Welcome to the oh-so late edition of the Phat Daily Column. If I sound like a zombie today, well, I just took two mind blowing finals, so I'll probably be a little off today... Speaking of today, it's WWF Day, where we'll discuss the wonderful world of WWF. Your help will be used too, since you could vote yesterday to determine parts of this column today. Yes, your vote counts here...
And with that vote, there are NO corrupt brothers or Governors rigging the vote, no WWF supporting secretaries or elected officials cheating, nor are there any stupid punch-hole ballots. It's all done by technology, thanks to the wonderful fellas at FreePolls.com. How about them apples?
On to the PDC.....
Since I can't watch Smackdown, thanks to the nice Time Warner cable down here, I won't be able to say much. I once looked at what COULD have factored the voted grade, but I got told off by many individuals, so that won't happen today.
The only thing I can say is that it looked like a typical WWF Pay Per View hype show, and we'll leave it at that. :)
Firstly, they talked about the Presidential election, and Mick suggested that they fight in a Hell in the Cell match for the presidency. Wow, I sort of suggested a cage-type match, but since Mick has fond memories of those kind of matches, I won't claim a damn thing.
Next, Conan was simply amazed at how many injuries Mick had received as a wrestler. He discussed them all, and them mentioned the ear. Mick said he could hide the missing ear when he had longer hair, but once he got it cut, the whole world could see it, and I guess it was somewhat embarassing. So Conan decides to waste the segment by having Mick, once again, describe how he lost his ear. Why don't you read the book or watch the MILLION other shows that he discusses this on, Conan???
While he's talking about it, some idiot celebrity, who was the first guest, was getting grossed out. If she wants to really hurl, she should watch Mike Tyson biting Holyfield's ear for an more nasty thing.
They then quickly rush talking about Mick's book, and how an odd controversy has occurred with it. Apparently, some parents, probably the PTC..oh wait, that's television, don't like the naked elf on the cover and in the book, mooning Santa Claus. So Mick talks about how Dewey took a copy to donate to the school library, but it was turned down thanks to that elf and some swearing in the book I believe. It's #8 on the best seller list for Children, I believe, as we'll probably hear Jim Ross bragging about it in his Ross report.
All in all, it was a bad segment since the boring torn off ear story took up most of the time, not to mention a weak non-wrestling audience at the Conan Studios.
I also don't think much of Rock vs. Rikishi, since Rikishi is a proven failure. For one, the racial angle doomed him from the start, because why would he just use that as an excuse? Two, Stone Cold has already beat Rikishi, why have the Rock receive Sloppy Seconds. Yuck, I don't like how that sounded, but you get the point.
Even better, the WWF is shoving things down our throats now. RTC gets pushed to the moon, despite a lack of crowd enthusiasm. Talented guys like Benoit and Guerrero, have been depushed to a stable. Then, Kurt Angle, who is your WWF champ, is the most vulerable heel champ ever, showing no signs of uncertainty of winning a match. Oh, that's what the WWF wants when they make him fight a worn out Undertaker?
Things are obviously on a downturn from the WWF, and that can be thanked to the lack of competition, the return of Steve Austin, and the protection of the Rock. It's just like in 1993, where the WWF misused some of their best talent, while still protecting Hulk Hogan. Also in 1993, WCW totally bottomed out, like they have today. Need I say more?
Yes I do. Many of you consider me to be a bad or negative person. You ask me why I watch wrestling, or how I can even stand to watch it without bitching all of the time. Just look at the obvious stuff. The ratings are down....which only means that the product they are putting on television isn't AS entertaining as they think. With the competition weaker, you can't just escape watching a bad RAW segment....you turn to Football, or whatever CBS or FOX tries to stack their Monday television line up with.
Then, you have the attendance numbers at the arenas. Obviously, the demand to see the shows are down. Before, they'd sell out in 5 Minutes. Now, they aren't selling out at all like they used to. You say I'm sooooo negative, but the fact of the matter is that the WWF must be doing something wrong, right?
That's my whole point. When I nailed the WWF for turning Triple H, I hit them because it didn't make sense in terms of the storyline. If it was such a blockbuster, then why are the numbers in decline? Oh wait, let's blame TNN for that one. The flaws in the storylines, and not to mention shoving RTC, T&A, Steve Blackman, and an outdated Stone Cold Steve Austin down our throats is really hurting the WWF in my opinion.
The WWF has the best young talent, BY FAR, but yet nobody isn't allowed to get a slight rub off the top guys, like Austin or the Rock. You know, that's exactly why the WWF got nailed in 1993, and that was putting too much stock in Hulk Hogan, without letting the young guys to shine. They did it a year later at Wrestlemania 10 with Micheals, Razor, and Hart, but it was too late by then.... just like it could be really soon if the WWF doesn't do something.
Of course, the only way the WWF will improve is if they get a nice kick in the ass again, like if WCW just so happens to keep improving in the ratings. Of course, with idiots running WCW and the far possibility of ECW ever becoming a contender, we could see this downward slide continue....
But why do I keep watching? Call it being an addict, since I've watched since the mid 80s. I generally enjoy what I'm seeing, although many think I'm sooo negative about it. When I see a good match, I mention it. When I see a well done angle, I praise it. When I see a good show, I give it a great grade. I critique it, because why? That's my job, writing a daily column about wrestling. That simple.
Of course, I do go overboard, and I'll apologize for that. Many English teachers say I write with lots of emotion backed up, and if I see something annoying to me, it seems like I shoot my mouth off. So if it offends you, I'll straight up say right now and forever, I'm sorry. But remember....they are just opinions, and we all have them.
5. Chris Benoit- 9% of the vote. Shame he's in the Radicalz now, and it's a shame that the WWF didn't try hard on some sort of gimmick or attitude while pushing him as a "wrestler".
4. Crash Holly- 10% of the vote. If there was ever a time to call for a recount, this spot is where you do it. I guess two 'joke' title shots will give it to you.
3. Kurt Angle- 11% of the vote. I guess continually made a fool as WWF champ gets you the #3 spot. Oh please let him beat the Undertaker this week, and not get any more stunners.
2. Steve Austin- 13% of the vote. Holy Cow, Austin is moving up the charts! I guess destroying Eddie Guerrero twice in one week can take you somewhere?
1. Chris Jericho- 20% of the vote. Now *I* don't agree with this, but what can I do. I couldn't see Smackdown, therefore I won't discard this like faulty ballot. I guess you guys are just eating this Kane feud up, eh?
People have no idea who Ricky "the Dragon" Steamboat, who I keep referring to as a wrestling God, Click Here to learn more about him.
@That's all for this late edition of the Phat Daily Column. I'll be back tomorrow to make a Quantum Leap to 1997, where Bret Hart got "screwed" at the Survivor Series. That way, I can forever end explaning the situation to newer wrestling viewers.... Thanks for reading, and I'll see you tomorrow!
Phat Pharm: NEW "Gimmicks Die Hard" is up, and READY to Read. Why not Click Here???
Take Care, and Thanks, again, for reading.