How many people want to read Dubya Cee Dubya? I hate to somewhat quote Scott "too many beers" Hall, who has a funny site which you can check out by Clicking Here, but the total focus of "WCW Day" was to torture myself into reviewing Thunder, or as I like to call it, Chunder. However, I've got no Chunder to review anymore. :(

I believe I was one of the few columnists left who actually watched this show without quitting, two. I know of two results people from around the net who just stopped recapping because they couldn't take it anymore. I can remember Calvin and I watching the show, just telling each other over the net on how bad the show truly was. Both of us were forced to do it, too, since he took pictures of the show, and I oddly wanted to review it every Thursday.

But all of the torture is now over. Now, Vince McMahon will use what he knows best, which is getting a wrestling federation to be successful, to finally make WCW worth watching. At least I hope. Speaking of the "new" WCW, that's what we'll discuss in today's column. Ways to improve the WCW now to become a great asset of the WWF.

Plus, I have TWO past WCW video reviews! Whooo!

On to the PDC.

WCW Improvements

Note: I will NOT discuss booking or anything backstage here!! I'll try to hold back...

-Improve Theme Music-

Throughout WCW's 10 or more year history, they have had terrible theme music for their wrestlers. In the early 90s, the music was just plain or totally lame. The Midnight Express had a good theme, but they had to remix an actual song from the movie "Midnight Express" for their theme. Sting's original theme was decent, as was Lex Luger's. Ric Flair's theme has always been strong for him, but again, it wasn't made by WCW. They used a lot of shitty stock music, and when they had to make their own, it got nasty.

During the middle 1990s, someone got the idea to use the same singer for a lot of themes in WCW. First, it was Hulk Hogan's "American Made" song, which still makes me cringe today. Sting got the same deal with the "Man Called Sting" theme, which was just ridiculous! The Steiner Brothers were given the "Steiner Line" song, which probably was the best from that singer, but it was still an overall bad theme. Stock music was continually used, along with SOME tracks being created by Jimmy Hart, who would make more themes in the later 1990s...

For the later 1990s, Jimmy Hart was in control of making themes. He was rather lazy at it too. For a lot of the themes Hart made, he spent months making some themes that were just horrible. Like the Warrior theme for example. Bret Hart didn't like his current theme from Jimmy Hart, so he had someone from Brian Adams's band make a theme for him (which is awesome!). Jimmy Hart is well known for making cheap rip-offs of songs, like the Jericho theme that sounded like "Evenflow", the Shane Douglas cover for his "Perfect Strangers", and many more! Hart did make some decent themes involving wrestler's voices, like Buff's or the Cat's theme.

2000-2001 saw a bunch of dance tunes used for themes, like the current upbeat Natural Born Thrillers theme. Hart did produce a decent Shawn Stasiak theme in the end, but it's sort of too late now.

Hopefully, James Johnston, the man behind the WWF themes, will lend his hand to make a handful of new WCW themes for wrestlers. New theme music for the television show will be great too. For some wrestlers, as I agree with Brendan Campbell, a theme can make or break you. A theme gives you a good first impression or just something for the fans in the crowd to react to. Johnston has done some masterpieces for the WWF lately, in which just about everyone has a great theme now. Just about everyone.

-Production Changes-

Right now, I'm watching the Clash of the Champions from 1989, where Ricky Steamboat and The Nature Boy Ric Flair put on one of the best matches ever, with the best 2 out of 3 falls match. Anyway, as I watch it, I notice that nearly all of the camera shots are the same as they were recently for WCW. I was shocked by this, completely.

The WWF camera team are masters in what they do. They get the best angles (like they say the famous Ralph Parfait does in his "films"), and they make the wrestling shows look like epics! There are hardly any errors when they do the shows, and everything seems to be flowing nicely. WCW shows featured errors or just basic, and not daring, camera shots.

But like I said about the 1989 Clash.... WCW still has the old wrestling look. With the WWF's help, WCW can evolve into at least the 1990's standards or better.

-Announcing Team-

Must we beat a dead horse here?

Just saying that Tony Shiavone is a product of the "old WCW", and to many, many critics, he wasn't too enjoyable. He does work hard, though, and that should be put to good work. They say he's pretty strong in producing what announcers will mention or say during the show, which could be a strength for the "new" WCW. I don't think he should be a main guy out there, though.

In my opinion, which I'm sure some will agree here, I believe that Mike Tenay COULD be a good play-by-play man if given the chance. He KNOWS all of the moves, and he can react well to whoever is with him. He worked well with Bobby Heenan for the short time they did Thunder together, as Tenay reacted to the crazy one-liners that Heenan was throwing out there. After Heenan was canned, Tenay had to work with Shiavone or Scott Hudson. Hudson is still decent, but he wasn't good with Mike Tenay. The problems with the Tenay-Shiavone and Hudson-Tenay team is that it's two face announcers trying to call a show. YOU MUST HAVE A HEEL!

If you don't use Tenay or someone other than Tony Shiavone, then why not Joey Styles? Paul Heyman could probably convince Vince McMahon to hire him. I've heard some rumors that someone backstage helps Styles call the matches through an earphone... Hey, that could be Shiavone helping out! I used to be the recap guy for ECW on TNN, and each week, I just appreciated the great calling by Styles. He was crystal clear on all of the moves, and he knew how to put over a wrestler. He's good, trust me. :)

Or, the WWF could give Johnathan Coachman or Kevin Kelly a role for the WCW, as they've been working to improve their announcing skills as play by play men.

As for a heel... Jerry Lawler is TOTALLY out of the question! I don't believe he'd ever mend any fences with Vince McMahon. So who do you use? Bobby Heenan? That name has went around, but many would argue that he's too OLD for the job now. I love him as an announcer to death, but he isn't exactly willing to take on becoming a full time announcer again. The WWF could probably lend over Michael P.S. Hayes to WCW, which would fit since he's done some announcing in the NWA/WCW before. The Clash that I'm currently watching has the announcing team of Jim Ross and Hayes, and it's a great team!

I also enjoy Joel Gertner, but that's from a fan's standpoint. I believe the WWF bigwhigs see him as being "bush league" or at least not ready for the bigtime yet.


Now if the "new" WCW could get their "shit" together in booking good feuds, then everything will work just fine.

Mr. Tito's Phat Video Reviews

It's funny, because for yesterday's reviews, a few of you wanted me to include pictures of the videos I am reviewing. Argh! As if needs enough plugs already!

(Picture courtesy of

WCW Best of Uncensored

If you want a bad, bad recap video, look no further than this video! It's hosted by Mean Gene, who ensures me that this will be a very outrageous video. Actually, he's correct on that fact. It's outrageous that I used a free rental card to rent this video! Ahhhh! We'll go match by match for this pile... I mean video.

Harlem Heat vs. Nasty Boys: Horrible, horrible tag match. It was even worse when the announcers were discussing how insane this match was. The Nasty Boys just suck, and for the fact that they had a glimpse of the WWF, they were pushed non stop in WCW as being the best tag team.

Sting/Booker T vs. Road Warriors: This match was the one which put Booker T in the spotlight for the first time, showing that he can work with another partner besides Stevie Ray. The match sucks, though, because the Road Warriors were in horrible shape to deal with here.

Big 3 Way match from 1997: This is the famous stipulation match, which had the NWO winning to get FULL control over any match in WCW. Actually, they still let JJ Dillon make decisions, which made no sense. The match was a good screwjob involving Dennis Rodman, but they didn't feature the REAL great part of the match. It was the first time Sting attacked the NWO, and finally went after Hulk Hogan. That's why this video is bad.....

DDP vs. Raven vs. Chris Benoit: Truly a great match, which is one of the few bright spots in this videos. Too bad it was only a match to keep a Raven vs. DDP feud going, since Chris Benoit was depushed totally after this.

Macho Man vs. Hulk Hogan in the cage: Yes, this is Age in the Cage, version 27376646. God, this is a horrible match, featuring a terrible swerve from Macho, as he attacked Sting to show his NWO loyalty. Total Crap!

Scott Hall vs. Sting: This was Hall's "title shot" from winning World War 3 1997. Actually, Hall was upset from getting a late title match, and he was also pissed off about Syxx getting the axe, I believe, by Eric Bischoff. Hall looks very unmotivated for this match, which was coming from the early stages of the Hogan/Bischoff vs. Hall/Nash power war backstage.

Kevin "bookerman" Nash vs. Rey Mysterio: It is pretty funny to see Nash just toss around Rey-Rey. It's basically like their other bouts from the time... Rey bumping all over the place, and hitting special moves on Nash, which he *tries* to sell. Note that, because Nash and Rey-Rey were great pals back then, and Nash does ANYTHING for his friends.

Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow: This isn't a bad hardcore match at all, with some good weapons shots and some nasty table breaking. I say "nasty" for the tables, since none of them were breaking, providing some sick bumps. This is the match were Raven's "sister" Chastity turned on her "brother" to join her new lover, Hak. This was just a few months before WCW shitlisted Chastity for being in a porno before her wrestling career. Damn them.

Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan in the cage: Age in the Cage, version 2893874377. Putting a cage around a heel Hogan actually eliminates about 50% of his moves or ways to wrestle. So you're getting HALF of Hogan here. Terrible match, which features Flair winning his 15th World Title.

LAST WORD: There could be some more matches that I'm not including, but I don't care. This video sucked, and I want to suggest that you avoid this at all costs. The Benoit vs. DDP vs. Raven was the only great highlight of the video, giving this review a


for this video review. God, I really hope the rest of the "Best of WCW" videos aren't that bad. Yuck, yuck, yuck!

(Picture courtesy of

Sid Vicious: The Millennium Man

For those who are wondering about the "Millennium Man" gimmick, it was a cheap swipe by WCW upon the debut of Chris Jericho in 1999. Jericho was supposed to have some sort of name like that, but apparently, someone in WCW read the dirtsheets and were quick to name Sid the "Millennium Man". So instead, the WWF named Chris Jericho Y2J, and just look what's remaining today...

This video runs from the debut of Sid to join Team Savage in the early summer of 1999, until the "high quality" feud against Bill Goldberg about running up the stupid streak. It has Sid talking between points, which shows that he's not that intelligent of a person outside wrestling. His interviews didn't make sense, and he struggled to decide whether to be in character or being himself. This video basically displays the terrible ages of WCW, when Bill Busch first took control after Eric Bischoff took over, and it was just before Russo came to town.

It starts off with Sid joining Macho Man's so called stable. Many thought he was the evil Hummer driver, but the booking team then insisted that Sid wasn't! Sid fought with Kevin Nash, on Savage's side, providing for some terrible television back then. We then go to the "fun" Hulk Hogan feud, where Sid picked up his buddy Rick Steiner. Yes, this is the period where Rick Steiner ran in for EVERY Nitro main event. Hey, he was doing that during the recent WCW shows too.

Next, we get the unfortunate jobbing of Sting to Sid. It's funny, because everyone claims Sting refuses to job to wrestlers. Well, he put Sid over here, and cleanly too. Heels don't normally defeat faces cleanly on Pay Per Views, now do they? I forget what other crap Sid went through, but I know that he began running up his steak, and challenged Bill Goldberg to whatever.

LAST WORD: Oh lord, what a joke of a video. WCW should have just waited a little longer, like another year, to give Sid more of a selection of matches to choose from. I would have liked WCW to include some past Sid stuff from WCW, like the Skyscrapers days and so forth. But they didn't, and we just the unentertaining crap of 1999.


to this video, as I'm embarrassed to have ever rented this pile of crap. If only I could write it off as a business expense, but I don't get paid for writing columns (not that I want to).

NEWS ORGY: Puff Daddy changes his name???, Christina Aguilera SELLS OUT to Coke, and some Outrageous Pokemon newsbytes!!! So Click Here to join the Orgy!

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@That's all for today. I'll be back tomorrow with some WWF stuff for you to enjoy, or at least read. If you can't read, then how have you accomplished reading this conclusion anyway? See you tomorrow!

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I can't find the UPN or TNN ratings, but you could assume that both are in the 0.9 area on the national or official rating.

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Nothing else, other than boring crap on how NBC might possibly stop airing XFL games, which will most likely happen.