3 more days......

Welcome, everyone, to another edition of the Phat Daily Column. Today, we'll discuss RAW, as the WWF attempted to spike the ratings following a Pay Per View, because lord only knows they need it. Of course, their various attempts, especially lately, have been a bit short. Let's all thank the dumbasses who write the show, the me, myself, and I McMahon family, and the WWF Good Ol' Boy Network© for ruining what could have been the best wrestling federation possible.

Oh, what is the Good Ol' Boy Network© that I'm always referring to? Well, WCW had it, your local community probably has it, along with everything else. They are a group of individuals who are especially afraid of change, thinking that old ways of doing things are how to run an operation, like a wrestling federation. For example, the WWF Good Ol' Boy Network© consists of wrestlers that have been in the WWF for ages, along with old time WWF road agents who have been around the sport for years. When they see new wrestlers, like the ones from ECW and WCW, they feel threatened to lose their spots or to change the federation that they felt comfortable in. Therefore, they'll do everything within their power and seniority to put a stop to any change, even when it's for the better!

This arrogant movement has murdered what could have been one of the best angles in the history of the WWF: the Invasions. Take a look at Booker T and Diamond Dallas Page, who were two big name wrestlers from WCW. Instead of building them up, they were forced to job to WWF's big name stars or humiliated by those same stars, in efforts to kill the attention towards the strength of the Alliance. Hell, look at the Alliance now: they've been so watered down that they've become pawns for Steve Austin. His heel turn for the Alliance didn't mean anything, because the Alliance was embarrassed enough, as it was, to not seem like a big threat when a WWF star joined them.

So instead of compelling wrestling, we are treated to the same old stars, wrestling the same old matches, and beating the same old opponents. We could have had great storylines, with some heated WWF vs. ECW/WCW feuds, but the WWF, namely Vince McMahon, dropped the ball, for letting a big opportunity go by. Even worse, Vince will eventually enlist the services of Scott Hall and Kevin Nash, which will only make matters worse because they are both old, love to start shit backstage, and enjoy partying whenever possible.

But that's just wrestling, and a big disadvantage of having just one federation now, which bought up its competition. When Vince finally sees his millions disappearing out of his wallet, it could be too late, especially when all of the loyal wrestling fans, and not the stupid 1998 "sports entertainment" fans, are gone.

Speaking of WWF mistakes, let's review RAW.


Opening interview..... *YAAAAAAWWWWNNNN* Somebody hand me some caffeine. I guess Vince McMahon and Monotone Linda McMahon are back together. Oh boy, I can't wait for them to set up, yet another, divorce angle down the road. The McMahon parents have apparently had it with the McMahon kids running things. Wow, they keep proving my point: the McMahons fear that they can't run the company without themselves in the spotlight. Stephanie McHooters and Shane McMahon come down to say whatever. Steph's chest was rather mis-shaped during this segment. I guess the purpose of this segment was to hype a "winner take all" match at Survivor Series. My question is this: what is there left to take?

Digression #1: Here's my suggestion for a "winner take all" scenario at Survivor Series. Why not book a whole bunch of WWF vs. ECW/WCW matches, with an odd number, like 7, and then tally up the victories to see who wins. Sort of like the WCW vs. Japan competition at Starrcade 1995. Of course, that would lead to Austin vs. Rock as the 7th and important match. Bad idea.

Our first match of the night was Mighty Molly/Ivory vs. Lita/Trish Stratus. Poor choice of opening match. Boring women's bout, which really served no purpose, like the whole division has shown recently. Eventually, Lita and Trish won, with a big "I could give a shit" look on my face, after the match was over.

Hmmm... I wonder where the WWF is going with Matt Hardy and his weird meetings with other ladies. You can't blame him for having his jaw dropping for what he's seen. I'm sure LoP's own Turtle2Hug is hoping that it breaks him up with Lita.....

What a Gore by Rhyno on Kurt Angle!

Mick Foley just doesn't seem to funny, to me, whenever he makes any television appearances anymore.

Here's a good question: why did you have Billy Kidman win the WCW Cruiserweight title, in the first place, knowing that he'd job it away 2 weeks later? Oh wait, the WWF goes on the booking on the fly system. My bad. Kidman vs. Tajiri was decent, but the lack of heat for Billy Kidman, since the dumbfucks who write the show couldn't place Kidman in any angle to hype his re-appearance on WWF shows, really killed the overall look of the match. Tajiri won, in which I shout: BIG DEAL!

Diamond Dallas Page FINALLY made his way back to the WWF arena, after doing many segments about liking him and slowly dogging the fans. Kane would then come out, and after DDP tried to be positive with him, Kane kicked his ass. Oh joy. DDP is back to where he was when he once left: Kane and Undertaker's punching bag. What a joke. Let's review what's wrong with the Diamond Dallas Page situation:

  • Diamond Dallas Page could have stayed home and been paid millions, but instead, he took a buyout, for a lot less than what he could have been paid if he stayed under contract, and then signed with the WWF for a lot less to wrestle for them.
  • Diamond Dallas Page has done everything that the WWF has told him to do, and he never once complained, even when getting embarrassed by Undertaker/Kane.
  • Diamond Dallas Page's "wrestling ability" was wrongfully criticized by the Undertaker, who hasn't wrestled well, himself, since late 1997. Undertaker is the guy who brought in the shitty tag team known as Kronic, and for his matches, the Taker needs someone to always make him look good.
  • What a joke. The WWF had absolutely no idea what the fuck they are doing anymore. If it weren't for the Jericho win at No Mercy, I'd retire from watching this shit! I'm serious about that.

    Next match was Kurt Angle vs. Rhyno. Oh boy, we are already depushing Kurt Angle. Way to go WWF. You really know how to make stars. Angle won the United States title by getting revenge on Rhyno, who gave Angle the nasty Gore earlier. The US title... wow, what a credible title, especially for someone who just held the WWF World title a few weeks ago. Yipee!

    To make the show even worse, Bradshaw just wins the European title, from Hurricane, out of no where. Sure, the Euro-belt has been worthless, but what exactly will Bradshaw do with the title? Chalk one up for the Good Ol' Boy Network©.

    Happy, Happy..... Joy, Joy. Undertaker and Kane beat Test and Booker T. Oh my, I'm jumping for joy on this one. Let's keep flushing the better, younger, and more entertaining stars down the toilet. And I'm not even thrilled to see the Tombstone, back for one appearance. Big fucking deal. Nice of Kane to "get back his heat" from Test, who beat him back the night before.

    Next match was Rob Van Dam vs. the Big Show. Talk about bumping around for your fatass opponent. Big Show is the biggest sloth that professional wrestling has ever seen, and there have been plenty of those in contention. The finish was kind of cool, as RVD blinded Big Show with a fire extinguisher, and then hit the Vandaminator. Nice air on the 5-Star Froggy Splash, too.

    At WWF NY, Maven announced that he'll be taking a trip to the WWF developmental system. I hope that makes the Good Ol' Boy Network© and the fans who think that Maven shouldn't be where he's at happy. After his announcement, Tazz jumped him. I bet that by the time Maven is ready to compete in the WWF, Tazz won't be there to wrestle him. Tazz will have to face Al Snow on Smackdown. Let's see if this is the rebirth of Al Snow, as a wrestler.

    GREAT backstage segment with the Rock and Chris Jericho. Nice psychology where Jericho handed the Rock the WCW title nameplate of his, and where the Rock gave Jericho a chair for their rematch. This feud is the only reason to watch the WWF right now, period. Everything else sucks beyond belief.

    Our main event was the Dudleys against Chris Jericho/Rock, in a match that nearly put me to sleep. Rock and Jericho got the win, as we experienced a good 4 title changes in one night. I might add that nobody gave two shits about each of the titles that changed hands, by the way. After the match, we saw more tension between the Rock and Jericho, who now have the task of defending the titles with each other. That should make for good television. Too bad the rest of the WWF stuff sucks.

    LAST WORD: Yecch! How bad can RAW get anymore? This is like 3 weeks, in a row, of really bad shows. At least Smackdown has better matches to save face, while RAW is absolute crap. The only thing I really cared about, on this show, was the Rock and Jericho feud, and I had to wait until the end of the show just to get that. I'm giving this show a


    for the so-called effort the WWF gave to provide an entertaining show, with one of the most incredible rosters of talent in the history of wrestling. McMahons are stupid.

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    @Oh lord, what a horrible show RAW was. I only pray that Smackdown makes up for a bad RAW, once again. I guess the loss of the "Is WAR" part has killed the spark of the show. Nah! More like the refusal to change the format or style of wrestling has done that. See you tomorrow with whatever.

    Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

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