Welcome to the latest edition of the Phat Daily Column. I was surprised that I didn't get blasted for my Backlash review, for the readers agreed with my review! Hey, I was being totally honest about what I viewed Sunday Night, and wasn't trying to be purposely negative. Yes, I'm not pure evil like many have suggested.
The Wrestlemania book will get reviewed, but not so soon. Thanks to the wonderful crew at Ohio University, I have a nice pile of school work to attend to first, and I'd be hurting if I just went off and read the whole thing. So far, I have the first 5 Wrestlemanias read already, but that's been spread over time. Be patient, and it will get reviewed!
The damn computer froze on me for my original intro, which makes me point Fingers of Shame in the right direction. Let's get RAW, so on to the PDC.
Before we review RAW, I just want to take time out and salute Mr. Nick Ponton. After tonight's great RAW report, Nick is retiring from LordsofPain.net and internet wrestling in general. Nick Ponton is the BEST RAW reporter, ever, online, as nobody came close to his professionalism and wrestling knowledge when doing the reports. He'll definitely be missed by myself and the rest of LoP, and I only wish him the best of luck to anything he does in the future. Great job Nick.
Not a bad opening moment with Kurt Angle acting like Bret Hart, since there was unnoticed overtime in his match the night before. Chris Benoit came down to make sure that we'll see a 3rd boring match at Judgment Day. I think the WWF could have done well if they put on the "rubber match" right there and then, but instead, they kept the angle alive with Benoit taking Kurt's medals. Maybe that could add some much needed humor from Benoit if he taunts Angle with the medals later on, but we'll see if the Crippler is willing to give into "Sports Entertainment".
Pretty solid match between Edge and Matt Hardy, as expected. I really liked the booking of the ending, with Christian being rolled into the ring to end the count, and then Matt Hardy nailing the Twist of Fate for the win. Later on, Edge and Christian were arguing about this loss, as they could solve a lot by going to the Production truck and asking for a replay. But that's too easy. Anyway, they did a good segment when Angle was pissed off about his medals, and the evil trio may be finished.
Pretty funny segment with Trish Stratus and William Regal backstage. Looks like Trish has been watching Mallrats way too much lately, for she's named after a character (Trish the Dish), did the dating game on Heat, and now, she told Regal how small he was just like Rene hinted to Brodie about his size. Geesh!
Another good match on RAW (WOW!!!), as we had Spike Dudley vs. X-Pac. Hey, those are two pretty good small wrestlers. Wouldn't they be good for the Lightweight division? Of course, but X-Pac must wrestle Heavyweight, remember? The ending, just like the Hardy/Edge match, was pretty well booked, with X-Pac avoiding the ACID DROP and hitting an X-Factor. Clean wins, left and right, for X-Factor. The WWF is really pushing for these guys to be the toughest stable around. However, the WWF better hope they don't ditch credibility of the Dudleys, who have fans screaming for them every night.
It's quite interesting of the WWF to actually apply make up to Stephanie to sell that vicious big boot. I guess they bought too much of that make up, which is what we saw on Kane's arm later. ANYWAY, to get revenge on Test, instead of Kane, for helping her brother Shane win the match, she's sending her husband after him. As history has shown, Test and Triple H have NEVER been allowed to put on a decent match together. It's always destroyed by run ins, cheap DQ, or just nonsense. Last night was no different, with Triple H disqualifying himself to really beat down Test. I swear, a good match between these two won't happen! Vicious powerbomb, however, by the Game on Test through the table.
I'm sure a lot of Jerichoholics will be pissed off at the fact that their man, Chris Jericho, is wrestling in the Hardcore Division. Well, it's not like Jericho has done anything, whatsoever, to advance his character. He still acts, wrestles, and talks like he did as WCW Chris Jericho, so why push someone to the moon who hasn't improved himself? Same goes for Benoit, anyone from ECW, or anyone else who expects to earn a push. Where was I? Oh yeah, Rhyno got the big win tonight, as he was helped by Edge and Christian to get the win. Wow, we're 3 for 3 on well booked endings tonight.
Actually, I was thinking I'd give the WWF an A or a possible A+ for this week's show up until this point. However, the show lost its momentum thanks to.................
A wonderful McMahon interview. I don't know what's worse? Watching the Penguins screw up in the 3rd period to the Sabres, or watching this boring interview. Vince and pals just gloated about the night before, and then, we got Monotone Linda McMahon in WWF New York to finally put us to sleep! After just killing us about her so-called divorce with Vince, she booked the Undertaker against Steve Austin instead of Kane, since Kane had bruising make up on his arm. Well, way to give us a Judgment Day preview, I guess?
Funny stuff with the Hollys and the APA. Farooq cracks me up whenever they are playing cards. It's especially hilarious, considering none of Farooq's other gimmicks showed any sense of humor. The Acolytes got Crash drunk by playing cards, and Crash's cousin, Hardcore Bob, came in to make some sense of the situation. Hardcore Bob would then call on the APA for a tag match with Crash as his partner, which is a bad move, even with Crash sober. The Acolytes just pounded on the Hollys, in a match where the crowd was confused on who to cheer for. Bradshaw got the win, which makes me wonder when he'll break off as a singles wrestler. I guess Farooq's knees keep holding up? (In real life, Farooq has bad knees, which some say may be replaced once he retires)
By the way, I found it rather odd that Howard Finkle was making the announcements tonight. I guess it's a move for ratings? The show sort of sounded more professional with him around, although Lilian is a pretty good announcer.
Do you want to know what's funny? The Undertaker said "Austin knows he can't be me one on one". You know, that's odd, because I can recall a clean win at Summerslam 1998 for Stone Cold over the Undertaker. Oh wait, Austin is playing the heel now, so I guess the fact is now true?
Trish Stratus got her ass handed to her by Chyna, in a match to which I predicted would happen last week. Trish will be sore tomorrow, just like she'd feel if she was doing it in the back of a Volkswagon. Ok, enough of the Mallrats references, I promise. After the match, Chyna pretended to have mic skills for one moment, and then lost it all soon thereafter. She suggested that she'll now SPANK her opponents, giving the Russoholics the lesbian hinting they've craved forever in wrestling now! Before Trish could get spanked, Lita came out to challenge Chyna to a terrible mic skills contest! Through all of this babbling and nonsense, Lita challenged Chyna to a match, to which she accepted. Chyna made sure to use the spanking threat to Lita, too, because the interview didn't make sense already. Argh! I was hoping the WWF would build up Chyna as a big heel, and then have Lita take her down. Oh well, I'm just interested on how the two will work with each other, and if a stiff moonsault by Lita will mess up Chyna's plastic surgery on her face, which she makes no mention to in her book.
Don't even dare yell at me for the last comment, because if Chyna doesn't mention having the plastic surgery on her face in her own autobiography, then my last comment is just a figment of your imagination. Thank you very much.
The final match was Undertaker vs. Stone Cold, and leave it up to the WWF to make it a clusterfuck of a match. It's sad, too, because the first 3 matches ended so nicely, but the main event can't even have an ending. Oh wait, Austin vs. Undertaker will be the main event for Judgment Day, so we can't have a finish tonight. After seeing this match, does anybody really want to see Austin vs. Undertaker? Honestly.
LAST WORD: Phat Stats are sort of worthless without competition. Anyway, this show was excellent until the McMahon interview, and after that, it was decent at best. I'll hit it up with a
-Undertaker vs. Steve Austin
-Triple H vs. Kane
-Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit
-Chris Jericho vs. William Regal
-X-Factor vs. Dudley Boyz
-Lita vs. Chyna
-RTC Battle Royal
-4 Way European Title match: Jeff Hardy vs. Christian vs. Edge vs. Matt Hardy
I swear, the RTC battle royal will happen! I can just smell the buyrate there! Lita and Chyna should get it on at Judgment Day, unless the WWF gets a hard on enough to push the match up earlier than it should. I'm thinking that the WWF will hit break ups of both the Hardys and Edge/Christian for some sort of match, as I've listed above.
God, it's hard to guess WWF Pay Per Views a month ahead of time!
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@That's all for today. I'll be back tomorrow with a column, I suppose. So until then, just chill.............
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Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.