Tito has returned for yet another Phat Daily Column. I swear, everywhere I look, there is WWF programming or shows with WWF superstars on it everywhere these days. Last night, not only was there Smackdown to watch, but Conan O'Brien to watch with the Big Show as well! Hell, the Rock will be on the Tonight show tonight too! They are everywhere! Well, lots of television and news to review, so why waste anymore time making up stuff for this introduction?

Big Show on Conan Review

Before the Big Show comes out, Conan shows clips of the Big Show pounding on Prince Albert and Big Bossman from either RAW or Smackdown way back, and he hypes the big match at Wrestlemania. The Big Show comes out, fresh with a new haircut, and tries to sit in the chair. Big Show then jokes how the chairs weren't ment for him. They sure didn't look like it!

Questions asked: How tall are you? Big Show answers that he's ABOUT 7'1", and they joke about how after you are past 7 foot that it doesn't really matter on the extra inches. And WCW said he was 7'4"...argh, that's one thing that cracks me up about wrestling..and that's overexaggerating weight and size.

How Much do you weight? The Big Show says that the television shows say that he's 500, but he says that he's actually down to 430! That's a 70 pound drop since Big Show has entered the WWF a year ago. People wonder why he's at the top now. He's worked hard, and the WWF rewards those who do that.

Conan then jokes about the Big Show's head, and how it's HUGE. Big Show then jokes about how he could cut the top half of his head off, fill it with water, and have the neighborhood kids use it as a swimming pool. I'm surprised that Big Show didn't chokeslam Conan for this, but again, Conan is a joking guy and one of the funniest on television.

Average Meal at McDonalds? Big Show says that he spends around $20-30 on HIMSELF!!!! Oh my God. He said that he eats a few Big Macs, 20 piece nuggets, Fish Fillets, fries, and then drinks chocolate shakes(notice the plural). He then says that he also has desert there too! My Gosh! I'm hurting after just 20 nuggets and a regular order of fries.

What intimidates you? Midgets. Why? He feels that when they are in a group, they will gang up on him and tie him down like Gulliver's Travels. HAHA. He just feels wierd because they are all looking up to him when around him. No wonder the midget division of the WWF has never come back.

Conan suggests that Big Show was big at an early age, and Big Show says "I know". That ensues some small genitalia jokes between Conan and Big Show. How big were you at age 11 or 12? Big Show says that he was 6'2" and 220 pounds with chesthair and sideburns. Conan jokes that he doesn't have chesthair now! Damn funny!

Story time: Big Show talked about his first kiss. It was at a skating rink, and he was either 11 or 12, and he got a first kiss on a girl that he had been talking with there. Funny thing is that a "Rent-a-Cop" came up to Big Show and arrested him because they thought he was an older man! Big Show said that the girl never talked to him in high school. Awww.

Conan thanks him for being on the show, and after that Big Show picks Conan up and hold him over his shoulder. Show takes him to the dressing room in the back, and into the room. End of segment.

It was a pretty funny segment/interview on Conan. Big show has shown a lot of personality thoughout the week on television other than the WWF. Maybe this could show something to the WWF that he isn't just a cold-hearted man who wants to beat up the Rock.


-WCW Thunder got a 2.1 in the ratings, which is an improvement upon the last few weeks..but only by 0.1 points. But anyway, the hours proves one thing to me. 2.2 for the first hour, and 2.0 for the second. That second hour should prove something to any crackhead in the back to see that Hogan is NOT a big draw like they think anymore. That main event was hideous. Hell, even booking that is bad. They should have known that Dustin is a decent worker, and not a worker than can carry his opponent through a match. Just when you thought you could see less of Hogan...Eric Bischoff is back!

-Speaking of Eric Bischoff, it seems that he's going to acquire the horrible booking of Vince Russo. Oh wait, there's more. Bischoff will be looking over Russo's shoulder all the time to see what he's doing, kinda like what Vince McMahon did for him in the WWF. As long as Bischoff gets focused, this duo might be decent...but in my opinion, it won't go anywhere. The WWF's current success shows who was really behind the WWF's boom to the top, and Russo was the man responsible for the horrible WWF segments before he left. Let's look through his WCW accomplishments, shall we? First he had the Disco inferno of all people have gambling debts, and he had the mobsters come after him. Then, we had Hugh Morris trying to take care of his older man. Next, we had the introduction of the Artist Formerly Known as Prince Iaukea. The list could go on and on....

But wait, it was all Kevin Sullivan's fault!!!! He was completely, head first, up Bill Busch's ass the whole time! Oh, so that's the reason for him booking Hugh Morris chasing his old man during a match? Shut up. Russo isn't "the man" like everyone, including myself, thought he would be when he left the WWF back in the fall. Sure, some of the wrestlers did like him, and that was because he would listen to their thoughts and problems, while other management play with themselves. However, he was failing, and had to resort to recycling the NEW World Order. Yes, I still haven't heard any apologies from anybody who cursed me out when I told you all that the new NWO would fail. Anyway, he's nothing spectacular, but he does have one thing going for him. It won't allow Eric Bischoff to allow wrestlers to book the shows anymore.


-Wow, the WWF really put on a great show last night, absent a main event. Poor Linda. She took a lot of tough comments throughout the night, as Triple H dogged his mother-in-law, and then Stephanie slapped her. Crash Holly segments are really funny anymore, as Ivory was the one this time attacking Crash. She was massaging him, and as soon as he got relaxed, BAM, shot to the head with glass jar. Crash then ran away. Bob Holly said to hell with the tag match later, and another ref came down for a Hardcore Title defense. They need to keep the title on Crash, or at least keep this concept of 24-7 title defense. It's damn funny.

-So the WWF did clear up what was going on at Wrestlemania, right? Well, a little bit. The match of the evening was announced, with the Hardys, Dudleys, and Edge/Christian go at it in a 3 Way ladder match. This one should be a trip to watch!!! Also on Smackdown, Kurt Angle had me in tears with his interview. I must apologize for at first bashing Kurt Angle. I remember saying that people like Kurt Angle, Too Cool, and I think Steve Blackman should be wrestling the Jakked/Heat circuit. No way should Angle even be considered for that line up, and the same with Blackman who has hit it big with Headcheese.

-My e-mail flooded yesterday about concerns over Triple H and Chyna. Many were claiming that they had a secret ceremony to get married last week, and they keep that claim with the fact that Triple H had a wedding band on his hand. Maybe he was in character with this? As for the marriage...remember Mean Gene saying about 2 weeks ago that Triple H and Chyna would be married? He also spit out a lot of lies to go along with that, so don't always believe what you hear. Rumors still keep coming up that Chyna will join forces with Triple H once again on camera. So, I don't know what is true and what is not for this situation. I hope they are married, but if they aren't and they are broken up, what can I do?

@That's it for today's column. Be sure to watch ECW on TNN today, because they could most certainly use some ratings right now! Can't get any lower than 0.8 or the rating on Christmas Eve, now can we? I'll be back tomorrow with FULL impressions of ECW on TNN, along with Phat Stats and a grade. See you tomorrow! 5 More days until 1 year of consecutive columns


Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

Mr. Tito 2000 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net