Welcome back to the ONE and ONLY Phat Daily Column. The wonderful Monday Night just went by, and you know what I have in store for you today: Impressions, Phat Stats, and Grades! Not only do I have this, but I have a very special ratings analysis for a certain federation who can't seem to get the ratings these days. Well anyway, let's discuss these topics, so on to the PDC.
But first, thanks to whoever held up the sign at RAW last night!!!
The hint of Goldberg was in the air, but I knew he wouldn't show because he claims he isn't ready for camera yet. So I knew there was some other cracker driving the monster truck, and I doubt Goldberg would be able to back it up like that driver did.
HA! You know what I thought of when the Millionaires' club pulled up in the bus? No, not the DX Express, but one of those older people touring buses! HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Ahem. Opening scene was rather interesting, with DDP getting his and Kanyon selling that horrific bump from Slamboree. Yuck, nothing like getting urine spilled on you! Later on, Bischoff gave us a VERY BORING interview. DDP comes down to save the day, but there are too many. Then, Sting, for some odd reason, saves the day along with the untalented Kronic.
God, that Terry Funk vs. Norman Smiley/Ralphus rematch was terrible!
Ric Flair gives one of his "I did this in wrestling, and back in my day, we did this in wrestling" speeches. Oh shut up already. We get the point. We know you busted your asses to provide us the great sport we have today, but there is no need to continually rub off of it each and EVERY week. Just wrestle and shut up! As for David Flair....talk about recycling angles! We are back where we started when the NWO turned David Flair on his father, which in turn means that no new and fresh angles can be created here.
Oh my God, Main Event Chuck Palumbo? Might as well push El Dandy instead.
Misfits equal Oddities. More repetition. Russo is a smart writer you say? Even better, WCW pulls a stupid screwjob with Hennig helping out Stasiak! First they feud, and now they are friends! Like many wrestlers in WCW.
Oh God, the Filthy Animals are officially reunited. Anything else that has failed for Russo in the past want to come back?
DDP took some mean shots from Mike Awesome. Mike Awesome was present throughout the night, and he should be. Glad they aren't burying him like every other ECW World champion.
How about some more recycling? Let's have the Steiner Brothers feud!! What's even funnier is that Russo is trying to somewhat make Big Poppa Pump a face! I like how Scott Steiner was suplexing Tank hard, and Tank kept trying to get up. You got a real performer in Tank WCW. Whatever.
Kronic is nothing but taller and in better shape Harris Brothers. Don't worry, you'll hear reports of wrestlers complaining on the stiffness and the no selling of Kronic. Just you wait....
Gee, didn't Hogan and Nash feud the last time we saw them on television together. Oh wait, the storylines were erased, so no need to remember that! Good old Juvy came back, and he got his good.
I did like how APA turned on the FORMER BROOD for the first match of RAW. Good tag match too, which resulted in the FORMER BROOD getting the DQ win. The FORMER BROOD(please get a tag team name Edge/Christian!!) are really shaping into a good heel tag team. Those 6 second poses are classic!
Chris Jericho gets the McMahon screwing tonight, as he gets to fight not one, not two, but 3 matches tonight. He lost a wonderful screwjob match in the third bout with the man, Chris Benoit, which makes me wonder why Benoit even lost the title at Smackdown.
Wow, I never thought I'd actually want Too Cool to win a match until the fought Bossman and Buchanan. Good job Too Cool!
Eddie Guerrero needs to ditch that stereotypical Mexican voice. That's making his character appear too false and too lame. When he was talking to the other Radicals in that voice, I was just shaking my head in despair. Speaking of the Radicals, Saturn and Malenko are heating things up...too bad the crowds don't cheer for their lack of energy for their disputes.
God, the matches with Brisco and Patterson were very predictable, with other wrestlers joining the fun. Brisco got his revenge on Buh Buh, who got heat for his stiff powerbomb from last Smackdown. Patterson really needs to wipe his ass! That was sick!
You notice how long the Nitro impressions are, and how short the RAW ones are? I guess that shows you who is trying hard and who is relaxing on top.
Man, I was harsh this week. Overally, a very lackluster night of wrestling by both federations.
-Well, now we get to see a Triple H vs. the Rock "60 Minute Ironman Match". Can we say BORING? I'll tell you now that I'm not a big fan of the first Ironman match at Wrestlemania 12 with Bret and Shawn. Although both put on a long and good performance, it bored me to death. This comes also to the fact that Bret Hart and HBK didn't fight at the pay per view before this, which will hurt the Rock and Triple H. I have a good idea for the match at Judgement Day: have lots of pinfalls, submissions, and everything else. That's what bored me with the WM 12 match. They dragged it out with nothing until overtime with Bret and Shawn, when they should have pinned each other to death.
-Thank the Lord, Tazz can rehab his torn bicep, therefore, he will only be out for just 6 weeks instead of 3 months with surgery. Again, it's a shame that it happened since that Intercontinental title was as good as his, and his popularity was really exploding.
@That's all for today. I'll be sure to be back tomorrow with some Ratings Analysis, along with more PDC to go around. Just chill until the next episode! Yes, I do overuse that phrase! Proud of it too!!!
Phat Farm: NEW "Hindsight" to Read, so CLICK HERE AND READ IT!!!!!!!
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.