Welcome to another Tuesday edition of the Phat Daily Column, where I'll review RAW to the best of my abilities, whatever they may be. I'll even contain myself to not swear in it, this week, unlike last week where I made truckdrivers look innocent. Even in yesterday's parody, I didn't let any slip, which I guess is impressive when ripping on the McMahons.
Speaking of the parody, I had some interesting feedback on that. I guess that some welcomed the return of those, while others continue to question my aim at the McMahons. My point is very simple: I want to be entertained by the wrestlers and not the McMahons. In my opinion, the McMahons have done everything to each other, to other wrestlers, and anything else. It's nothing but repetition, over and over, with the McMahons anymore, and it gets sickening when they start taking over shows when the ratings drop. That's all my point has been.
Oh, and speaking of feedback... I just went through the rest of the feedback that I requested on my 3 year anniversary edition of the PDC, last Friday. Good stuff. For anyone expecting a reply, which I kind of promise, I must apologize right now. I was hoping to get through the remaining e-mails in a much shorter time on a fast network connection at school, but for some reason, the damn network was slow whenever I tried to answer e-mails with a response. I didn't want to sit there for 3 or more hours to put up with such crappy speed on the replies. I'll stop talking about this now or I'll get into another computer technology rant, which will take up a significant space on this very column.
But I did read the remaining ones! So don't feel that I ignored your ideas or whatever else. It appears that an large majority of the replies want the History columns to come back. Wow. Like I've always said about the histories: I enjoy doing them, but I don't have the 3+ hours required to look up past wrestling cards and/or write up the columns. Some have suggested to write "condensed histories". Yeah, that sounds good and all, but whenever I originally did a history, I came into it with the idea to not write way too much anyway. However, I found myself getting into the column, and spending ridiculous amounts of time on one column, like the NWO column that I spent nearly 5 hours just typing up. I value my time a lot more now, and I'm not willing to go above 2 hours on a history, typing and researching.
Other ideas like the "What if" columns were brought up. I like that one, and I enjoyed doing the one that discussed the shape of the WWF if Triple H wasn't suspended in 1996 for the famous Curtain Call incident. Ugh, why did I say those words? To save myself from a mass load of e-mails, the Curtain Call was the following: Razor Ramon (Scott Hall) and Diesel (Kevin Nash) were signed by WCW, and they only had one WWF date to wrestle. It was at Madison Square Garden, and Hall fought Triple H (Triple H won), and Shawn Michaels fought Nash (Shawn Michaels won) in a cage match. After the HBK vs. Nash match, Scott Hall and Triple H ran in to salute each other, since Hall and Nash were leaving. Hall, Nash, HBK, and Triple H were close friends and all members of the elusive Clique, that ruled WWF backstage politics back in the day.
Their salute, together, was considered a no-no by the WWF, since storylines and the wrestling business were still guarded as not being exposed to being fake. Hall and Nash couldn't be punished since they were leaving, HBK was the World Champ and now the top guy of the WWF, so Triple H was left to be punished. Triple H was then depushed, totally, in the storylines, as he was scheduled to win the King of the Ring tourney in 1996. As you well know, Steve Austin would then win the KOTR in 1996, where he made his famous "Austin 3:16" speech. Back to what I was originally talking about.... I did a What If column on how Triple H wouldn't have been punished, therefore going on to win the KOTR in 1996, and possibly pushed, maybe too early, as a heel main eventer. It was a fun column for me to write, and I get my ideas together on maybe doing more of these in the future.
It's funny, though, that whenever I say "Curtain Call" or "Montreal Incident", I always have to explain what I'm saying, especially to the newer internet fans. Montreal Incident, of course, refers to the 1997 Survivor Series, held in Montreal, where Vince McMahon screwed Bret Hart out of the World Title in his last WWF match before going to WCW. Rent, buy, or borrow "Bret Hart: Wrestling with Shadows" for that whole story.
The good news on the "What If" columns are that they take a much smaller amount of time to whip up than histories. WAY less time. Another idea for future PDCs is to bring back "Shouts". My early consensus was that readers disliked Shouts. I guess when a handful of readers immediately write in, saying they dislike a feature, you could say that they aren't speaking for the majority. Hmm... I'll think about it, especially since Wednesday columns desparately need something extra.
But this Wednesday, I do have something lined up. The Best of Dudley Boys in ECW video, for VHS, has been watched and I'll produce a FULL review for y'all tomorrow. That shall be the main focus, along with some Daily Apples like ratings, etc.
Today's focus, however, is on RAW, so let's get to it. Oh yeah, I'm bringing back a feature that my show reviews used to have, as well. On to the PDC.
Our first match was Rob Van Dam vs. Edge. Good overall, as expected from two of the WWF's brighter stars for the future. Edge got a completely clean win... Before the ECW/RVD marks assemble to complain, just note that Edge is the Intercontinental Champion and that many wrestlers resort to cheating to even beat Edge. Edge is damn well one of the future corner pieces of the company, so understand that. RVD could have been put here, however, to lose to Edge because of his recent heat with management. Whatever the case may be, it at least gives credibility to an IC champion for a change. That works for me, more than anything.
I'm sure Tazz fans are well fed up at how many times he gets humiliated, a week, as a member of the Alliance. Speaking of humiliating, Perry Saturn sure looks strange without any facial hair. What is his role, exactly? Give the man a tag partner!
Next match was Hurricane/Mighty Molly vs. Tajiri/Torrie Wilson. The new Hurricane/Molly music just doesn't do it for me, especially when Molly speaks in it. Hurricane needs a better sidekick, like a male tag team partner, for his gimmick to keep working. Match was ridiculously short, but the ending was good. While Tajiri had Hurricane in the Tarantula, Mighty Molly got the cheap win over Torrie, via holding the tights. I wonder when Tajiri will notice, in the storylines, that William Regal has joined the Alliance.
Great intensity, again, between Chris Jericho and the Rock backstage this week. Rocky even brought back the Juventud reference. What would even be more dirtier is if the Rock said that "not even Bill Goldberg would give you a match in WCW" reference. Ouch. The WWF obviously won't do that since they fear "Goldberg" chants starting. For this segment, it was interesting to see many wrestlers who haven't been on RAW/Smackdown lately.
Oh boy, yet another trashing of Diamond Dallas Page. If only the WWF knew of the potential of pushing the Alliance with DDP as a key figure. But hey, the WWF writers and backstage politicians don't understand how to make good storylines anymore or a successful promotion anymore. DDP would suggest that the Big Slow was going to jump. Give DDP credit... he saw a turncoat in Big Show, since the Giant (Big Show's name in WCW) joined the NWO twice, once after a feud with Hogan, and the second time, he joined Hogan's NWO Hollywood, after feuding with Hogan. Hmm... DDP would then get chokeslammed for his actions, and at the same time, I heard the noise of a toilet flushing, signifying that DDP's potential in the WWF was going down the tubes. "That's a good thing" in the minds of those who can't see how to improve the WWF right now.
Wow, Kurt Angle had a "special" meeting with Steve Austin, where he didn't get into a brawl with Austin! I knew, right there, who was making the big turn, and I shook my head at how bad this stuff is becoming.
Next match was Booker T/Test vs. Rock/Jericho, in a match that was formed from the actions of Smackdown. Pretty solid tag match, again, as expected from these 4. The Jericho and Rock feud is sooo red hot right now. Their feud should be pushed much more than a stupid WWF vs. Alliance match or any WWF defection to the Alliance. But noooooo... Good ending for this match, as it took one error by Booker T/Test for a fighting Jericho/Rock to somehow win the match. Nice drama.
Next match was Stacy Keibler vs. Lita. Note to WWF creative team and executives: Stacy Keibler is NOT a wrestler. She's a valet who should sell posters, not punches or wrestling holds. Hey, that was a good line. It appears that any storyline with the Hardys takes a long time to build up, like the Lita-Matt future break up, whereas a defection to the Alliance.... well, that only takes one show to build up! I'm sure LoP's very own Turtle2Hug is getting really impatient with this slow break up already, for she wants Matt Hardy all to herself.
Mick Foley was at WWF NY. I know that Foley's books are very important, but why keep plugging them, over and over and over and over again? I mean, geesh, if Foley was considered a great author, then wouldn't readers buy his books based on his merits and not how many times the publicity gets shoved down their throats? Let's not forget that Foley is commissioner just to plug his Halloween book.
Nice try, on the swerve, by booking Kurt Angle against William Regal. Hey, isn't Regal supposed to be injured with a torn bicep? That's a type of injury that puts you on the shelf for at least 3-4 months or maybe out forever. Is Regal sucking it up, or was the tear very minor? Or was he not hurt at all? Decent match.
Have we ever seen The Dudley Boyz against Kane/Undertaker before? (sarcasm) I'm sure if I put about 3 televisions together, with one having this match, while the other two had previous matches of theirs on them, we'd see move for move, the same exact matches. However, the Duds somewhat got a clean win over the Brothers of Destruction, although it was Kane doing the jobbing. I guess I see the logic in that finish, since Jericho was finger pointing at Kane for being the one defecting, backstage.
Yesterday, I suggested a boycott of the Shane vs. Vince match... Well, I yielded to temptation. The only reason I watched this garbage was to establish some credibility for giving a review, and most of all, a grade to this show. The Streetfight, with the exception of the missed Shooting Star Press by Shane, sucked! Very lame brawl, and this is a main event?!? Boy, the McMahons have truly lost it. Shane McMahon won the eyesore when the "surprise" defection occurred, with Kurt Angle being the turncoat. Oh my, I can smell the ratings now. Yeah, I'd join a faction that brutally jumped me and who threw my Olympic medals into a river. Makes a whole lot of sense.
The RETURNING Phat Stats
Clean Wins: 5
No Contests: 0
LAST WORD: Unless Smackdown has a very good explanation for why Kurt Angle joined, this could be the nail in the coffin for the WWF's fate, in terms of how many fans actually will care to watch anymore. Pulling lame swerves, on the fly, is one of the many reasons that did WCW in, with with recent bogus ones like Angle's and Regal's, it could be curtains. Another
But hey, it's just my opinion, and I'm only one viewer.
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@That's all for today. I'll be back, tomorrow, with a FULL review of the ECW Dudley video, and probably some Daily Apples to eat as well. Until then, just chill......
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.