Ah yes, nothing like a wonderful Saturday edition of the Phat Daily Column. For the past two weeks, I've just about seen every special appearance and wrestling shows out there. Wouldn't you know it, I have two shows for you today! I have the Rock on Jay Leno, and I have the ECW on TNN impressions. Without any more of this introduction, on to the Phat Daily Column.

Rock on Jay Leno

Like any other intro on the show, Jay hypes the Rock's book and his match at Wrestlemania, and then shows us a Wrestlemania Blimp that was flying around New York all day yesterday. On the bottom of the blimp is said "Jay Know Your Role". The Rock comes out. Yay! Jay asks him about the blimp and the Rock said he was trying to get another one that said "Here's a glass of shut up Juice". If he would have done that, I would have had a blimp in the air and it would have read "Rock, get new catchphrases!"

For some reason, Rock gave him a muffin. I guess it was for the blimp? Don't know. Questions: What is your real name? Duane Johnson. Good old Leno jokes that his real name is really Wayne, and that his dad just had a lisp. HAHAHA. Discusses his name Rocky Maivia and why it didn't work out. Again, Rocky Maivia was trying to be an ultra face at a time where the bad-ass was way more popular. So the Rock said he asked for some attitude, and the WWF let him do it. It's still funny to see him wrestle as Maivia, so if you didn't start watching wrestling until recently, search for something with Maivia in it for a very good laugh at today's top WWF superstar.

They discuss the People's Eyebrow, and how it's the Rock's right eyebrow only. The Rock says that he isn't bi-eyebrow, in that he can't do it with the left one that well. Jay suggested to some kind of training program for the eyebrow.

They talk about his days in Miami, where he was playing against San Diego State. This story has been so talked about, it's ridiculous! There was a riot like atmosphere during this game, where players were fighting, and the Rock decided to chase after the mascot. He was on National TV(Why doesn't anyone have footage of it?), and his mother yelled at him for this. The Rock said his mother was his biggest fan. AWWWW.

Jay praises his Saturday Night Live appearance, and jokes that the character in drag was his closest character to himself. The Rock was saying how hard it was to sit there in a dress and not show his "goods". I still wish I taped that show! The Rock after a few cracks at him said that he's very confident in his sexuality.

Rock gives Jay the details on the 4 way, and predicts that it will be electrifying! Rock then says that he's a BIG Elvis fan, and he's seen all 26 movies. Blue Hawaii is his favorite one. He says that he likes to sing Elvis songs. Since he sang "Are You Lonesome Tonight" on SNL(which he did very well in my opinion), we are treated with "Smackdown Hotel". So let me see....instead of singing what he did on Saturday Night Live, he sings the song that he has done a lot on WWF television? Oh, ok. Jay plugs book, plugs Wrestlemania. Then the Rock signs his book.

COMMERCIAL

Back from the break, and Roger Eibert, great movie critic, comes out. Right off the start he gives his congrats to the Rock for his performance in Saturday Night Live. He said he was very relaxed and performed well in what was one of the best SNLs he's seen in a while. I agree. Eibert then says that the Rock should star in some movies, and the Rock says he'll be in the Mummy 2 as the Scorpion King. Roger said he'll remember this when he rips into the movie. Eibert said the should have a movie called "The Rock", but that title has already been used by another movie. That was very nice of Roger Eibert.

WWF

-Smackdown gave us a repeat performance of a 4.8 this week, and again, it's fighting against "Sweet 16" NCAA basketball games, so this is pretty damn good. I felt that this Smackdown, although it didn't have as many matches, was very entertaining to watch. Some scenes had me laughing for a while. But anyway, good effort by the WWF as they know how to put on a good show when they want to.

-Ok, so the WWF Axess will now have 4 superpower names that the WWF could use at anytime for shock value. Shawn Micheals, Undertaker, Debra, and Stone Cold are all wrestlers which the WWF could use whenever they want to, but again with high ratings, they just don't have to. All are RUMORED to be at Wrestlemania, but those rumors keep getting thrown down by the wrestlers and the WWF. I bet that at least one of them will show up at Wrestlemania in some fashion no matter what they say.

WCW

-Dave Meltzer of WrestlingObserver.com is reporting that next week's Nitro and Thunder are cancelled so that precious Vince Russo can have a good week to write up new storylines. Yeah, that's a great way to get people still watching...just take a week off! Oh well, at least this will allow me to relax a little bit on Monday Night, instead of flipping back in forth. Lots of readers are really getting on me about my constant bashing on Vince Russo, and how evil Mr. Tito is always ripping him. Awww. Well, for a man that made a joke of WCW with horrible storylines, why not keep bashing him? It will be only a matter of time before Russo does the same stupid things, and again like the NWO failing, you'll thank me and I'll present you some apples.

-I guess that Gorgeous George video pretty much sums her career and Macho Man's career in WCW. George just iced the cake on her never returning by having a video released by Clublove.com, as WCW will probably push her aside like they did for poor Chastity. Oh well. Don't look for them to show up in the WWF though, as it's still rumored that Macho is asking for way too much money in the WWF. Yeah, like the WWF would want to invest millions in a dinosaur!

ECW is TNN

I really hate this TNN angle with Cyrus trying to be the biggest prick towards ECW. He called on Joey Styles and Joel Gertner to strike him and get arrested. Um, ok, this is heading no where. Stupid angle.

Japanese Death Match was assigned to the 162363572376476th meeting of Super Crazy and Tajiri, as I question why? Why was it a Japanese Death Match when it's no DQ in ECW anyway. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Anyway, ok match again from these two, but I've seen them fight way too much. Oh yeah, Paul Heyman is such a good booker, he can book the same match over and over again! Yet he wonders why his ECW on TNN ratings won't raise. Duh!!! Oh yay, let's have everyone come down and get pounded by Corino, Rhino, and whoever. Yeah, it just makes me want to watch this much next week. I can just cut the excitement with a knife.

Grimes vs. Dreamer was an OK match, with some spots here and there..yay. Nothing spectacular at all here.

YAY, let's end the show with a stupid cliffhanger of the Impact Players possibly fighting Raven and Mike Awesome. Oh my God, I really want to tune in next week now!!!

Phat Stats

Matches: 2
Clean Wins: 2
Screwjobs: 0
Disqualifications: 0
No Contests: 0

Last Word: Wow, two whole angles for tonight's show. At least the matches were long and not half-assed short like the matches on WWF or WCW can be. That's tonight's only plus, and probably the only way that ECW will get a

C+

in my book. Please, book some new matches ECW. You have enough wrestlers in your federations to NOT use the injury excuse. Gee, what holiday can we blame on for low ratings this week? I predict a 0.9 for this show, as the NCAA tournament will take their ratings away.

@That's it for today's Phat Daily Column. I'll be back tomorrow with more of the same, so just chill till the next episode!

Wrestling Uncensored

Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

Mr. Tito 2000 Exclusive to Lordsofpain.net