Welcome back to the ONE and only Phat Daily Column. Yes, these columns keep coming to you, even on the Weekends. ECW had their TNN show last night, and I have the usual impressions, Phat Stats©, and grades for the show. This and more on today's PDC, so let's get on with it!


-The WWF pulled a 5.1 for Smackdown this week, as it gained some national attention with Arnold Schwarzenegger or however that's spelled. I just hope this isn't what the WWF bases all of their shows on with celebrity appearances and such. Arnold is an exception, and more or less a one time thing, so it really was a hit. Ask WCW what celebrities really do for ratings. Gee, I really wonder if the extra national attention saw what the Bossman did Thursday. Anyway, good job WWF this week on getting a 5.1 in a very competitive market.

-Let me say this on bold so that everyone understands. The Undertaker is NOT retiring from the WWF, nor is he jumping to any other federation! Why does everyone keep believing this? It's not a day that goes by that I see a report or whatever claiming that the 'Taker has made the jump to WCW or that's he's retiring due to injury. Can't the man recover? Just because he's taking a long time off doesn't mean he's leaving. Duh, injuries take time to heal, especially what this man went through. So remember, the Undertaker is NOT leaving or retiring from the WWF. Just wanted to get that straight. :)

-From Calvin's Torch reports you saw that Chris Jericho, despite all of the denying by the WWF, is in real heat with other wrestlers and management backstage. He seems to be in real heat now with Triple H, as he gave his girlfriend, Chyna, a lovely blackeye when taping Smackdown. He's also being blamed for throwing Stevie Richards out of the ring too forcefully if you will. I also keep hearing about how he's a whiner and a kiss-up backstage. Well, we'll see if there is any legit heat this Sunday if he wins the Intercontinental Title. If he doesn't, then you know that there are problems with Jericho. Of course, he could win the title just so the WWF can keep denying that there are problems.


-Thunder kept par with a 2.1 rating this week, as you could say that everyone, but me, was watching Arnold on Smackdown. Thunder could also be the victim of replay system, as for me, the replay came on an hour later after Thunder ended the first time. Many people theorized that the replays used to really limit Nitro's rating back in the day. I thought Thunder was ok this week, with too many quick matches again. Like I keep saying, it lacks the star power that Nitro has. Those damned guaranteed contracts to not wrestle Thunder!

-Oh boy, more eye candy for WCW to play with as they signed the former stripper called Ryan Shamrock in the WWF. Wait just a second! Didn't WCW make a huge fuss about Chastity being a former porn star? In my mind, a former stripper is the same as a porn star, if not worse! So I really hope that Ryan Shamrock takes the same criticism that happened to poor Chastity. Oh wait a sec, Vince Russo runs the show now, so I guess it's ok, right? It's an unfair world sometimes.

-As I reported the other day, the name for Berlyn's bodyguard will be Mercedes Diesel. Yes, a bodyguard with the name of Diesel. Reminding you of Diesel protecting HBK back in the day, eh? Well, not for me. Berlyn doesn't match any of the charisma that HBK had, and this Mercedes Diesel has some potential, but he's really helping a loser win all of his matches. But hey, maybe they can be tag champions together...like another duo did. Maybe Berlyn can eventually win the US title too, and then lose it to someone, have Mercedes Diesel win it from them, and then accidentally hit Mercedes Diesel in a match to cost him a title. I could go on forever about the parallels. I'm sure they will be on their own track so to speak, but get Berlyn some weights and some wrestling skill please!

-Wow, I guess that rumor I kept hearing about the woman coming out to save Booker T on Nitro being Harlem Heat's sister was true. That should make for an interesting angle, but I really hope that she doesn't cheat for Booker T like Chyna did for Triple H. Booker T has the skills to carry a match on his own, and he doesn't need that extra cheating force like Triple H has always needed.


I thought Taz said that Dreamer hated headshots as Dreamer slammed his head against that metal container many times. Somebody's wrong.

Steve Corino is the biggest wimp of a heel that I've ever seen. Good thing that Jerry Lynn defeated him, or I would have been really mad. I guess there was no love lost between Tajiri and Supercrazy with Jerry Lynn from November to Remember.

Nothing like an ECW parody as they had Cyrus in the Creative Developement or whatever saying that Joel Gertner should watch his job commentating.

Super Crazy vs Yoshihiro Tajiri was a great wrestling match, as both had many moves to hit each other with. Didn't we see these two wrestle on TNN before, and haven't they wrestled on Pay Per Views a few times as well. Uh oh, these two are now suffering from RVD-Jerry Lynn syndrome where they keep fighting each other over and over. In their case, they switch off wins though. Anyway, I really love the submission hold that Tajiri does on the ropes(I'm not about to spell it). Tajiri wins this week, so there's no telling who will win when they fight again..probably next week.

The Baldies are easily the worst heel group that I've ever seen. God, they are so lame. I really hope that New Jack, Balls and Axl really kill these guys, and maybe extinguish them from ECW as well.

Rhino vs. Sandman was a decent match-up, as it's good that Sandman is back in ECW. It ended in a no contest, as everyone had to run in on this match. Dreamer tried to make the save, and he got destroyed as well. Raven came in and made the save, only for Sandman to attack him....

Which leads me to the WORST Raven segment ever. Yes, I've followed Raven from his before stint in ECW, the whole time in WCW, and now back at ECW, and that was his worst ever. He kept whining and crying about how he did the right thing. To kind of quote Tom Hanks from a League of their Own, "There's no crying in Wrestling!" I swear, Raven said "I did the right thing" at least 50 times in a row. Sad joke there.

ECW on TNN Phat Stats

Matches: 3
Clean Wins: 2
Screwjobs: 0
Disqualifications: 0
No Contests: 1

Last Word: God, I thought ECW wrestlers were supposed to show their toughness, and not whine like a few of them did. The Super Crazy-Tajiri match was very good, as it will help this show's grade in my eyes. I liked the end of the Rhino-Sandman match, but it was ruined by Raven't crying at the end! What's with that? But anyway, I'll give it a


since it was slightly better than last week's show, but there still is LOTS of room for improvement. I predict that this show will get a 1.0 in the ratings.

Notes from Tito: Next week, look for a few Phat Biography reviews, as A & E will feature some great Biographies on wrestlers like Owen Hart, Steve Austin, Andre the Giant, and I think another one. I already did the Andre the Giant one, as I easily gave that one an A+. A & E really makes a good biography. If you never saw the "Untold Story of Professional Wrestling" done by A & E, you should go out and buy that one or rent it, because it's the best wrestling documentary ever! Also note that LoP will be having Survivor Series results and play by play tomorrow night.

@That's it for today, so I'll see you tomorrow with my Survivor Series predictions. So until the next column, just chill till the next episode.

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Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

Mr. Tito © 1999 in association with Lords of Pain