Welcome, everyone, to another fun filled edition of the Phat Daily Column. Today, we'll take a look at RAW, although that look could be one of disgust. Yes, I'm afraid so. If you are weak to seeing harsh criticism towards a bad show, then you might as well turn away now cause it's gonna get ugly!
How ugly? On to the PDC.
Just to digress before we rip RAW apart, I'm just amazed at how many video game commercials there are on WWF television shows, especially RAW. Especially tonight, as Playstation 2 had plenty of ads going around to combat the Game Cube and X Box. What makes it funny is the fact that video game ads are the majority of the WWF sponsors now, meaning that the once regular sponsors have long since left the WWF in the dust. If it weren't for the video game sponsors, who would help the WWF pay the bills now?
Opening segment of RAW saw Ric Flair and Vince McMahon talking, and Flair was pissed about how Vince looked down on Flair, despite only owning the same amount of the WWF as Flair did. Vince would say he had a way to make it up to Flair, whatever that meant. Odd segment.
Instead of Vince, Stephanie, and Shane all putting themselves over on ego-trips, we get more of Vince McMahon ego tripping since the kids are gone. We get a senseless description of Kurt Angle's career, which we heard MANY times when Angle was a heel before. GET NEW MATERIAL!!! Then, Vince said he'll get Steve Austin to join his "Kiss My Ass" club, later on tonight. If you don't see how much Vince loves himself, just from this segment, then you are a brainwashed wrestling mark.
Next segment saw the former Alliance members in a panic about getting attacked by Austin. Ric Flair would then make his first of two live appearance of the night, assuring the former Alliance members that Austin wouldn't interfere in their matches. This isn't criticism towards the Flair angle: get more of Flair on television!!! The buzz about Flair's return shot up the RAW ratings nearly a point, and all you can have him on the shows are in the first 30 minutes? Oh wait, I forgot... Vince McMahon needs more television time for himself. My bad.
The first match of the night was Jeff Hardy versus Christian. Weak match from these two, as it seems nearly impossible to make a good match out of the limited amount of time they are given to develop a match. The ending was absolutely ridiculous, too, as Jeff Hardy fell off the ropes when Matt Hardy was shoved into the ring post. How in the hell is that going to knock someone off the ropes? What, the vibrations of the post, shook the ropes? At least make it believeable, people! After the match, we had more bad Hardy acting.
Next, it was Rob Van Dam vs. D'Von Dudley for the Hardcore title. Match was decent, given the short amount of time handed to this match. This "hardcore" match featured nothing you haven't seen before in a WWF "hardcore" match.
Backstage we go, as the former Alliance members are all in the bathroom together to protect themselves from Steve Austin. Then, the Big Show walks in to take a piss. After that, D'Von walked into the restroom, hurt from his match, and it distracted Regal's "aim" and pissed all over Big Show's leg. The WWF should do a drug test on Regal since his urine was green. This would set up a match between Regal and the Big Show for later on. Oh baby, nothing like some cheap "sports entertainment" to set up a wrestling match.
Stacy Keibler versus Trish Stratus was next, and it was apparently a Lingerie match. However, like the Cage match at Survivor Series, the rules changed as the match went on, and Trish eventually won on a pinfall, even after stripping Stacy. Sure, the fans win by seeing both ladies in their panties, but it's nothing they can't see in any magazine, internet site, or anything on television. Stacy and Trish are NOT wrestlers, and their extremely sloppy matches aren't gaining ratings. It's funny how the WWF operates. They felt that the Alliance wasn't working out, so they canned it. However, when the Women's Division isn't gaining ratings, they keep it!
Man, the Rock's promo towards Vince McMahon was horrible! A woodchuck nibbling on his scrotum? Have a deer shove its antlers up his ass? Just terrible material there, and the crowd wasn't responding, as much, to it as they do on other Rocky stuff. Chris Jericho would come out and try not to say anything funny, which is hard for him to do whenever he turns heel. Rock would finish the segment with lots of repetitive catch phrases. *Yawn*
And the Test push down our throats continues! He fought Edge tonight, and Edge was decent at carrying the modern-day Kevin Nash in the match. You disagree that he's a modern-day Kevin Nash? Just watch the match, and look at the corner sequence where Test did all of the Nash trademarks. Did Edge get the win over Test? Of course not, for it was a stupid disqualification finish. Test won't lose, as long as he keeps giving good head to Shane McMahon.
After the Test and Edge match, we witnessed Albert and Scotty 2 Hotty save Edge from getting attacked by Test. Oh my gosh, you know what that means.... Test vs. Albert. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Someone better supply Jim Ross and Michael Cole with some extra Vasoline for that match, for we'll hear about how much potential that both guys have. Yeah, that's why the crowds go out of their way to be silent for all of their matches. Stupid WWF.
Next match was the Big Show against William Regal, which stemmed from the pissing events earlier. You know who is really getting pissed on lately? The fans. Anyway, the match was yet another throwaway, which saw the odd return of Booker T, who helped Regal win the match. I guess Vince has added Booker T to his "family", which he probably told Regal before the match. As much as I like seeing Booker T back in the WWF, the return was pathetic.
Corny, yet funny segment with Lance Storm working at WWF NY. It's a shame that Storm was buried on WWF television, once Austin took over the spotlight of the Alliance.
The Main Event or last match was Rock/Kane versus Kurt Angle/Chris Jericho. It was a handicapped match, pitting Rock vs. Jericho/Angle, but Kane was added because of his heat with Angle from the Smackdown match WEEKS ago. Although it was Kane's best match, I'm sure that many of the short attention span WWF fans have forgot about it already. The tag match was ok, I guess, but it lacked the spark to be anything worth getting excited about. Rock won off his DDT, which should be more of a legit finisher than his Rock Bottom or People's Elbow. Rock currently has the best DDT in the business. Rock attacked Jericho after the match to build up their Pay Per View first round match.
And then, we are embarrassed with the most humilating segment in WWF history. It's bullshit like this which makes me question myself as a wrestling fan. Just take a look at what happened. First, they waste around 10 minutes with jokes about Steve Austin's beer breath and how it will affect his ass kissing. This extremely slow build up leads to a nutshot on Vince McMahon, which makes Jim Ross laugh. Angle and Vince want Ross to kiss Vince's ass, which leads to the Undertaker coming down and he spoke total nonsense. Undertaker would then turn heel and help force Jim Ross to kiss Vince's ass, and afterward, Vince did a silly dance.
Does anybody see anything wrong with this? It's not even quality Sports Entertainment. I really wish that someone would tell me in advance when the WWF would put on a horrible show like this. Hell, I knew I should have read the post on Major RAW Spoilers so that I didn't have to watch this show.
The Undertaker heel turn was a joke. For one, the WWF has done some many heel turns lately, it just doesn't matter any more. Secondly, the Undertaker's attitude and character aren't going to make the heel turn pull off like it should. Do you think he'll act like the cowardly heel? Do you think he'll purposely lose now that he's a heel? Nope. Will he have the mic skills to put himself over as a heel? Hell no! The Undertaker couldn't even explain himself on last night's show before he attacked Jim Ross, so how will he handle himself after that? He won't.
RAW Phat Stats
Clean Wins: 4
No Contests: 0
LAST WORD: Vince McMahon has completely lost it. He no longer has what it takes to provide quality wrestling entertainment anymore. Although Vince has one of the most incredible talent rosters, ever, in pro wrestling, he feels the need to put himself over, continually. That's just fine, because the ratings will continue to slip, and it's likely that the spiked numbers from the Flair return, will come back down to earth. I'll give this show an
This show is easily up there as one of the worst RAWs ever.
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@That's all for today. If you feel that I'm negative, so be it. But once the ratings and buyrates continue to slip, you'll eat your words or thoughts. It's a shame that the WWF has so many people brainwashed on their current content, or else they'd have empty arenas everywhere they went. See you tomorrow with something.
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.