Welcome to the latest edition of the Phat Daily Column. Today, we'll take an unfortunate look back at last night's Survivor Series, as if it tried to be a breakthrough show or not (not!). I will restrain myself from cursing, as much as I can, because it could get ugly.

I'm free!!!!! No more classes until early January!!! Yesssss!! I took 2 finals today, and my right arm is numb as hell from writing so much. Not only do I type fast, but I can write very fast. Hell, I filled up 1 and a half bluebooks in one class today, within an one and half hour span. Typing a long wrasslin' column certainly won't help, but I do feel compelled to write about last night's show.

I've got a lot to say about last night's Survivor Series, so on to the PDC!

SURVIVOR SERIES is TITO

Actually, it "isn't Tito", because after what happened last night, I don't want my name associated with Survivor Series.

First match of the night was Christian vs. Al Snow. Although it was a good bout overall, it would have served a better purpose if it wasn't created on Heat before the show. Christian is a pure heel now, as he's that pretty boy that the fans just can't stand, especially when he's on the mic. Al Snow had some good face pops, as his role in Tough Enough 2 must be heavily pushed if the WWF ever wants to make Snow a full time superstar one day. Christian won, thereby making him exempt from the massive firing that would occur later since he has the Euro title.

Next match was Tajiri vs. William Regal. These are two wrestlers I'd never want to face, if I was a wrestler. Each wrestler, in the short time given for the match, got their licks in. Still, it wasn't too strong of a match, with Regal getting a win off a powerbomb out of no where without any real build up towards a good finish. After the match, Torrie Wilson came into the ring, and reminded us at how she's NOT a professional wrestler by, again, ackwardly taking a powerbomb. She should be paid to look great, which will sell posters/magazines, and not to take a beating like a wrestler.

Test vs. Edge was next. Probably the best non-gimmick match of the night, with some good stuff on the false finishes. Edge would later get the roll up win, letting us know that he's in need of a better finisher than his impaler DDT. I really hope that the WWF considers dropping the IC title name in favor of the United States title. The "idea" of the IC title or the aura of it has left it a long time ago. Sure, the United States title was a piece of garbage throughout WCW, but it's better suited for times like we have right now. Plus, the IC belt looks ugly.

The next match was Dudley Boyz vs. the Hardy Boys in the cage. These two teams have exhausted their rivalry too much for me to even care. The booking for this match was pitiful, too, as the WWF kept changing the rules of the cage match. First, it was a pin first in the ring match, with both teams following the tag format. Then, it was an all out bedlam, with everyone trying to escape the cage. After Matt escaped, Jeff would later be pinned, thus declaring the Dudleys the unified champions. It's bad confusion, like this, which leads to poor ratings in the long run. I hope that the WWF pushes a storyline between the Hardy brothers, where Matt goes bonkers about Jeff costing them the possibility of unemployment and for the title losses. Good spot from Jeff Hardy off the top.

The Immunity Battle Royal was the absolute joke that we witnessed next. First, the winner was made obvious when Test entered himself into the Battle Royal by mugging Scotty 2 Hotty. Test will always find a spot on the WWF roster, thanks to his close real life friendship with Shane McMahon. What's even worse is that Test does NOT draw a time as the fans' most loved or hated wrestler, and it makes no damn sense to continually push him until he finds an angle of his own. He's nothing but a really young Kevin Nash, minus the partying attitude and with a little extra moves in his arsenal. And guess what? Test won the battle royal too! Wow, what a coinidence! He eliminated Billy Gunn, the runner up, to win it all. I was set to go home and retire if Billy Gunn was going to win this.

And a BIG FINGER OF SHAME to the WWF, again, for trashing Diamond Dallas Page, again. They had Chuck Palumbo eliminate him in the opening minutes!!! I can't believe it! Chuck Palumbo has had more locker room problems than DDP, like being disrespectful in his early days in the WWF and for his bad timing issues within the ring. I guess since he's the new butt-buddy tag partner of Billy Gunn, I guess it's ok to have him toss over the Diamond Dallas Page, the biggest miss by the WWF since the debut of Vader 5 years ago.

The Women's Six Pack match was next, as I could just smell the buyrates in the air. Jazz, formerly from ECW, was the mystery wrestler. Oh, what a surprise! Did you hear how silent the crowd was, especially when Paul Heyman worked hard to put her over on commentary? The women's match was horrible as usual, especially with a Trish Stratus getting the victory. She is NOT a wrestler. I guess it's just extra gold she can now wear on Excess, a show that nobody watches at all. Not an impressive debut by Jazz, whatsoever.

An EXTREMELY disappointing Main event with Team WWF vs. Team Alliance. The match was just so boring, especially when it became painfully obvious that it was going to be Steve Austin vs. the Rock for a long period of time. It bored me to tears!!! Better yet, the finish was garbage, with Kurt Angle pulling the swerve so that he can stay in the WWF. Very unoriginal finish, and the match only had a small spark when Chris Jericho attacked the Rock after he was eliminated. After the match, it was clear who had to bask in all of the glory: Vince McMahon and the Rock, while the rest of the fed was backstage. Interesting, no?

What's even funnier is that this angle won't mean anything. Steve Austin still has the World Title. Test won the Immunity Battle Royal. Dudleys won the Tag Titles. Rob Van Dam is still the Hardcore champion. Christian is still the European champion. Basically, we are dwindling down to the roster before the Invasion, besides Rob Van Dam. How about that? The same old stale characters, over and over again, fighting with McMahons. That's what will happen.

Guys with great potential will most likely be left out in the cold, like Booker T, Diamond Dallas Page, Lance Storm, among others, unless the WWF writes a half-assed storyline to keep them in, along with the rest of the Alliance members who were held back by the jealous WWF superstars, who were sagging the product before the Invasions started. The toilet is flushing, and if it weren't for a nearly sold-out Wrestlemania 18 to get to, the WWF would see financial troubles the likes they've never seen, especially as the product continues to suck, week after week.

RAW HYPE

Tonight continues Week 2 of Jim Ross's promise for "compelling and exciting" shows. Compelling to him, with loads of McMahons and lame sports entertainment to get him wet as he commentates. Speaking of commentating, the addition of Jerry Lawler would be heaven-sent to the WWF right now. I hope it happens, although Paul Heyman was an awesome heel commentator, while he lasted.

I really hope that Ric Flair shows up, too. The WWF badly needs a fresh face around, since they absolutely crapped all over the WCW stars who jumped aboard from the beginning. It's badly needed to get wrestling fans talking again, because lord only knows that last night's Survivor Series didn't quite do that.

Don't expect Mick Foley to be done with the WWF, yet. I have a feeling that after the interview we saw on RAW, Vince McMahon got a hold of Mick and aired out their differences. Mick promised that he'd be at RAW, and I believe that a face-to-face confrontation will occur between those two in a worked-shoot of some kind. Hey, Vince is desparate, and he'll go the WCW route to try for cheap ratings by now.

Just note that Steve Austin will be back into the federation tonight. He's still the World Champion of the WWF, you know. Hopefully, the McMahon kids will be gone, but Stephanie will probably return whenever Triple H returns. The WWF should have brought the Game back last night, but like every bright idea, it went past them. Bringing Triple H back, tonight, would be big! I'll be very pissed off if Shane finds a way into the federation, and not in a "love to hate" way.

Look for an opening jack-off interview by Vince McMahon tonight, as he'll continue why he's letting his own million-dollar company go down the tubes.

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@That's all for today. I'll be back, tomorrow, with RAW backlash, as I'm predicting a disappointing show. Hopefully, Ric Flair and Jerry Lawler will put a smile on my face. Triple H, too.

Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

Mr. Tito 1998 - 2001 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net