Perry "Walrus" Saturn. I bet Walrus and Dean-o will blame Eddie for their attacks, thus setting off the 4 way. Geesh.
Joy! Joy! Joy! The PDC is here! Do we have to go through the drill again?!!? Today's column consists of the Monday Night Impressions, which has my thoughts and opinions on both shows, along with the wonderful grades.
Some interesting feedback on yesterday's EVIL column. But hey, if you thought I was evil yesterday, wait till you see what I have in store today. On to the PDC.
Oh boy! The show started out with a brawl between Dustin Rhodes and Jeff Jarrett. Why does Dustin still wrestle the same boring way he did in 1992-1993? For the love of God, give me Goldust instead!
Yay. Nothing like a good camcorder scene to get an angle "over". I guess Midajah still isn't welcome in WCW? Screw this, let's talk about a great match!
Wow, WOW, WOW!! What a tag match between the Jung Dragons and Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo. Did I not say they'd put on a great match? All 4 competitors worked their asses off, and some rather harsh moves and high flying stuff was hit tonight. Although I was rooting for the Jung Dragons, I'm satisfied with the match because it was spectacular. I can't wait until the Cruiserweight titles are decided, because this division is going to be awesome!
Mamalukes vs. Team Canada..... ZZZZZZZZZZ Wow, I'm so excited about the Team Canada against the WCW rejects, Konnan and Hugh Morrus. Man, this booking is so exciting! I can't wait to buy the pay per view just to mark out for garbage like this ! Holy Cow, I can just feel the greatness!!
Oh my, Ms. Hancock returned.... but with no baby. Apparently, Shawn Stasiak is the man with his hand in the cookie jar. Stasiak's new attitude has vastly improved his character, but I question his new feud with Bam Bam Bigelow. It's funny how he gained the feud by just ripping on fat, bald, and tatooed people, which offended Bam Bam in each way. Nice way to fill PPV time I guess. So where's the baby, Ms. Hancock? I do feel bad for the current booking team, cleaning up Russo's mess on this pregnancy angle.
HOLY COW!!! Lex Luger has jobbed in 4 consecutive singles matches. Oh my God! I'm shocked! Could we be witnessing a good working Luger, and not the complaining Luger of the past? Just amazing. Booker T did a decent job carrying Luger. It's very hard to do, I know.
Shane Helms vs. Evan Karagias was decent, with Evan selling a lot of hard moves by Helms this week. Evil Chavo ran down afterward to let everyone know that he's wrestling Helms at Greed.
Kanyon vs. Smooth was just garbage. Total waste of television time. BLAH!
Lord forbid that Rick Steiner job for Diamond Dallas Page at the end. Did you see that damn stiff clothesline that Rick hit DDP with during the match? Good God, is there any order backstage? Of course not, or the long time off man like Steiner wouldn't get a push like he has now. Nothing like a good clusterfuck run in to end a show.
And you know what? Johnny Ace SUCKS as head booker. I'd rather have Russo or Sullivan in charge than his stupid ass.
William Regal acted like his master, Vince, and did an interview... Well, at least it was decent because one of the most original guys on the mic came out to lay into him: Chris Jericho. Regal booked Jericho into a Handicap match against the Right To Censor. I'm not saying the RTC is worth anything, but the match was indeed entertaining. Jericho fought a battle against 4 guys, and thanks to the arguments between Bull Buchanan and Goodfather, Jericho almost won! I liked the match.
Not a bad match between D'Von and Christian. D'Von isn't quite the singles wrestler, so give him credit where its due. Buh Buh later ran down to help Christian win the match. I guess Edge's back is still hurting, huh?
Excellent technical wrestling match between Chris Benoit and Eddie Guerrero. Now I would rather prefer this to be an opening match up for Wrestlemania, but you take what you get, I guess? I'm curious to where Eddie or Benoit will go now? Will this match lead to the 4 Way Radical match? Who knows? By the way, Benoit attacked Dean Malenko and...............
Perry "Walrus" Saturn. I bet Walrus and Dean-o will blame Eddie for their attacks, thus setting off the 4 way. Geesh.
I had the FINGER OF SHAME ready to trash Vince McMahon for another sleezy angle with Trish Stratus, BUT Shane McMahon made an amazing return and pounded his father to the ground. Now for this time around, let's not have Shane and Vince reunite for some evil scheme like the 10 other times this feud happened.
Ok, so Undertaker vs. Big Show didn't happen. My question is.... did anyone actually want to see this match anyway??? Triple H attacked the Undertaker in a good heated segment. I guess we're going to see a Big Show vs. Kane feud too? Better yet, it could be for the Hardcore title!!!!
Didn't Raven and Test fight on Heat a while back?? Just about the same match wrestled, too. At least it was watchable and not a Billy Gunn match, thank you very much. They should have had something with Tori, and the Hollys for Wrestlemania. Are we not doing that feud now?
Good main event match, with the Rock facing Kurt Angle. Angle carried the match, making the Rock sell the moves like a bitch. Oh, for those who are counting, the Rock threw a good 24 Right Hands during the match, but they were more spread out. He did a few moves that he normally doesn't do any more, like a few brawling moves and the classic ballshot from his heel days. Could somebody be reading my column?!?! Angle threw lots of kicks and punches, but remember folks, he was controlling the match and he had the majority of the offense. Angle did lots of suplexes, slams, and wrestling holds as well. Rock only had the advantage at little points in the match, therefore, making the number of righthand a ridiculous number. The only defense Rock had against Angle was his right hand.
Therefore, Kurt Angle is a superior wrestler, and if the WWF didn't protect the Rock at every match he fought against Angle this year (5 RAW matches, 1 PPV match), then the Rock would tap out to the Ankle lock. However, the better wrestlers who carry the celebrity wrestlers to each match, must suffer by never having anything to show for their hard work. I thought people were awarded for hard work?
Also, isn't it funny how pissed off some people are getting for a simple count of a righthand punch?
How many stunners can Kurt Angle take anyway? Angle did attack Debra, so I guess it's reasonable. Other weeks, it's ridiculous. Austin stunned The Rock at the end to keep their hot feud going. Good booking there.
Overall, a one sided affair, with a few standouts from the other side.
Match of the Night: Jung Dragons vs. Skipper/Romeo (very tight race)
Wrestler of the Night: Kurt Angle
Wrestle Palooza Audio Show: Listen to the shows to find out how to win a Wrestlemania Gift Pack!!!!!
LoP T-Shirts: NEW STUFF IN STOCK! Mouse Pads, Sweat Shirts, Coffee Mugs, more T-Shirts, Baby Doll shirts, and more! Also, you can now order via Credit Card!
Backyard BBQ: The Best in Backyard Wrestling!
@That's all for today. I'll be back tomorrow with SHOUTS, Ratings Analysis, and some Theory. Just chill till the next Phat Daily Column. SN4L for those who understand.
KOLTERSHOCK!!
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.
No XFL news out there to report. Ratings should be around for the next edition of the XFL Gazette!