Welcome back to the Phat Daily Column. I'm your host, Mr. Tito. Well, lots to talk about today, as we had a Pay Per View last night, and possibly more importantly, the first WWF Heat on Mtv to discuss as well. How could I forget the Monday Night Hype? That's the "meat and potatoes" of the Monday column. So without more of an introduction, on to the PDC.


-Sunday Night Heat is Mtv-

Things could get ugly here, so if you can't take opinions, move along to the RAW hype.

First off, I like the idea of this show. Michael Cole and Tazz are broadcasting from WWF NY, where they can have guests and commentate on matches. I like that, as it's a change from the old Heat format, and it's very appealing to the "teeny bopper" Mtv audience who can't stop voting for GARBAGE like N'Sync or the Backstreet Boys on TRL. Who knows, since they had on Disturbed(more on that in a second), maybe they could invite those fag bands on the show as well.

But what the hell were DJ Ran and that Rebecca chick doing there? They served NO purpose for the show, and Rebecca has the worst female announcing voice I've ever heard. At least with Lilian Garcia, she had the voice at first, and didn't know her lines, so don't give that excuse. Rebecca needs to go back to Soaps where the mothers, who don't watch their children and let the PTC have firepower, can enjoy her.

As for Tazz and Michael Cole. I think if you tone Tazz down, this will be a better duo. Tazz was overdoing it a bit with his jokes and laughs, and then at times, he was a good heel commentator. I did enjoy the fact that he was bashing Austin the WHOLE time, which was later met by a confrontation. Austin just punched him around and threw him over the counter, as I say THANK GOD, because he didn't give him a stunner. Hey, maybe this could evolve into something down the road?

Now it's time to get rough. Heat had the band Disturbed play not only once, but twice! First off, this is a wrestling show and not FarmClub.com. I could see them playing once, but not twice. Twice was torture!!! If you've read my wonderful show recaps over the weekend, you will know that I do NOT like the Stone Cold theme by Disturbed. I think they completely ruined the once great theme by Austin with just horrible sounding guitars and singing that nobody can understand. Speaking of that, that's what I got from their first song, whatever that was. It sounded like crap! Disturbed is just another one of those bands who try to headbang and jump around to pump up the crowd, wear "cool" clothing and have piercings for a cheap image, and they try to be heavy so that they can ride off of what other great bands have done lately. Ah fuck it, they Suck! The Insane Clown Posse puts out a better wrestling theme than them. You'd think with all of the money the WWF makes, they'd get some GOOD band to make Stone Cold's theme, and not this trash band called Disturbed. Disturbed is nothing but another horrible POSER band.

By the way, my theory on bands are if they happen to play on a WRESTLING show, they will be criticized as part of the WRESTLING show.

I just want to say that William Regal looked very good in the ring, and looks to be in the best ring shape ever! Let's just hope that the past demons don't come back to haunt him. What on earth is the WWF doing with Dean Malenko? A James Bond gimmick? How stupid. Good match between the Dudleys and RTC, as Buh Buh was trying his hardest to say "WAZZZZUPPPPP" to appeal to those boppers who saw "Scary Movie".

-RAW Hype-

Oh joy, we'll get to see more innovative booking by the WWF. Yes, that was sarcasm, as we will just continue the SAME STUFF over and over and over and over. You know, the WWF is really lucky that Vince Russo is running things down at WCW. Because if someone who was qualified was running that federation, the WWF would actually have to put on good shows again. They would have to give effort, but that's absent since WCW doesn't have the balls anymore to step it up.

We'll probably see more of a possible teaming of the Rock and Triple H, who have feuded for the past 2 years. Also, more hinting of Eddie Guerrero as an evil fiance to Chyna, more of Stephanie leaning towards Angle, and much more of the same repetitive stuff that continually wins ratings. Why? Because this system hooked into NEW fans in 1998, and therefore, the WWF does NOT have to worry about losing viewers.


-Nitro Hype-

Oh my God!!!! Vince Russo will put himself over again!! Joy!!!!!!!!!

If you look at the WCW.com preview, they make sure to say "because of Russo's injuries, he's relinquishing the WCW title". I'm sure Russo used his pull with Bill Banks to make that wonderful line. That WCW title is forever tarnished, as you should just drop it instead of having a stupid tournament OR whatever Vinnie Roo thinks will get ratings. If they try that 4 Corner boxes match, I'll be in tears laughing.

Oh joy, we get Jeff Jarrett and Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf vs. Beetlejuice and a Mystery Partner. WCW is just trying sooo hard to get ratings! Gee, I wonder if that partner will be Sting, hmmmmmmm. By the way Sting, how about showing up for a Thunder every once in a while?

Now if time is given, Rey Mysterio vs. Juvy in a ladder match will be great. But if there are plenty of run ins or if it's cut short so that Russo can put himself over more, than it won't be any good. Nuff said!

For the horrible Hardcore Title, Reno will be facing A Wall. Get it????? A...Wall? Get it? A Wall?? Yay. I remember when A Wall (get it?) was getting shoved up to the top, and now look at him. He's a guy behind General Rection in the MIA. Gee, that brings a tear to my eye.

David Flair will announce the first SUSPECT of his investigation of "Who Knocked Up Ms. Hancock". Notice I said SUSPECT, as this one revealed will turn out to be NOT the real father. Remember, Vinnie Roo said he's dragging this angle out with LOTS of swerves.

This show, like last week's, will be painful to watch. It's so sad that on Russo's GREATEST OPPORTUNITY to fight the WWF last Monday, he put on a half assed show. Just wait until the WCW sale is official for the final nail in the coffin.

ECW Anarchy Rulz

Yipee!!! Jerry Lynn is the new ECW World Champ. No more Credible as Champ!!! YES!!!!!!!!! Lynn will now aim on another tough feud with the King of Oldschool, Steve Corino. However...

Rob Van Dam got the shaft last night. Here is a guy who has been busting his ass for ECW since 1996, and the least you can do is to have him go over Rhino. But nooooo, Justin Credible came down and thus, we extend this feud. Can you give him a damn World Title shot please??? He's your top company man, and you crap on him. ECW is so lucky that the WWF and WCW are NOT interested in him due to his "420 habits". How much longer will it be for him to even get a World Title shot?

The rest of the card was typical ECW, with what appeals to have nothing shocking happening. It's funny to see Joel Gertner win, as I was wondering what role Sandman would play. I went 3-2 this Pay Per View, as I guessed RVD and Cyrus to win their matches. ECW added 3 matches to the card, with a few wrestlers not getting on the card.

CLICK HERE to listen to the Wrestle Palooza Audio Show's review of Anarchy Rulz!!!

One more spot left at the Phat Pharm. You can apply by sending your tryout columns to PhatPharm@lordsofpain.net. When you apply, don't just ask for information, look around on the Phat Pharm for the requirements section, and then send in your sample column. Also, don't send me "can I write for your site", as I will only consider those who send in tryout columns, which I have been asking for.

@That's all for today. I shall return to my Monday Night Impressions this week, as Calvin and Nick covered it well last week during my vacation or whatever. So until then, check out Non Santioned at the Phat Pharm!!

Phat Pharm: CLICK HERE for the Latest "Non Sanctioned", which discusses Bret "the Hitman" Hart

Take Care, and Thanks for Reading Everyday.

Mr. Tito 2000 Exclusive to Lordsofpain.net