Welcome back...to the one and only Phat Daily Column. This is a Tuesday, and with that, we get Monday Night Impressions. Both shows had a lot of hype behind them, one more than the other. For today, let's look at what each federation had to offer, and how they produced for this week's shows. Withoug further ado, on to the Phat Daily Column.

NOTE: If you are going to Thunder or Smackdown tapings tonight, please send in a report to anyone at LoP. Thank you.

NITRO

Wow! 15 time World Heavyweight Champion, Ric Flair. That win literally came out of nowhere, and I thought of a few things afterwards about this new situation. For one, this could be Ric's last run in WCW, so one more title reign was fitting. That is truly a nice dedication to a man who has been with WCW for that long. On the other hand, it seems to be a bad thing for Jeff Jarrett. I thought they were going to build up his title reign? Once again, a short title reign, which could show that Russo/Bischoff aren't confident in their champion.

House of Pain match my ass. That was a BIG flop in my mind, and it didn't even come close to living up the hype. It's funny how they hyped how tough the cage was, but then Sting busts his way through the top with a baseball bat. The action inside was OK, but nothing that would make my jaw drop. in 7 minutes, Sting won that match. 7 Whole Minutes for the many commercials, ads, and hype on WCW.com. Oh yeah, the ratings are really coming in now! Even better, we get Vampiro setting Sting's car on fire. Oh God, this feud will never end.

For those of you who wonder why I bash Kronic, here's why. Did you hear Bryan Adams talk tonight? Good lord, he couldn't get a sentence together to get his point across. Oh yeah, make that 420 reference because you are that stupid. I don't see why they get all of this hype, because they haven't been build up the right way a tag team should be built up. You can't just throw two oafs together and have them immediately dominate. Oh no, High Tide though the table! Who cares.

The Misfits, or should I say FUBAR, are a bad excuse to kill television time. For one, you have Hugh Captain Rection, who should be wrestling World Wide 24-7. The you have Lash LeRoux, who I could careless about his new army name. I liked Lash at first, but I've come to realize that he's soooo overrated. Chavo should be a force in the Cruiserweight division, and Van Hammer....well, nobody knows what to do with that man. To further prove the help that these guys need, they added MAJOR GUNZ to the mix to get the cheat heat. These guys are hopeless. Filthy Animals, on the other had, are way more talented, but as a group, they are just as annoying.

Might as well trash the Cruiserweight Title too, as we will now have a controversy to whether Daphne won the title or if Crowbar did. Oh wait, that was ruined when Ed Ferarra somehow won the title. Oh, my bad. It was a good match between Tammy/Candido and Crowbar/Daphne. Both the women were pulling moves from out of nowhere, and Candido and Crowbar are showing that they can work together well.

The production of Russo, David Flair, and Daphne in Ric Flair's home was so lame. Need I say more?

More proof that Russo can't write was shown tonight, as he continually kidnapped Liz. We've seen this crap for so many weeks. Proof that Russo isn't THAT good with talent was show again, as Chuck Palumbo attacked Luger. Now Lex Luger might not be what he used to be, but Palumbo is still out of Luger's league.

Sid's Heel Turn = Very predictable

Horace Hogan's turn = Very predictable

Get Ralphus back on his truck, and get Norman Smiley back into the ring, and push him to the moon!

Wow, Kevin Nash actually decided to come back tonight in uniform. That's a long time coming. He's the same old Nash. Same moves, same attitude, you name it. Nash's botched powerbomb could have killed Mike Awesome. DDP saved it a little bit, but if Nash did that on his own, we'd have no Mike Awesome to talk about.

Oh my, Shane Douglas will be in control Thursday. Typical heel controlling a show.

There is so much more to talk about from Nitro, but since they jam about 3 or 4 segments in between commercials, I can't discuss them all.

Nitro Phat Stats

Matches: 7
Clean Wins: 5
Screwjobs: 2
Disqualifications: 0
No Contests: 0

Last Word: Good God, where did all of the wrestling go? Interview after interview, or whatever, they barely had any wrestling here. Oh wait, we are now "sports entertainment". WCW has a LONG way before they can climb this ladder to the top. Tonight really showed it. I'm giving this show a

C+

out of appreciation for Flair winning the title. Other than that, this show was bad. I predict a 2.4 in the head to head battle.

WWF

After all of the hype, and all of the begging, Shawn Michaels returned last night. Although that interview wasn't very well planned out with Vince McMahon, it was still nice to see the Heartbreak Kid back working with the WWF. That garbage, which was not allowing Shawn Michaels on televison for making comments on Stone Cold for not letting himself lose to Triple H at Summerslam 99, should have never happened. Stone Cold was in a bad ego trip back then, and somebody had to have the balls to tell it like it is. Too bad it hurt HBK's chances for really becoming a great part of the WWF without wrestling.

I guess I'm too stubborn on the Dudley Boyz as faces. I'd rather them start the trouble instead of stupid T&A. Gee, which is more over there, the faces or the heels. That says a lot there. I guess we are treated to DX vs. the Dudley Boyz at Judgement Day. Ehh.

Lots of interviews in this show, so I won't waste my time bashing the hell out of them. It will just show in the grade.

Angle and Rikishi fight identical matches, I swear. I did, however, like how Angle dogged Cleveland. He had me laughing on that.

Wow, Crash Holly lost the title to a Ho. Now that's BAD. Seconds later, he wins it back. It's funny to see how the WWF loves to make a mockery out of that title.

Want recycling, look at tonight's main event. Vince pulled his "famous" screwjob here, which he has done so many times since he screwed Bret out of the title at Survivor Series 1997(If you haven't seen that, rent that event or get Wrestling with Shadows. I explain what happened there so many times with new wrestling fans).

Phat Stats

Matches: 9
Clean Wins: 5
Screwjobs: 2
Disqualifications: 2
No Contests: 0

Last Word: Even with HBK back, this show was short from spectacular. It's the same stuff, just a different week. Like last week's show, this one bored me again. WWF is getting stale, while WCW is at least trying new things with their stupid wrestlers. WWF needs something new and fresh, and they need this badly before it's too late. I'll give it a

C+

too. I predict high numbers for the first hour, with a 6.4 in head to head action.

Now I'll probably get the e-mail talking about how harsh I am against these shows. However, what isn't understood is what these impressions really are. From the start, which was my 2nd column ever, the Monday Night Impressions were meant to criticize shows, not praise each and everything. When I see something that didn't come across as a crowd favorite or if it just looked bad on television, I'll tell it like it is. I don't hold back from my opinions, and I shill for nobody. No federations slip me a paycheck, while others just happen to be bought and paid for by other wrestling federations. I'm not, and I'll continually tell it like I see it in this opinionated column.

ECW Ratings Analysis

Well, I was right on the money this week, as I predicted a 0.9 for ECW's TNN show, and it was correct. If you are expecting me to trash ECW about this rating, you won't see it this week. As I reported it yesterday, a weird idea popped into my head. For the past few weeks, ECW on TNN hasn't improved in the ratings at all from a 0.9. I'm trying to figure out why, but I could easily strike down every excuse I've thought of. So, I figured out a fun way to maybe figure out what is wrong with ECW on TNN. In fact, I'm going to start a contest, today, which will allow readers to send in thoughts to why ECW on TNN can't get above a 0.9 anymore. We'll call it "Tito's ECW on TNN Excuse Contest". It will be just wonderful fun! Here are the rules: Say Excuse in a couple sentences, and not paragraphs. Paragraphs will NOT be looked at.. That's all you need to do for this contest. I'll choose the best one and I'll post it in a later edition of the Phat Daily Column.

@I've said enough for today. I'll be back tomorrow with more column, so just chill till the next episode!

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Take Care, and Thanks for Reading Everyday.

Mr. Tito 2000 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net