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Mr. Tito's Phat Daily Column
Submitted by Mr. Tito on 5-16-00 @ 09:13 EST


Thanks to Vince Migliore for the Banner!


Welcome to the Monday Night Hype edition of the Phat Daily Column. Both shows are gearing to impress all of us, with the WWF gaining the Rock back this week, and WCW just being WCW. The battle is heating up again, which makes it much better for the fans in terms of overall quality of the shows. Let's take a closer look at the Monday Night shows, so on to the PDC.


WWF


I watched Sunday Night Heat for the first time in a while since I usually miss it thanks to the retards scheduling me on Sundays at work, and I was impressed with the WWF's 3rd ranked show. Here, this is the show that defeats Nitro, which is WCW's 1st rank show, and it was a good show. Hell, it's a place to see the Hardy Boys wrestle in some good matches. Especially the Jeff Hardy versus Essa Rios match. Two of the best highflyers in the business right there. The evil blond duo, Edge/Christian, fought Too Cool, and escaped with a DQ loss. Watching this feud with Angle/Edge/Christian vs. Rikishi/Too Cool is starting to convince me that the World Tag Titles are heading to Too Cool's way. Ugh.


On Heat, they were hyping the Rock's return BIG TIME. "Oh my God, what will he do when he return. What will he do to Triple H?" I'll tell you what he'll do, and he's been doing this for weeks. Triple H and his posse will be talking trash on the Rock, and the Rock will suddenly come out and cut a promo. From that, a match will be formed pitting the Rock and a tag partner vs. Triple H and another tag wrestler. It's the same formula each and every week, only the match is rearranged sometimes to *attempt* to make things look fresh. Not fooling me.


Well, it's about the middle of the month, and that means that the Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels could show up at any time. I like reading his columns(at HBK-TWA.com) since they always say "oh, I haven't discussed any details with the WWF since it's news to me", or something of that nature. Well, I know of a few people who are literally hurting inside just to see HBK return. They have been so addicted to him that whenever the thought of a return comes, they go insane. Well, not insane, just in a panic because the dream of a HBK return gets to them that much.


Rumors of a "strange twist" for the wonderful Ironman Match is heavily rumored to happen tonight, since the WWF loves to add stipulations or special guest referees to matches that keep getting recycled over and over again. My guess is that HBK COULD be introduced as the special referee...but don't get your hopes up because there are no guarantees. The Monday Night grade will be a little bit lower if the announcement happens to be a "no holds barred" match. The WWF has pulled that stunt oh so many times, and yet the buyrates keep going up.


WCW


Oh, I just love the WCW.com preview for Nitro. WCW mentions that Vampiro kidnapped Sting in the ambulance, but he later released Sting during Wednesday afternoon, even though Thunder is *aired* on Wednesday Evening. Yes, I know it's taped, but come on! You have to go with the storylines, and that typo shouldn't be allowed. Also, usually a kidnapping is a crime in any state you go into, but since this is "sports entertainment", what does it matter?


Vampiro has promised to end Sting's career. They get to fight in a wonderful "House of Pain" match, which is basically a hyped up name for a cage match. It should be another good match since Sting still can perform, and his last two main events for Nitro and Thunder have been great. Now, he attempts to FINALLY end this LONG and DRAGGED OUT feud with Vampiro, as I hope either Sting defeats him for good, or just puts him over so that they can both move on to bigger and better matches.


That's all for WCW.com's preview this week, as Vince Russo probably forgot to book the entire show! I'm sure Russo will be doing some wonderful angle with Ric Flair, using the recycled angle from 1999 which deserves the finger of shame. In fact, I have a feeling on how this interview will go down. Here's a parody!





Ric Flair comes to the ring...


Ric Flair: Whoooooooooo! For 100 years now, I've been the man! Not only have I won the title 14 times, but damn it, I've lost it that many too! I've put over the best wrestlers in the world, like Ricky Steamboat, and Sting many many times! I even walked in the WWF without any hype to win the World Title there! Whoooooooooo! As for my son, it's the wrong thing for him to do...


*a terrible version of Black Sabbath's Ironman plays* Enter Vince Russo David Flair.


Vince Russo: Listen up Flair. For 3 years, I was the "creative brain" behind the WWF. With Vince McMahon creating excellent angles and myself just writing a few script lines for him, I ruled the WWF. My success is pouring in from that run in the WWF, since I'm just BARELY better than the Sullivan era. Since my creative brain doesn't have Vince McMahon getting my juices flowing, I am forced to recycle old and unsuccessful angles, now isn't that right my boy David Flair.


David Flair: Yes my Lord.


Vince Russo: To show you Ric why I'm his REAL father, let me prove it to you. Hey David, who's your Daddy? Who's your daddy?


Vince Russo: You are BIG Vince! You are!


Vince Russo: You see Ric, with a carton of cigarettes, I stole your son from right under your nose! Just to screw you over Ric, I am ordering you to fight the Black Scorpion in a cage match tonight! HA!


This segment ends with Ric trying to attack Russo and the New Blood Order happens to run into the ring.





Usually, when a wrestler is pinned in a main event of a Pay Per View with lots of rumors of leaving, he's as good as gone in that federation. Lance Storm was pinned last night by his former tag team partner, Justin Credible, and lots of rumors are pointing to Lance showing up tonight. Will he get a BIG pop on arrival to WCW? Not hardly. He will take lots of time for fans to recognize him who haven't seen ECW. Even if they saw ECW, what can they cheer for? Dawn Marie is most likely staying in ECW. Also, Lance Storm isn't as big or impacting like Mike Awesome, so he'll be hurting there.


ECW


I went 2-1 in my Hardcore Heaven predictions. Not bad, but I won't brag since I had no clue what most of the card was for this event. Knowing a full card before you purchase a Pay Per View can do wonders, as the card helps make undecided viewers' choices easier. But nooo, they have to rely on mostly rumored matches and only the quickly booked main event matches. Finger of shame to ECW on that fact. I'm NOT saying that ECW doesn't deliver, just saying that booking on the night of the Pay Per View isn't very wise to get that buyrate higher.


Holy Cow! Jerry Lynn defeated Rob Van Dam. You know what this means, don't you? Not a parade for Jerry Lynn or a ceremony for RVD's first loss in a long time. It will mean many many more matches between Jerry Lynn and RVD. Oh my gosh, I can just feel the repetition. Yes, they put on good matches, but like tonight, a little time in between makes their matches just *that* much better.
That's the point I'm always trying to get across, yet I get hatemail for it. Go figure.


Well, Justin Credible retained the World Title in a very predictable match. Justin Credible's world title reign really reminds me a lot of Triple H's in that he just acts like him. I don't know if that's the Kliq days rubbing off, or what. I still wish Tommy Dreamer was world champ though. Not saying Credible is a bad worker, but saying that Tommy Dreamer has represented ECW for so many years and he's taken the majority of bumps in that federation. I know he's a humble guy for putting over others, but nobody deserves it like Dreamer. Nobody.


Here's one thing that continually bothers me: Sandman and Raven just aren't what they used to be in ECW. Ever since their return to ECW from their runs in WCW, they seem to have lost a lot of steps. They just don't perform like they used to, and I think the pampering in WCW with their evil and wretched characters have hurt them in the long run. Raven, to me, seems like a very lazy worker now. He's twice as slow as he used to be, and more of a whiner than anything. Sandman, on the other hand, is still doing the same moves that he was doing in 1997 when I was watching Hardcore when I could see it. He does a spot, then takes a break. Does a spot, takes a break. When they are the same spots, it becomes very boring to watch the Sandman wrestle. I don't know, maybe it's just me on these two once talented wrestlers.


@That's it for today. I'll be back tomorrow with those dreaded Monday Night Impressions to dissect RAW and Nitro for what they are worth. So just chill...till the next episode. I know I will.

Phat Farm: NEW and EXCITING Edition of the "G-Factor" for you to CLICK HERE and READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Take Care, and Enjoy your Monday Night Wrestling.

Mr. Tito 2000 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net


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