Welcome to another warm and wonderful edition of the Phat Daily Column, from yours truly, Mr. F'N Tito. Today, I'll simply review RAW since it was on last night, mmmk? Now how hard is that?
Yesterday, I wrote the PDC around noon, but couldn't post it because my ISP decided to act stupid at the moment. So I wasn't able to post my column until around 11:50 at night, when I came home from work. I had yet to watch RAW, too, so the column still had the RAW hype in it, which said:
"Tonight, RAW will be in Austin, TX, meaning that the NWO will probably kick the living shit out of Steve Austin tonight on television. Also, what will be the Undertaker's next move? My only guess is that he'll dig David Flair out of Ohio Valley Wrestling and just beat the living shit out of him to truly gain Flair's attention. Just a guess. This should be a very angle driven RAW with Austin and the NWO, due to the fact that many WWF wrestlers are overseas in Asia on a wrestling tour."
As I was watching the show immediately after I posted the PDC, my eyebrows rose when Austin was beatdown by the NWO and when the Undertaker took a trip to attack David Flair. As this has happened before when I would post a Monday column before watching RAW, I quickly edited this portion off the PDC. This happened before, and many jumped all over me, claiming that I rigged the column to look like I predicted RAW. To save myself the trouble of idiots screaming in claims of rigging a column to make myself look good, the RAW hype was deleted.
If you look around on your favorite mp3 software, you can find a LIVE version of Our Lady Peace's "Whatever", which will be the new theme of Chris Benoit. It's sort of a variation on Benoit's original WWF theme, only with lyrics. I have a suggestion, from listening to the song a few times: stick with the original.
For Wednesday, I'll be ranking all 9 NES games, and then I'll review the Best of Backyard Wrestling 3. For Thursday, I'll review Best of Backyard 4: Random Acts of Violence. Let me tell you this: Best of Backyard 4 is a very interesting video, in comparison to the rest of the series. I was sort of impressed when I watched it. Anyway, I'll do Smackdown on Friday, and IF I HAVE TIME, I'll do a Weekend PDC. Can't guarantee that, though, as time permits...
Anyway, on to the PDC.
We have an opening match of Steve Austin vs. Booker T. Steve Austin in an opening match? What? The match was decent, and just when it was starting to stride towards an excellent opener, RAW turned into Nitro as the NWO ran down and attacked Austin. Funny how slow the NWO runs down to the ring now. The NWO would beat down Austin, bust him open, and have a long sequence where Scott Hall kept wanting to pound Austin more. Isn't this assault, brother? This long segment and so-called tragedy killed the crowd for the rest of the night.
Our next match, and odd follower to what just occurred, was Mr. Perfect/Test versus Albert/Scotty 2 Hotty. Weird explanation performed by Test about why Perfect was his partner. You get it?!? Perfect partner? A whatever match, that had a decent ending, as Scotty wasted too much time worrying about doing the worm on Test, only to forget that Hennig was the legal man. Hennig hit the Perfectplex, and it was over. Afterward, Fat Albert attacked everyone in the ring, and when that began to fail, Rikishi ran down, and eventually gave the stinkface to Mr. Perfect. Wow, that made no sense. Rikishi would then greet Scott 2 Hotty, possibly paving the way for an unfortunate Too Cool reunion. *Yawn* Many performers in this match just happen to be the ones I could seriously care about anymore.
Goldust offered a decent explanation to why nobody tried the 24/7 rule. Good about the Undertaker, but why did nobody attack RVD when he was the Hardcore champion? Tazz would then run down to challenge Goldust for our next match. Basically your basic WWF Hardcore match, involving trash cans and fire extinguishers. And the WWF wonders why the division sucks, aside when GOOD champions like RVD hold the title. Goldust would win the title with a variation of the ending that occurred in the Regal vs. Big Show match from last Smackdown.
It's so funny to see Scott Hall avoiding a drink of beer during the Austin locker room scene with Nash and Hogan. Give Hall a sip, and he'll rush to the bars! Watch out!
Too bad the WWF doesn't give fans any incentive to watch WWF Heat, or fans would have been familiar with the Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm match that occurred on that very show. Storm and RVD lack good interview skills, which could be what holds them down from the so-called "glass ceiling" that has been theorized about often.
Where are the DDP-Christian segments going?
Our next match was Trish Stratus versus Jazz. Give loads of credit to Trish. She acted the role of pissed off chick well, and she sold ALL of Jazz's offense like a champ. Trish is probably the best overall in the Women's division now, and that says a lot. Actually, that really means that the division sucks, and that the division would probably fair better with Stephanie as Women's champ than Jazz. I know that comment pissed off many last week, so I said it again! WWF fans STILL have no clue why they see Jazz on their television screen, as she has never quite been introduced. She just happens to be there, and does her lame bodysplashes to whoever she wrestles on a given night. Anyway, with the match, Trish was Disqualified for not letting go of an STF when Jazz was on the ropes. So will we see Lita vs. Trish vs. Jazz at Wrestlemania?
Oh man, how funny the Triple H prank was for Stephanie. Not. This reminded me of the days when Kevin Nash and Macho Man would pull pranks on each other to hype their Pay Per View match. So lame. Only Stephanie McMahon would make up a storyline surrounded by hand lotion. Of course, as one of the head writers of the WWF, she has wrestlers angry over Japanese soap commercials and 80 year old ladies giving birth to hands.
Next, we see footage of the Undertaker beating down David Flair. I figured this would happen since Flair is overseas, touring with the WWF in Asia. This was the second massive beatdown of the night to sell a Pay Per View. Isn't that too much?
Rob Van Dam vs. Lance Storm was next. Solid match up from these two, as Storm worked on RVD's leg throughout the match. RVD sold it well until the end, where he was able to do a jumping kick and a 5-star froggy splash to win the match. The crowd was dead for this match since they just witnessed 2 massive beatdowns, and for the fact that they were probably hoping for a spot match between these two instead of a wrestling match. D'oh.
Out of all of the Desire videos, the POD/Rock one was probably the weakest. No offense to both POD or the Rock, but it just seemed like it was crammed together and it didn't offer a good history of the Rock's career in the WWF. No where near as good as Hogan's video.
Scott Hall vs. Spike Dudley was the next match, which saw Hall basically squash Spike with some NWO help. Hall has lost some obvious muscle mass since he was last in the WWF. I have the Razor Ramon WWF video, and you can see him just tossing around the 1-2-3 Kid (Sean Waltman or X-Pac in the mid 1990's) like a ragdoll. With Spike, you could see Hall struggle a little bit. Not a bright showing for anyone to get hyped up about Hall at the Pay Per View.
Triple H vs. Kurt Angle was our Main Event, and in a cage I might add. What's the purpose of the cage match? To not let any interference occur. Well, Stephanie McMahon interfered like crazy, which hurt the match badly. Looks like we'll be seeing Angle vs. Triple H again very soon after Angle got the win. That, or it will be Angle vs. Triple H for the World Title at Backlash or something, given that Triple H wins the title at Wrestlemania. The cage match was good until the interference at the end.
RAW Phat Stats
Clean Wins: 4
No Contests: 0
LAST WORD: This show had 2 watchable matches, with the rest either at par, sucking, or ruined by interference. Sports Entertainment was weak this week. The show obviously was hurt by the absence of the touring wrestlers in Asia, especially during a time where Wrestlemania must be hyped. I'll give it a
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WRESTLEPALOOZA.com - Audio Show, Columns, News, and more!
KOLTERSHOCK!!! - A site that you shouldn't view with small children present!
X-Entertainment.com - One of the most entertaining pages on the net!
@That's all for today. I'll be back to wrap up the NES reviews and review Best of Backyard 3. Until then, why not chill?
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.