Oh my God!!! Are we witnessing the collapse of Mr. Tito?!?!?

Of course not. For the past two Sundays, for some reason or anther, I've felt like a big dumptruck ran over me or something. I've just felt like crap, period. No, I don't drink or do any drugs, so rule out any kind of hangover theories. It just happens. I believe it's the wear and tear of school catching up with me, and just the fact that I write marathon of History columns for the Saturday PDC.

Plus, there isn't much to talk about on Sunday anyway, thanks to the lack of news that Friday and Saturday produce. So in the past, I've always had to wing it or force myself to write something or another. I was going to do the "Can of Worms" segment for Sundays, but I really haven't been up for that during the past 2 weeks. I don't know... if you have any ideas on what I could do for NON Pay Per View Sundays, please let me know. Could I just openly answer e-mails for Sunday? I've done that before, but I don't know if anyone liked that or not.

As for today, my mind is fried. Finals week has started, and I'm just fresh off from taking a rather long History exam. For those of you who are going to college or are in college, I have some advice for you: don't take two history classes in one quarter or semester!!! Believe me, that's one of the worst scheduling mistakes I've ever made. Nothing like reading about 9 long books in one quarter. Yeah, that's why I haven't done a Chyna book review yet.

Enough of my personal hell. On to the PDC.

Today's PDC
*WCW Stuff (Nitro hype)
*WWF Stuff (RAW hype and Heat Review)

WCW

Just something quick I want to say... Isn't it nice that Crowbar is rewarded from working hard during the past few months before Eric Bischoff re-entered WCW, by getting his release? Hard work truly pays off, doesn't it?

-Nitro Hype-

Tonight, the Magnificent 7 will do everything they can to stop Diamond Dallas Page in his tracks, just a week away from WCW Greed, quite possibly the last WCW Pay Per View ever! Expect a lovely tag match to form out of this, with a nice and senseless interview to start the show.

Now do you want a good match to watch tonight? Then watch Nitro for the Elix Skipper/Kid Romeo vs. the Jung Dragons match. If it's given time, it's going to be a showstoppa! I'm actually very pumped for this match, and even if you refuse to watch Nitro for the oldies, just at least check this match out. It should be a good one.

Lance Storm/Mike Awesome take on the team of the Mamalukes. Isn't it funny how each member of the tag teams were feuding with each other at some point in their careers? The Mamalukes have disappeared from television, probably because Johnny the Bull was hurt.... again. I don't know what to expect for this match, except for the stupid Hugh Morrus run in. Will anybody backstage notice that Morrus is NOT a draw whatsoever? Nope, and stuff like this is why WCW is in such a ditch anymore. Well, there are more factors, but this is a good one.

Sugar Shane Helms takes on the ever improving Evan Karagias tonight. My gosh, I remember when Karagias was one of the WORST WCW performers when he was "in love" with Madusa. Times have changed, and Karagias, as of late, has bounced back after his nagging ankle injury. Helms is red hot anymore, besides his lame excuse for an entrance. Should be a decent match.

Kanyon vs. Disqo..... oh lord. This match will do nothing but serve as a stupid addition to the Cat-Kanyon feud. Disqo is way past his prime, which was in 1996 when he wrestled Dean Malenko to a good match. Yes, Disqo sucked when he was TV champion in 1997. After many injuries and just being lazy, Disqo doesn't have it anymore. Should be a terrible match to watch.

I wonder if Lex Luger gets to job again this week? Buff is reportedly able to return tonight, and if he does, it's time to let him job too. If he complains, then just don't resign him. It's not like the WWF would pick that ego up.

WWF

-Heat-

I wonder how much the signing of Al Snow to a 4-year Contract was as a morale booster to the WWF locker room? Here, you have a guy who can be lazy in the ring, and a guy who can't get over anymore, getting a nice cushy deal with the WWF. I'm sure guys like Bull Buchanan, Goodfather, Mr. Ass, Gangrel, Essa Rios, and many other struggling WWF superstars or ones under pressure about the Spring cutting are very happy about the Snow signing.

But anyway, the Al Snow skits were very stupid on Heat, and I guess he's not going to "quit" the WWF with William Regal as commissioner. He got Heat back last night, so I guess it's another try with Al Snow as a wrestler again. Joy, joy, joy. It just sickens me to remember how over he was in ECW with the Head gimmick, only to come to the WWF and fall upon deaf ears. Well, we could blame some of the booking Snow has been involved with, but it's not like Snow's wrestling style or ability is flashy enough for anyone to take notice. For Christ's sakes, he still wrestles like Leif Casidy, his former WWF gimmick as part of the NEW Rockers.

Oh wow, it looks like Shane McMahon was given booking duties for Sunday Night Heat. His best friend backstage, Steve Blackman, just steamrolled over Kaientai like nothing. Oh, did I mention that Shane was the man behind the idea of the fake voices of TAKA and Funaki? But since Blackman is the better friend, he destroyed two people at once. Nothing like flushing any wrestling credibility down the toilet. What exactly has Steve Blackman done for the WWF lately? Absolutely nothing. I wonder what Shane would do if his daddy decided to put Blackman on the cutting block. I truly wonder. Oh wait, the WWF has become a world where you'll survive and get pushed if you know someone. My bad.

I swear, Crash and Molly Holly are the Heat superstars! Heat Superstars, that is what you are... coming from the gutter, reaching stars. Come away with me, to another federation... where you're wrestling ability will get respected, uh huh. Oh wait, that only applies to Molly Holly. Of course, where could you go now to get respect? WOW, ECW, and WCW are in trouble now, so who could you rely on for a second option? Anyway, last night, Crash fought Raven in a stupid match, but it finally revealed the EVIL Ninja lady. It's Tori! I guess they were tired of searching for someone to play the role, so they just decided to use the person who was playing the role before the final decision. I guess Francine's egotistical attitude wasn't worth the purchase, eh? I guess the former Godfather ho wasn't ready, either. I really hope the WWF explains why Tori went from X-Pac's lady, to Raven's NINJA PROTECTOR.

Thanks for the long interview, Ivory. She announced that she'll face Chyna at Wrestlemania. Good. I hope there are no more lame Chyna injury angles, or I'll get some more index fingers surgically attached to give more than double FINGERS OF SHAME. If you remember way back, I suggested that Chyna win the Women's title for a few reasons:

ONE: With the Women's title, she could be the first superstar to cross gender lines. No one else could say they accomplished that, ever. Ok, Madusa could claim that, but this accomplishment is more serious and will be more honored.

TWO: If you turn Chyna heel as a World Champion, she could act like a really tough bitch, and give foes like Lita someone to go after. Could you just imagine the roar of the crowd when or if Lita got the upset on Chyna? It would be thrilling indeed.

But nobody listens to me, so let's move on....

Oh God, how lame that X-Pac vs. Billy Gunn match was. Neither guy have been motivated enough to wrestle well over the past 2 years, and the writing should be on the wall for Billy Gunn that his days are up. X-Pac seems to wrestling better, now, from his last neck injury. How much do you want to bet that Credible and X-Pac will weasel their way to the Tag Titles one day?

Wow, I went off in many rants during this Heat review. Not a good show whatsoever. C

-RAW Hype-

Ohhhh, Pantera will be at WWFNY tonight. Could it mean that the WWF has signed Rob Van Dam?!?!? Yeah right. It's highly doubtful that Pantera will play "Walk", and it's more unlikely that the WWF would pay for an openly pot smoker, RVD. I'm not ripping on the drug use, just stating what the WWF is thinking from past experiences with wrestlers who used drugs (ex. Scott Hall and Road Dogg). In fact, if Rob Van Dam shows up tonight, I'll be like Ned Flanders and Homer Simpson over their son's minature golf game, and wear a dress if he shows up. Oh wait! You can't see me, as you can only see my written word. FINE. If Rob Van Dam shows up on RAW tonight and is a part of the WWF from there on out, I'll make the background of my column hot pink for one whole week! You see it now with a black background... so if RVD shows up on RAW tonight, I'll have a pink background on my PDCs for one whole week. Deal?

APA and Jackie will be at WWF NY tonight, too, just so they don't have to feud with the Right to Censor again. Don't you just love their on and off again feud?

Tonight, the main focus will be on Rock and Stone Cold, to see if they come to blows tonight. Geesh. I didn't need the official preview to tell you that. Expect an interview to start the show, and then some kind of Main Event which will get Austin or Rocky involved. Oh yeah, the punch counter will be turned on for the Rock's match tonight.

WWF.com is hyping that Vince McMahon might try to "push the envelope" again. Wow. Could we go for 4 straight offensive Vince McMahon segments in a row on television? The first was forcing Trish to strip, the second was the kiss with Trish in front of Linda, and the third, if you saw it or not, was the stupid XFL halftime segment, involving the camera man and the Cheerleaders' locker room. McMahon sees his ratings slipping, so what does he do instead of focusing on a better wrestling product? He puts himself over. Yes, Vince truly is the Great Evil.

Wrestle Palooza Audio Show: Listen to the shows to find out how to win a Wrestlemania Gift Pack!!!!!

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KOLTERSHOCK!!!

@Wow, I take a day off and I get nastier than ever! Actually, I'm just doing what I always do, and that's stating my opinions on the wrestling world. Everyone is entitled their opinion, so it's fine if you disagree with what I say. Remember, opinions are not fact, which some fail to acknowledge. Blah. Just chill till the next episode.

NEWS ORGY RETURNS!!!!

Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

Mr. Tito © 1998 - 2001 Exclusive to Lordsofpain.net


Scores

NY/NJ Hitmen: 20
San Francisco Demons: 12
ESPN box score

Los Angeles Xtreme: 35
Birmingham Thunderbolts: 26
ESPN box score

By the way, I use the box scores now instead of the written recaps because ESPN.com stopped writing recaps of the games. Rich Eisen, who I heard speak, wasn't a big fan of the XFL, as I'm assuming everyone at ESPN isn't as well.

Standings

EAST
Orlando Rage: 6-0
NY/NJ Hitmen: 2-4
Birmingham Thunderbolts: 2-4
Chicago Enforcers: 1-5

WEST
Los Angeles Xtreme: 4-2
Memphis Maniax: 3-3
Las Vegas Outlaws: 3-3
San Francisco Demons: 3-3

News and Thoughts

I caught the first half of the TNN game, which was San Francisco Demons against the NY/NJ Hitmen. The crowd for San Francisco was just hot throughout the first half. I was surprised to see most of the stadium sold out, and the many Demon jerseys in the crowd. The crowd was hot enough to jump all over the Hitmen, shouting "New York Sucks!"

The UPN game scored a 1.4 overnight rating, which is DOWN from the 1.7 scored the week before. Yeah, and the XFL brags about the higher NBC ratings this week, despite hyping it like no other. Its ratings will probably translate to around a 0.9 or a 1.0, making it the lowest rated network television program of the week. (WrestlingObserver.com)

For those of you who are wondering why the XFL is taking heat for the lower ratings, when they get better ratings than many other sporting events. Well, the heat comes from the fact that the NBC game comes on in the evening. Most of the sports that anyone from the WWF arrogantly compares XFL games to, aren't realizing that their game is in the prime time. Those other sporting events come during the afternoon, when viewers are very hard to find because many families like to get out on the weekends.

I just wonder what the excuse of very low ratings will be once the NCAA tournament starts next week. That's when the real trouble comes up.