Welcome to one of the most aggressive columns on the net, the Phat Daily Column. Today, we'll take a look at Smackdown, which is what we always do on Fridays. Actually, we review both Smackdown and Tough Enough, but for stupid reasons, Tough Enough was pre-empted this week.
I caught Spider-Man for the second time yesterday, and when I saw Macho Man Randy Savage as Bonesaw, wrestling Spiderman in one scene, it came to my realization that Macho has finally achieved the unthinkable. Randy Savage has finally beat Hulk Hogan at something! Macho is a part of an incredibly successful movie, whereas all of the movies Hogan had a part in, wasn't even close to the revenue generated to Spiderman, with the exception of Rocky 3, but even Spiderman will make more money than that movie. I'm certainly amazed at that fact.
The Steve Austin What? video looks like a worthy video, and the next time I go for a video, I'll see if it's available. I really liked the 3 previous Austin videos, Cause Stone Cold Said So, Austin 3:16, and Hell Yeah. Especially Hell Yeah, despite Austin drinking and driving throughout the whole video.
It was funny to hear Michael Cole and Tazz trying to explain why the WWE name was changed. They cited that it was from confusion over the "WWF" name among fans, whereas it's really a monetary issue with the World Wildlife Fund for Nature from the trademark. Yeah, so much confusion that nobody in American even knows what the hell the World Wildlife Fund for Nature is, especially since it has more of a stronghold overseas. By the way, with the "WW" logo, what's wrong with just adding an extra leg to the "F" in the original logo to make "WWE" as the new scratch logo? To me, the "WW" just looks so stupid, and makes me want to get the F out.
Well, not really. On to the PDC.
Vince would proceed to tell Triple H that he'd fight Jericho in a Hell in the Cell match at Judgment Day. Despite how half-assed the booking is, it's still a very smart move of the WWE to give some fans the reason to buy the show. Let's hope it's a show stealer.
Our first match of the night was Hurricane vs. Tajiri. Decent match, but lack of heat since nobody cares enough about the Hurricane, due to many months of jobbing him out on television. That's a shame, because he's loaded with charisma to make that superhero gimmick even better than it is now. Backstage after the match, Al Snow and Hurricane were talking, and someone left the Hurricane a letter on who they were. Is this like South Park, where someone sent a letter to Butters or Professor Chaos? Hurricane wins via countout, after Torrie Wilson ditched her Japanese clothes to look insanely hot. Damn.
SMEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL the Ratings! Mark Henry vs. Test was next. Henry is very sloppy in the ring. That body press behind his back was poorly executed, and the splash afterward? Yecch! This is the guy the WWE is pushing instead of the many other wrestlers who are actually in shape and are good wrestlers? Huh? Are we reading this correctly?!? Test won cheaply, as I wonder if they'll stick this pile of shit rematch on Judgment Day as a cheap filler match.
D'Von Dudley would make his way to the ring, with OVW's Leviathan... oh wait, excuse me, his new name is Deacon Batista. Huh?!? Is that the best name they could give this monster, and to make him a Deacon of all things? No need to drug test the wrestlers anymore, as the WWF writers and creative team need to be tested more often. Might as well call him T.L. Hopper or Peter Feltersnatch, but to name a new wrestler, loaded with potential, a hard-to-say name like Deacon Batista? Just horrible...
D'Von vs. Triple H was next. Triple H was selling the earlier attack well, and D'Von was able to dominate with Deacon Leviathan Batista cheating on the outside. In the end, Jericho would help D'Von get a big singles win, and not only that, put more feud on his own feud with Triple H heading towards Judgment Day. Wow, it's not to hard to build up Jericho as a bastard heel, now is it?
Kurt Angle would come out, with tremendous heat, and talk about how he'll make Edge bald, yadda, yadda, yadda. Angle would then show pictures of Edge possibly being bald, only for Edge to start screwing with those pictures to see what Angle would look like bald. Angle would call Edge out, but only to get Hulk Hogan instead. Hogan surprised me tonight, as he actually JOKED about his baldness. That's the first time ever, as backstage reports have said that he's very sensitive about his baldness, which is why he wears that bandana whenever you see him not in the ring. Amazing. That's why when Russo ripped on Hogan for his baldness at Bash at the Beach 2000, many took it very seriously as if Russo was actually shooting, which he partially was at that point.
Next match was Rico/Chuck/Billy against Al Snow/Rikishi/Maven. I can see why the WWF has made Rico a manager. Not for his wrestling ability, but damn, he's kind of short in height. I guess the manager role could be suitable for him, unless he decides to one day attack the Cruiserweight division. Decent six man match, although a tad sloppy at times. Chuck Palumbo performed well tonight. His belly to belly suplex is just devastating, and the Billy Gunn workout program appears to making him much stronger now than before.
Clips of Hulk Hogan smashing the Undertaker's bike were shown. Amazing how much the WWF happened to edit on that segment. Still looked ridiculous in clips.
Randy Orton vs. Lance Storm was next. I like how Storm keeps yelling about how he was placed to bet on Henry for the past few weeks. Storm would announce that Hardcore Holly would be the special referee of this match. Man, just announce that Storm and Holly are officially the henchmen of Vince McMahon, and it would help them very much. Match had some decent moves, but it's focus on cheating the whole match gave it too much predictability or reason to believe that Orton would win. Storm won via the half-crab or whatever his online poll named it after Holly kept the rope away from Orton.
Funny segment with Edge putting on the Hogan stuff and acting like the Hulkster. Lots of comedy involving Hogan tonight, insomuch that it appears the WWF is trying to refresh Hogan's character for the younger fans. Better keep trying.
Our main event was Hulk Hogan/Edge vs. Jericho/Angle. It was good whenever Edge was in there... but I will say that Hogan was at least giving some decent effort, and at 48, with a bad move, and already a bad selection of moves even for the 1980's, it's understandable to see what we're seeing. Match ended with Triple H running down and cleaning house, even Hogan, with the sledgehammer. With Vince's distraction, Triple H would then get pounded by Jericho, again, to end the show. Again, look how easy it is to build up Jericho as a heel.
LAST WORD: Damn, what an improvement over what we saw on RAW! The Midcard was better than most week's, although the Main Event was just OK overall. Jericho was looking great as a heel against Triple H, which again, why wasn't this done before Wrestlemania instead of fighting over Lucy the Dog and over hand lotion. I just don't get it. I'll go
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@That's all for today. I'm not sure if I'll have a weekend column or not, given a rough work schedule for this weekend. I don't know, we'll see. Just chill till the next episode....
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.