I'm hoping that ECW doesn't kill New Jack this time around. He rips on Francine pretty badly. Steve Corino talks now, as he's aiming for Jerry Lynn and Justin Credible. Dawn Marie is talking in her own ditsy way. I have no idea what she just said. Jerry Lynn talks about being the champ. To quote him "the starmaker has become a star". Justin Credible comes in for some respect, and he talks about ECW world champs. Odd, because Credible was the worst ECW champ. FOOLED YOU. Francine comes from behind and hits Lynn in the nuts, and Credible attacks.

    End of Show...

    ECW on TNN Phat Stats

    Matches: 1
    Clean Wins: 1
    Screwjobs: 0
    Disqualifications: 0
    No Contests: 0

    Last Word: Bah. I enjoyed the Anarchy Rulz replays of EZ Money vs. Kid Kash, along Gertner vs. Cyrus. I'm not much for that Pulp Fiction ending, as I didn't enjoy it in 1996.

    Nova vs. Bilvis was very hard to watch. It was a spot here, spot there match, with Nova looking terrible. I haven't seen him in a while, so it really stood out for me. Bilvis isn't that great either, which doesn't help matters. I'll give this show a

    C

    just because what was good was recaps, and what was bad was really bad, like the Pulp Fiction ending and the actual taped match. Call me a nice guy. I predict a 0.8 in the ratings, if you can smell them.

    ECW Phat 5

    5. Rhino- Ugh, I hate putting Singles KroniK on this, but he did get a big win over RVD. He's so lucky RVD is a great company man.

    4. Steve Corino- #1 contender, and he'll put on a great match with Lynn.

    3. Rob Van Dam- He's a great company man for putting over Rhino. Nuff said.

    2. Kid Kash- Stole the show at Anarchy Rulz and ECW on TNN with a recap of his match at Anarchy Rulz.

    1. Jerry Lynn- Thank the heavens! He's the new ECW world champ!

    @That's all for today. I'll be back tomorrow with some kind of column, I hope at least. Check out the Phat Pharm for new columns!

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    Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

    Mr. Tito 2000 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net