Welcome back to another glorious edition of the Phat Daily Column. Today, we'll discuss the very latest in professional wrestling, along with reviewing the new WWF CD, Forceable Entry.
And yes, I know I have been screwing up the name. I kept saying "Forceful Entry". Sorry, although in my opinion, the word "Forceful" is easier to say than "Forceable". Whatever! Whatever! I'll do what I want!! Speaking of that phrase, be sure to tune into tonight's South Park for some incredible laughs.
On to the PDC.
-I know a lot of people bashed the Draft hard from Monday night. Just look at it this way: it has wrestling fans talking. All I hear now are how each show will shape up OR who will be traded. It's created a buzz, which I hope continues with the WWF. To make things incredibly interesting, though, is to have another draft next year. No, I don't mean the whole federation... Like with the BEST wrestlers of the developmental territories, call them "rookies" and have Flair and Vince draft them like an NFL or NBA drafts. It would give instant pushes to the wrestlers, especially if you show a highlight video package of the wrestler just drafted.
-Stacy Keibler was drafted for Smackdown, if anyone didn't know. For some reason or another, she's taking some time off and I have fears to why. Among the divas, including Stephanie McMahon, she's the ONLY one without breast implants (Jazz too). The WWF usually has a complex about having their women extremely large, as many women, before they debut in the WWF, go under the knife to become larger, such as Lita. But I will say that Stacy Keibler does not need them. She's hot how she is, and it's not like she's small up top. The emphasis of Stacy are her "legs", just as Kid Rock sings about on the ForceABLE Entry CD. She has the best legs in the business, period. Why do you think that everyone in the crowd always pops when she bends over to get into the ring?
-When posting news from the Observer, I was quite angry while typing the newsbyte about Chris Jericho. It said that since he wasn't a great so-called champion, he was given that bitch Stephanie to "save" the World Title match at Wrestlemania. Huh?!? Did I read that right? That has to be the most insulting thing I've ever heard in professional wrestling. You mean to tell me that he wasn't over as a heel in his feud with the Rock or Stone Cold Steve Austin? Oh, and let's not forget how hot the segment was between Jericho and Triple H, where the Game said that Jericho never beat him. Looking at the weeks before Wrestlemania, how much mic time did Jericho get against Triple H? None whatsoever. If you F'N say that by making Jericho a whipping boy to get some fucking hand lotion was a way to "save" Jericho in his World TItle match, then you're completely braindead. It's this ignorant mentality that has hurt the WWF since late 1999, and that's the thinking that Stephanie is the only way to improve television or the product. However, since late 1999, the ratings and overall business have slowly decreased....
-Many in the WWF fear that the Clique has taken over backstage politics again. It's evident with the addition of X-Pac, a guy who hasn't been back in a long time but gets sudden attention by joining the NWO, thanks to Triple H, Nash, and Hall's influence. This is after X-Pac dogged the WWF for its Cruiserweight division publicly (although I do agree with it), and for hardly showing up at WWF Axxess like he was supposed to. And the monster is only worse when you consider that Triple H is banging Stephanie McMahon.
-RAW is WAR scored a solid 5.3 in the ratings, meaning that the Draft brought some interest to the table to keep the Wrestlemania momentum going. However, if the WWF wants to keep the high rating up for RAW, they better stack the RAW team a little more. I don't think that anybody is craving a Kevin Nash vs. Kane feud right now, although Diesel vs. Fake Diesel would get some laughs. Rob Van Dam and Brock Lesnar are the only fresh talent on the whole RAW roster, and without Steve Austin, the show lacks any truly popular main eventers. Push Lesnar and RVD to the top then? Ha, I see that happening on a show that has both Kevin Nash and the Undertaker.
A reader sent in a good idea about Smackdown, although I forget his name but I do thank him very much for sending it in. UPN does have newer management, and they have been keeping a good eye on the WWF's progress on the network. Of course, they always seem to forget what show saved its ass in 1999, right? Indeed. Anyway, by stacking the roster a little more, then maybe Smackdown will become the show of choice for wrestling fans and the ratings will jump up there. After all, RAW does receive higher ratings than Smackdown, so why not even that out? And remember, TNN can't TOUCH RAW. What else would TNN have to get viewers without the RAW powerhouse to plug all of their shows on?
Other than that, it's a damn good CD by the WWF. Let's go TRACK BY TRACK on this CD.
1) Drowning Pool - The Game (Triple H's theme): This song is much better when listening to the studio version as compared to the live version we heard at Wrestlemania 18. I take it Drowning Pool is one of those artists that sound good on CD, but horrible live. I hate those kind of groups. Either put up or shut up live. With a better version of the song here on the CD, you can clearly listen to the lyrics. They're quite good in association to Triple H.
2) Kid Rock - Legs (Stacy Keibler's theme): Good cover of the ZZ Top song by Mr. Kid Rock. While not really a theme for Stacy, it's a good song in dedication to her. After all, the fans probably notice them more than they would a larger rack.
3) Creed - Young Grow Old: What is this track doing here? It has nothing to do with pro wrestling. The WWF should have placed "My Sacrafice" on the CD instead, since you know, it WAS on WWF television. Maybe it was added for name value on the CD? Whatever it was, it's not a very good song or addition to the group of songs.
4) Disturbed - Glass Shatters (Steve Austin's theme): Finally, a clear version of this theme. I do have the best internet version of the song, which mixed a live performance and the tail end of the theme together. Again, I do apologize for dogging Disturbed at first. If you don't remember, I HATED the theme at first. But then it grew on me, and my buddy Jaymz suggested that I check out their other tracks, and a week later, I bought their CD. I wish Austin would go back to this theme instead of the old one he's using right now.
5) Limp Bizkit - Rollin' [Dead Man remix] (Undertaker's theme): It's nicely altered to seem just like the Undertaker's theme today. It starts with some motorcycle noise, and begins exactly like the Undertaker theme on television. Having the motorcycle noise throughout the track was a nice touch to it, too. Very nice.
6) Our Lady Peace - Whatever (Chris Benoit's theme): As much as I like the song, and I really do, I'm still sticking to my guns and saying that the original Benoit WWF theme is better. Still, the song is pretty good, but it's just not as tough as the original. The original just fit Benoit perfectly, whereas the OLP song isn't as hardrocking as his old theme.
7) Rob Zombie - Never Gonna Stop [The Black Cat Crossing Mix] (Edge's theme): Ewww, not a very good remix by Rob Zombie. If you guy any of Zombie's remix CDs, you'll know that while he'll have a share of awesome remixes, he also has his share of bad ones too. Put this in the drawer of bad ones. The WWF should have insisted on including the original.
8) Breaking Point - One of a Kind (RVD's theme): This song is awesome, simply put. I hope that it becomes a huge song on the airwaves, although not overplayed like Linkin Park. I don't wish that on any group. It's perfect for Rob Van Dam, as he is, you know, one of a kind in the wrestling business.
9) Marilyn Manson - Beautiful People [WWF remix] (Smackdown's theme): Oh man, talk about butchering a good song. It's no where near as hardrocking as the original, and the way Manson sings in this song is weird. He's whispering the lyrics. Now whether he does that in the original or not, well, it's not as evident as it is in this version of the song. Again, why not give us the original version of the song? How hard is that? If not, then give us a GOOD remix, like the "Horrible People" track off the Remix and Repent CD.
10) Union Underground - Across the Nation (RAW's theme): This song sound NOTHING like the original theme, as I wonder when Flair takes over RAW, if this song will become the new official theme. Whatever the case may be, this is a good song by Union Underground. Cool lyrics in this track.
11) Sevendust - Break the Walls Down (Chris Jericho's theme): Oh please don't switch his theme music! Pretty please!!! Although Sevendust does a better job than the WWF Aggression rappers on his theme, it's nowhere near the quality of the original. It doesn't really sound like a wrestling theme, too.
12) Saliva - Turn the Tables (Dudley Boyz's theme): Like Drowning Pool, these guys sound better in the studio than live. It's a badass theme for the Dudleys. It even has the group shouting "GET THE TABLES" throughout the song. Very nice.
13) Monster Magnet - Live for the Moment (Hardy Boys' theme): Monster Magnet is hardly a group to fit the Hardy Boys' liking. Monster Magnet, in my opinion, sounds like a harder rocking 1980's band, and that's fitting for an "Xtreme" team? Not hardly. Good track, though, but not really a good fit for the Hardys.
14) Stereomud - End of Everything (Raven's theme): Now this is how a theme should be done. Stereomud captured the essence of Raven's original WWF theme in this song, and made it better! The theme starts with the raven noises, and it has a dark touch to it in terms of the lyrics. Excellent job here.
15) Neurotica - Ride of Your Life: Another non-wrestling theme. However, it's probably more associated with wrestling than the Creed track. At least this song is somewhat good, and I've heard much worse, like some songs added on the Tough Enough CD. I like it.
16) Cypress Hill - Just Another Victim (Tazz's theme): I'm very partial to Tazz's original theme. However, I've heard worse in terms of songs dedicated to wrestlers. This track is basically a mix of the song Superstar, with various "Just Another Victim" shouts through the song and even some added commentary by Michael Cole. (I believe Cypress Hill was a part of a song called "Just Another Victim" on the Judgement Night soundtrack? If not, I know, at least, they were on that CD somewhere) Not bad.
17) Dope - No Chance in Hell (Vince McMahon's theme): Is this song really that hard to reproduce? The rappers on Aggression couldn't perform it well, and although Dope does it better, it's still nothing as impacting as the original.
18) Boy Hits Car - Lovefurypassionenergy (Lita's theme): Worst track on the CD, period. Hardly has any association to Lita, too.
LAST WORD: Pretty good CD overall, although I'd argue that not all of the wrestler themes are hardly worth anything. Still, I'd recommend it for the Disturbed/Austin theme, Breaking Point's RVD song, and for some other decent songs on the CD. 18 tracks to choose from, so you may have different tastes to myself. I'll give it an
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WRESTLEPALOOZA.com - Audio Show, Columns, News, and more!
KOLTERSHOCK!!! - A site that you shouldn't view with small children present!
X-Entertainment.com - One of the most entertaining pages on the net!
@That's all for today. I'll be back, tomorrow, to BS more about wrestling and to probably hype Smackdown. Until then, why not chill?
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.