What's Phat, Daily, and wrote by a guy nicknamed after a Jackson 5 member? You guessed it, the Phat Daily Column. Unless you've never read the PDC or have read this with your eyes closed, you should know what today's column is about. RAW is WAR!!
I do miss the option of choice, because I at least appreciated wrestlers like Booker T, O'Haire/Palumbo, and the blooming Cruiserweight division in WCW. However, I don't miss just flipping back and forth so that I could review the show the next day. My remote deserved the break.
I can't think of anything else to say on my introductions, so on to the PDC!
The first 20 minutes hogged up some time for the main eventers, as I believe they took at least 50% of the show's time tonight. After two long entrances, and more bullshit, Austin challenged Undertaker/Kane to a match later that night, to you know, give us another reminder of the disappointing Backlash match. Bad start for this show.
First match of the night was Kurt Angle vs. Rikishi, which was short and ended in a lame DQ finish. Not only is the sports entertainment lame, but so was the match. Hey, the WWF is "killing 2 birds with one stone" for the fans tonight.
Nothing like the WWF whoring their new Divas video for everyone on live television. I thought that's what Superstars or Livewire were for? In fact, the WWF was in full advertising mode, as they are probably noticing that merchandise sales and video sales have dropped lately. Instead of wasting time with commercials, why not make your entire product better to get more buyers? Duh!!
Nice of the WWF to use the Undertaker's real life wife for an angle. I wonder how she feels that the WWF said she was in a car crash? FINGER OF SHAME for the WWF using this as an angle. Garbage, Garbage, Garbage.
Wow, Perry Saturn wasn't punished for his actions. Instead, he gets a match on RAW! I'm sure that will boost morale backstage for any wrestler who felt Saturn's actions were uncalled for. Anyway, he tagged up with Dean Malenko to fight the Hardy Boyz. Will somebody please fucking tell me why Eddie Guerrero is suddenly helping out the Hardys?!?! Even if it swerves something with Lita vs. Chyna, it still is messed up. Eddie helped the Hardys beat the Radicalz in another short match.
Next match was Crash Holly vs. Rhyno in a hardcore match. Crash, who insists that he's not a jobber, laid down for Rhyno tonight. It did set up a possible Crash Holly vs. Spike Dudley match, and if that becomes a Hardcore match, it has the makings of a show-stealer at Judgment Day. That's "IF" it's set up and "IF" it's a hardcore match. It would probably be good otherwise.
Next, we get the match of the night. Hey, guess what workers were involved? Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit fought Edge/Christian in the longest match of the night. Since it had time to develop, it was the best. It's THAT simple. After the match, Benoit practiced "sports entertainment" by fooling Kurt Angle with some candy medals. Look for Angle to make up some half-assed stipulation, and NOT a ladder match, which Benoit and Angle didn't want to do, as reported earlier. Damn it.
Will somebody shove Grandmaster Sex-ay out the same door that his father, Jerry Lawler, walked out of already? His segment with William Regal was one of the worst I've EVER seen. What the fuck were the bookers smoking tonight?
Eh to the Chyna/Lita vs. Molly Holly/Ivory match. Looks like Chyna is continuing to fight the heel turn on Lita, OR we'll see it at Judgment Day. Damn it, the fans WANT to boo Chyna. Why can't the WWF just turn her heel and make the fans go against her? Is it that hard to do?
Lame match with RTC/Big Show vs. Test/Acolytes. Wow, I really want to see Big Show vs. Test at Judgment Day. It's well worth the $30.00 of your hard earned money... NOT! Speaking of the RTC, when the hell will the WWF break them up already? Why keep delaying this?
FINGER OF SHAME to the Main Event tonight of Triple H/Steve Austin vs. Kane. A total pile of shit for a main event, as 2 guys can't even beat one guy. The fans were in TOTAL SILENCE for the match and the ending, which serves the WWF right. What crap!
LAST WORD: Behold, one of the WORST RAWs ever. Go ahead and call me "negative", because when the ratings come out, it's only going to show a decrease, and I guarantee that. Even better, we'll see a decrease in the buyrates for this Sunday's Pay Per View. Hell, we'll probably not be able to see that, for the Cable industry and the WWF are keeping quiet about Backlash's buyrate. Nobody gives a shit about another Undertaker vs. Steve Austin headlining match, nor do they give a flying fuck about another Triple H vs. Kane match. The WWF is in a bad idle mode because everything must be right when the Rock returns. By the time he comes back, the rest of the product will be sooo deteriorated that it will no longer matter. Easy
-Spike Dudley vs. Crash Holly
-William Regal vs. Rikishi
-Test vs. Big Show
-Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle
-Lita vs. Chyna
-Triple H vs. Kane in a "Chain Match"
-Steve Austin vs. Undertaker in a "Lame Match"
Look for a lot of slopping together on Smackdown, since the WWF believes that their fans have the attention span of a 3 year old.
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@That's it for today. I'll be back to laugh at the low RAW ratings, and to do whatever else. Just chill till the next episode.
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Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.