Welcome to the Saturday Edition of the Phat Daily Column. It's Memorial Day weekend, so I hope you are all enjoying it. Anyway, today's column with discuss many things, including the wonderful ECW on TNN, which will probably suffer from this holiday weekend, like it does from any other holiday. Oh well, on to the PDC
Jim Ross stated that Kane is doing well from his broken hand, and will be teaming with the Undertaker shortly! Oh my. Hey, does Kane now have to dress up as a member of DOA too? Hmm, I wonder what the motive will be for these two guys teaming up? They've had a long history of teaming up and feuding, so what could make them a steady tag team? I bet this tag team is to mainly get the Undertaker some in ring work since he's been gone for so long. As soon as he wants to be singles, he'll probably start feuding with Kane again. Ugh.
Ross also said that Austin will not be back before Summerslam. Hmm, that contradicts what I said in the first paragraph, but you never know with good ol' J.R. He's well known for his swerves in his Ross Reports, as many on WWF.com are. If this is true, then maybe re-hab is going slowly? Either that, or the WWF has confidence in their current situation. Yikes.
Here is something I agree on with many people: the WWF has a bunch of wrestlers who have fans wondering who to cheer for. This is a big problem for the WWF, and that's why you many matches without any pops. Take for instance, Head Cheese. Before the match, Al Snow is playing the crowd to chant "Head Cheese", but during the match, they wrestle as heels. The Radicals, especially, suffer from it. They are in the WWF and trying to get over with their "wrestling ability". Little do they know that the WWF rides on gimmicks and attitude. That's why a lot of Malenko and Saturn matches get no pops because the fans are confused. Then, you have Chyna and Eddie Guerrero, who are supposed to be heels, and then wrestle Edge/Christian as faces. Hmmm, maybe this is a good reason why many, including myself, calls the WWF stale.
The L.A. Times, yesterday, reported that
Billionaire Ted Ted Turner was unhappy with his current status at Time Warner. Ever since he sold most of his media assets to Time Warner, he has felt that he hasn't been a major force within their company. Well, I'd disrespect you too Ted if I was CEO of your company. WCW, which was Ted's federation, gave Time Warner their only losses out of ALL of their assets in the recent quarter earnings release. Now that's BAD, since Time Warner owns many many corporations and media services.
After the opening monologue, we get Steve Prazak(?) interviewing Justin Credible. Credible tries his hardest to do his best heel Triple H impersonation, but it's not working! Then, Simon Diamond is shown in the men's bathroom. He's tired of not being considered a tough wrestler. (insert joke Here) Now he wants a partner, and doing that, many fools come walking out of the stalls to ask to be it. After a few jabronies and 3 Musketeers(?), Johnny Swinger says he'll help out! He must have been hitting the weights or something, or I haven't really seen him much?
Our opening bout is between Masato Tanaka and Balls Mahoney. This match was a slugfest! Great moves, and the finishing movies did NOT work tonight. Tanaka also took a mean chair shot which would have cracked anybody else's skull. The match had a awesome finale, with Balls setting up thumbtacks on a table to possibly superplex Tanaka on. That fails, and we get a VERY DANGEROUS Tornado DDT by Tanaka on Balls, through the table with tacks on it! OUCH!! Spectacular match, with Tanaka obviously getting the win after that one.
I think that match took a lot out of TNN's system, because we had many commercial breaks after that match. I mean MANY. Let me think of the segments....oh yeah, one was the Sinister Minister talking. Then, Big Sal comes in attacks the Minister to find Mikey Whipwreck. Whipwreck hits Sal with a FIREBALL, and Sal was dropped like a bad habit. I'm curious...does anybody else miss Tracy Smothers in the FBI like I do?
There was another Prazak interview, and that was with Tommy Dreamer. Dreamer was in a fowl mood, and throws Prazak out. I think Prazak is a weird mixture of Michael Cole and Vince Russo. He looks like both, and acts like both. Maybe he's their love-child? I'm kidding.
Next match is Tajiri versus Jerry Lynn. It was supposed to be Scotty Anton versus Tajiri, but the Network is sooo cruel. Speaking of Anton, there was proof that Paul Heyman can help out anybody's career. Anton was clapping like he did as an American Male. Then, he mentioned that he was out to give everyone the Clap! Oh my, that was hilarious! I hope ECW rides that gimmick, cause it could be funny in the long run. Cyrus, that evil Jackyl he is, schedules Jerry Lynn to take Anton's place. The result...an excellent match with Tajiri! Lynn and Tajiri are very talented, and at times, still underrated. Very stiff match, and they continued this angle where Jerry Lynn MIGHT be in cahoots with the Network...but he might not have seen the interference to help him win the match.
The show sort of ends weird with yet another Prazak interview. He's talking to Raven, who will be out of ECW shortly, about Justin Credible. Francine, with the camera literally up her dress, comes in and confronts Raven. Raven then grabs her hair, and BAM, Singapore cane of Doom for Raven's head, thanks to Justin "I want to be cool like my Kliq friends" Credible. Dreamer tries to make the save, but same thing to him. I don't care how gimmicked those canes are, they sound and look like they hurt very much.
@That's it for today. Enjoy your weekend, and just chill....till the next episode!
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Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.