Welcome to another delightful edition of the Phat Daily Column. It's been a long day already, since I have a very early morning class this quarter. Why do professors even schedule such early classes? I used to be a morning person, but once I graduated from High School, I lost that ability to wake up bright and early. Why? Because it's fun to stay up when you're older, and watch such great shows as Conan O'Brien, Unsolved Mysteries re-runs, taped WWF shows from what you missed by going out or working, and the 1 am or 2 am edition of Sportscenter. Can't live without that.

Speaking of shows, I'm really digging Star Trek: Enterprise. It's well worth the hype that you see on WWF Smackdown. By far! It's the not the top rated UPN show for nothing, even receiving a higher rating than the purchased Buffy the Vampire Slayer. To keep a reoccurring theme going, let's keep in mind that UPN was screwed until WWF Smackdown came along. Why? Well, just put it this way: they considered Star Trek: Voyager as their "flagship" show. HA!

And by the way, have you seen any of the commercials for TNN, which air on such channels as UPN? Mostly WWF stuff shown, with a little Baywatch and Star Trek: The Next Generation shown. Plus, they have Torrie Wilson doing a good bit of stuff in it, which shows that the WWF is quite satisfied with picking her up. Hell, I'm satisfied with the WWF picking her up too.

Wow, look at all of those tangents. Well anyway, before I bullshit any further, on to the PDC for some Apples and the usual Smackdown hype.


-RAW received a rating of a 4.5, which is BARELY up from last week's number. That's for one of the biggest RAWs in history, folks. Yikes. I thought that the WWF somewhat wasted some segments, like having Scotty 2 Hotty vs. X-Pac on the show, along with a dead crowd moment with the Lita vs. Mighty Molly match. I'm sure the midcarders will take most of the blame, since Austin's big return just can't be the reason for the small increase (sarcasm).

On a small digression, the WWF failed attempts at shooting the ratings up will only convince the WWF that Kevin Nash and Scott Hall should be signed, if not as soon as possible. Now that's scary. If I was a young wrestler, with loads of potential but no ability to play backstage politics, I'd fear for my job or spot in the WWF right now once they come in.

-Back to the ratings. Mtv Heat did a weak 1.1 rating, with Chris Benoit on the show (damn), and Excess continued to suck, for they received a 0.7 rating. Just pitiful. The WWF seriously needs to have some creative meetings about all of this wasted airtime. I bet you that Mtv Heat lost ratings because fans got wind that Steven Richards vs. Crash Holly might be on the show (I'm kidding!!!!!).

Digression #1: Sometimes, while writing the column, I open the old Winamp to listen to whatever Mp3s that I've downloaded lately. Just after I wrote the last paragraph, I must have double-clicked something on Winamp that I shouldn't have, and I got the Microsoft BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH on my Windows. Thank God I've been clicking save about every few minutes, or you wouldn't see me today.

-I'll tell you what, the Legends of Wrestling video game is looking good. The fact that the game has Ricky "the Dragon" Steamboat should be enough reason for anyone to buy this game. It makes me want to buy a Playstation 2 already! Oh wait, it doesn't: the game is made by Acclaim. Yuck. Acclaim has been struggling on wrestling games lately, and I have a feeling that we could be headed down the same road here. Speaking of Acclaim, my local Walmart is selling the 2 ECW games for dirt cheap. I laugh at it every time I see it! I wouldn't pay a small amount of money for those games. I might not take them if they were offered for free! (Well, I probably would)

Ricky "the Dragon" Steamboat in a video game though. That's just soooo tempting though, even if the game, as a whole, is shitty. It's even better, now, since Hulk Hogan just signed a deal to be a part of the game. I'd love to control Steamboat and just beat the living shit out of Hogan in a video game. Now that's fun. Hell, I could have a dream match of Steamboat versus Bret Hart, who is also in the game. Steamboat vs. Bret Hart COULD HAVE happened, but the WWF made a joke out of Steamboat when he returned, overpushing the Dragon gimmick in the early 1990's. That's such a shame!

SMACKDOWN HYPE! (Spoiler Free)

After the GREATEST RAW in the history of Monday Night wrestling, how can Smackdown be even better? That's easy: don't have filler matches or bad "sports entertainment". Besides, I'm confident that Smackdown will be a better show, especially since Thursdays have such stiff competition now. They MUST put on good shows every week to keep their rating above 3.0, or else dumbass Viacom will start scratching their conglomerate heads. By the way, didn't I say that Smackdown saved UPN already?

Hopefully, we'll hear why William Regal helped Austin win the title. If no explanation, then a FINGER OF SHAME will head in the WWF's direction. But really, if they do a poor job explaning the Regal heel turn, the same problems will come up when Austin didn't explain his heel turn the night after Wrestlemania 17. Those who forget their history are condemned to repeat it.

I'm VERY interested in seeing what Chris Jericho and the Rock are going to do. On RAW, they argued over their lost tag match, and got into a backstage brawl. Jericho badly needs a new direction, and good television will come out of someone challenging the Rock's superiority in the WWF.

3 matches have been booked, with more obviously forming on the show.

First, we'll see the Dudley Boyz versus Big Show/Spike Dudley for the Tag Titles. Rumor has it that this could be a No Mercy match, too, so we COULD see a title change here (I have NOT read the spoilers yet). Just assuming something from what I've read. I hope there's a title change, because the Duds are quite stale anymore.

Then, we'll see the return of Billy Kidman! Cool! He'll be facing X-Pac, who will probably be tired because he wrestled a filler match against Scotty 2 Hotty on RAW (Again, I'm kidding!!!). Like the previous match, Kidman and X-Pac are rumored to be having a match at No Mercy. Therefore, the titles could change hands. I bet that they will have a Pay Per View meeting since X-Pac probably told the bookers and the McMahons that he personally wants a win over Kidman, to make up for their previous Pay Per View bout, where Kidman won.

Finally, we'll be seeing a return bout between Maven and Tazz. Wow. If you get an incredible reception, and you're just starting out as a wrestler, then you'll be brought back. The funny thing about last week's match was that Vince McMahon actually wanted Maven to go over Tazz. However, the WWF Good Ol' Boy Network© convinced Vince to have Tazz win. Looks like Vince will get his way after all, as I can't see Maven getting pounded twice in a row. I'll agree with many other columnists: get Al Snow involved in this feud!

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@That's all for today. I'll be back with a FULL Smackdown review. Until then, why not chill till the next episode?

Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

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