Welcome to another edition of the Phat Daily Column. I am your host with the most, Mr. Tito. Today, we'll discuss and review what was a horrible edition of Monday Night RAW, starting off the era of "World Wrestling Entertainment" on a horrible note. Ooops, I gave away the spoilers for the rest of my column.
On a sad note, may former WCW referee Randy Anderson rest in peace. Anderson was a great referee, and he was hailed as the most honorable referee during the NWO era. WCW has recently lost 2 of its great referees in Mark Curtis and now Randy Anderson. Very unfortunate.
This week in the movies, Spider-Man destroyed box office records, making $114 Million from its first 3 days of release! That's just utterly insane, and it makes the Scorpion King's April debut record look very small. I bet you that the producers of Spiderman are mad at the timing of the movie, though, because it won't be able to challenge the Titanic record with Star Wars: Episode 2 coming out next week. Now, I WISH that it would break Titanic's record, but that's another rant. Of course, even if Spiderman beats Titanic, excuses will be made about higher ticket prices...
On to the PDC.
RAW started off with the opening match of Trish vs. Jazz. Have these two ever fought? I guess Richards and Jazz are now a couple? Richards must need glasses. Speaking of Richards, he has really hit the gym lately. Typical Jazz vs. Trish match, with Jazz's new boyfriend or sexual associate helping her win by Steviekicking Trish. Who in the WWF doesn't have the superkick now?
Since Richards was the champion, that would get Bubba Ray Dudley coming down after the match for the Hardcore Title, thanks to the 24/7 rules. Bubba wins the title, only to get attacked by Raven, and then lose the title. Justin Credible runs in and hits the SUPERKICK on Raven to become champion, too. PDC favorite Crash Holly would run in and beat Credible for the Hardcore Title. Then, in a rather entertaining moment, Crash tried to tell Bubba to "get the tables", only to get a HARD trashcan shot to the face. Not ripping Crash there, as I thought the spot was just hilarious in general. Trish Stratus would get the pin for the Hardcore title. That would then get Bubba's hormones going, and he just destroyed Stratus with a powerbomb through the table. O-U-C-H. Richards would run over to get the pin, winning back his title. Bubba would then remorse over the fact that he nearly killed Trish.
Although I'm not a mark for the 24/7 Hardcore Title, given that the gimmick has been badly overdone by now, I liked the moments when people were just running in and destroying each other for the title. At least there was some hardcore stuff to the title wins, with some really hard shots and a nasty table spot on Trish. I'm sure someone at the arena said "I came to see a Women's bout but a Hardcore title match broke out of it". Good entertainment, and probably one of the few brightspots to RAW this week.
The New World Order would hit the ring next... The Big Show would try to explain why he turned... uh oh. Although Big Show put some good effort in for the promo, and then cited how he was the champ when Austin was hurt and how the WWF has kept him down, yadda, yadda, yadda, it didn't come off to strong against the "WHAT"-saying crowd. Of course, that's hard for even some of the best wrestlers with mic skills, so against the Big Show, it came out worse. Big Show didn't cite any history with past NWO factions, by the way...
Next match was William Regal vs. Spike Dudley for the European title. I guess Regal attacked Spike after the Insurrextion match, thereby having Spike injured tonight? Regal made short work of Spike, beating him with a half crab on the injured leg. Ok. D'Lo Brown would then run down and save Spike from further beating. Regal did mention that he was the greatest European champion ever, which probably prompted D'Lo out there since he took the European title very seriously. I loved when he had it on his tights. It's great to see D'Lo back, as his character is much fresher now than before. Just get rid of those pink knee pads....
Very strange segment at a local 7-11 with Booker T and Goldust. Nice of the WWF to get a cheap plug for 7-11 here... Goldust did look funny all dressed up.
Next match was Shawn Stasiak vs. Brock Lesnar. More Insurrextion madness, as Stasiak was a partner for Brock at that show, and running in the ring too fast after Heyman told him not to do so. Lesnar would just destroy Stasiak, and actually get the pin, too, with the cocky one foot pin. Jericho had the best one foot pin of all time, where he'd pose while doing it. Stasiak's new music is very odd...
And now, the show completely went down the toilet. Hulk Hogan, with stolen Undertaker motorcycle and all, rolled down the ring and cut a miserable promo. I see why the Teenage fans are leaving in a hurry! Oh boy, I can't WAIT for Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan, 2002. The Undertaker would come out and threaten Hogan to give him back the bike. So what does Hogan do? He tries to drive up the ramp to the Undertaker, maybe to act like he's trying to hit him. But wait, that fails, as the motorcycle actually stalls! HAHAHAHAHA!! How embarrassing, as Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler were then shown to half-ass explain what is going on.
Oh, it gets WORSE! Hogan would then drive the piece of shit motorcycle around backstage, probably a taped segment, and find a semi-truck. Since Hogan can drive those now (since when?), because he destroyed the Rock's ambulance with one, he decides to now run over the Undertaker's motorcycle. Man, this stuff is getting worse by the minute! The Undertaker would find his bike later in the show, and give a reaction that would generate Pay Per View dollars! (sarcasm!)
Next match was Rob Van Dam/Jeff Hardy vs. Eddie Guerrero/Booker T. Jeff Hardy is going crazy with the hair dye! Decent match overall, but not nearly as good as what the Smackdown midcarders put on last week. Finish had some interference with Goldust, which took out Booker T from making any saves, with the finale of Eddie Guerrero taking a Swanton and 5-Star Frog Splash, one after the other. Sweet!
The toilet flushes some more... next, it was Terri and Molly Holly having a Swimsuit competition, and you know it's going to be a meaningless segment when Jerry Lawler is in charge of it. Molly, playing her moral character, wore a 1950's swimsuit and even had a cap on. Terri wore the usual g-string bikini. I remember getting worked up about her looks like 5 or 6 years ago. Now, she just doesn't compare with the younger divas in the WWF, such as Torrie or Stacy. The segment ended with Molly attacking Terri. Joy.
Finally, we have our main event of Ric Flair, Steve Austin, and Bradshaw against Scott Hall, X-Pac, Big Show. Before this match, the WWF poorly played up the fact that Bradshaw was turning, clearly showing that Ric Flair was up to no-good that evening. This match just dragged, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. What a horrible show overall. Flair would eventually turn on Austin, not officially joining the NWO though, and then set up a Judgment Day match of Big Show/Ric Flair vs. Steve Austin.
LAST WORD: Not a good way to start off the WWE... The stuff with Hulk Hogan was just terrible to even live through, and the bad attempts to create shock value, such as the Flair turn on Austin and bikini contest really hurt this show. Only a few good spots in the show, with the rest of it going down the drain. I'll give it a
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@I wonder if a fan put up a couple thousand to the WWF, if he could too win the Hardcore title. I'll be back, tomorrow, to run my mouth some more and probably give a response to the many WWF fans who will flood my mailbox from hatemail for giving this show a D. Can't wait!
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.