Note: The scheduled Phat Chat for this week is cancelled.

-Note: This week I decided to do something special. For this week only, I will have 3 Impressions and grades. This week I am featuring a great columnist, who is set to debut on LoP in a few days, James Phire. He's a shoot columnist, and he loves to rip on anything that makes him mad. He is the author of In the Line of Phire as well as webmaster of Sexual Wrestling, and he's not afraid to write about anything. He will provide his impressions and grades this week.

RAW is WAR

-Alright, at first Vince McMahon came out for his interview, saying how he was going to beat down Shane. That's when I knew, later on that Vince would be it. He was very cocky about the greater power when he was talking about it.

-The greater power is revieled! Vince is it! Wait a second, we are back where we started! Vince and Stone Cold hate each other very much again, and Vince will always be out to screw Stone Cold.

BUT

-Damn Acolytes are a badass duo, but they needed interference from the Hardyz and PS. Decent tag match overall however.

-I like the segment with the remaining Test members, but what's with Test? I know asking Stephanie out on a date would be very nice, but that's not wrestling even though that will be just to piss the McMahons off.

-Odd match with Shane vs. X-Pac and Kane. They pounded on Shane for a while, but the Mean Street Posse was there to beat them down. The "Real Americans" Brisco and Patterson was there once again to beat them down.

-That cast match was very stupid, as it was one of the worst gimmicked matches that I have ever heard of. Pathetic. Undertaker ran in though, probably setting up the Rock vs. Undertaker at King of the Ring.

-Alright, I LOVE a bikini contest, but besides Jarrett (who is feuding with Shamrock???) and Venis brawling, it was a joke. Have them wrestle a mixed tag match instead of this. But I always like a good bikini..

-G-TV is totally messed up.

-Let's get on the HOOOOOOOOOOOOE train. Ahem, good old Road Dogg and Mr. Ass will never stop feuding, EVER! Godfather gets the win via Road Dogg's help. Wait a second, legdrops don't pin people?!?

-Good to see Al Snow get the victory against Droz. Droz is one of the most annoying wrestlers to watch. I literally Puke when I watch him. HA.

-Now what's with Jarrett helping McMahon win against Shamrock in the Lion'd Den? I guess he just wants a lot of feuds. This, also was a former UFC Superstar jobbing to a President of a federation. That really says a lot about Shamrock. He doesn't mind losing, and that's great sportsmanship.

-Damn no contest bouts! But wait, the Undertaker/Big Show was due to a monsterous choke slam through the ring. Oh my god!

RAW Phat Stats

====$Alright, I felt that the Greater Power was a disappointment. However, I do like the new angle started with the McMahon family afterwards. Take a look at the Phat Stats folks. Only one match all night was a clean win. Not good at all. Two potential great matches, Big Show vs. Undertaker and the Rock vs. Triple H need to someday have a clean win. I'm tired of all of this DQ or No Contest crap, even though the Big Show gave the Undertaker the Chokeslam from Hell. Some decent stuff this week, but nothing spectacular besides the Greater Power and the new angle starting as well as the Choke slam. So therefore, RAW recieves a grade of a

B+

James Phire says: All I have to say about RAW is...GOD DAMN! That kicked ass! The whole show was great! Not one low point. A lot of people are doubting this Greater Power angle now that it was revealed as Vince, but I think it'll be just like every other time they doubt Vince. Everyone will hate it at first, but in
time they will grow to love it. Commissioner Austin was great, too. The only thing I didn't like was The Brood not getting the titles. The chokeslam through the mat more then made up for that and the Lion's Den match, though. Oh yeah, Test is the man! I loved the show through and through and I have give RAW an...
A- for it's efforts.

Professor Frank McHone says: Ok I will get the gratuitous "Higher Power" segment out of the way. I hate this angle. It is a great angle to hook the marks, but for true fans it sucks, and makes absolutely no sense. All the matches ended in screw jobs, and we saw Nicole Bass in a bikini! I almost threw up on that one. I will say
that even though the matches were screw jobs, they were entertaining as hell to watch. The Performers in the WWF go all out every show. What a chokeslam
from the Big Show!!! That was very unexpected. Austin as CEO should prove interesting as far as getting to listen to him, but the man of the night was Test. He got Stephanie to go on a date with him. Way to go, you are now the man. Raw gets a B for this show.

Nitro

-First Hour Junk: Could the Sandman be coming back? If he got reaction for the cigarette, what's stopping him from having a beer next week?? I want Sandman! Scotty Riggs, still in WCW?? Oh joy, Macho has a bucket of sewage.

-Alright, it was great to see the man, Sting, come out and challenge Macho. I'm praying for a clean victory tonight...but it's hard to defeat someone on Viagra, eh?

-Wow, that woman in the bag has talent! More talent than Macho and Nash combined. Just kidding on that remark. This is two weeks that Savage has got shit on him. That stuff has to be fun to scrub off in the shower.

-Oh man, what a tag match! New Champs too! The match began as Flair/Benoit vs. Bam Bam/DDP, and it ended with Benoit and Perry Saturn winning the titles after Flair walked away. Now this is what WCW has been missing; great tag team action! Perry Saturn, for the second week in a row, was stealing the show. He's one of the best performers in the business, and I think he's now getting recognition. Let's hope his injured back holds up. Also, Kanyon joined Bam Bam and DDP. New Horsemen?

-Oh my god! That Luchardor harcore match was great!! Now I'm not much for Luchadors, except La Parka, but this match was great. I wonder if Cyclope is injured, cause he took some nasty bumps. I was loving it when Cyclope came through the ropes and was met with a chair to the face. Spinning DDT through the table was very nice too! Great, and yet very entertaining, match!

-The Cat, former whatever time champion in Karate, needs a crow bar to defeat Horace? I guess it just adds to the angle, which I somehow like? I don't like NWO black and white, but I think their angle with Norton is hilarious. No matter how much they hate each other, they will still remain together.

-Good stuff with Buff and Roddy Piper. Buff deserves a chance. Give it to him!

-Strange stuff with Nash in the limo getting hit in the back. How looney will this angle go?

-Rey Misterio Jr. gets the DQ win from Bobby Duncum Jr.. I guess all of the interference will keep the rappers vs. country bumkins alive!

-Good clean match between the disgruntled Disco and Buff. They have fought before, but it was a good match again.

-Damn it, not another No contest main event. Sting should wipe the floor with Macho. Let him beat him fairly, since Hogan always does. Hehe.

Nitro Phat Stats(excluding 1st hour)

====$Well, I thought that the 3 matches that had clean wins were the best, and they carried the show. The two tag matches, the Luchador Hardcore and the Tag Championship, were the best matches of the night. The other matches were very subpar however. WCW proved to me that they can put on a good match, but they still can't put on a overall solid show. I am glad, however, that they are getting off on Tag wrestling again! I love tag team action! WCW needs a strong main event with an actual winner, as well a less interviews and unconfusing angles. Not too bad of a show, as it was WAY better than last week. No Hogan either!! So this week's edition of Nitro gets a grade of a

B-

James Phire says: Hmm...it wasn't even good for a Nitro. Contortionist, bucket of puke or shit or something, immature pranks in the world title angle, the sluts doing more fighting than Savage. And that car wreck...wasn't that done a few times before on Nitro? Like when The Outsiders ran the Steiner's off the road, and when Hogan ran over Savage, and I think maybe one other time. The best part of the show was Hak looking a little bit like THE SANDMAN with that
cigarette. Other than that it sucked. The whole damn show was shit. Nothing good at all. Screwjobs that weren't interesting, Ric Flair in a match, no Raven, Bischoff making an ass of himself, Schiavone being gay, Hennig and Duncum continuing this incredibly stupid cheap heat angle, no plot twists, no new angles, no real development, just shit. I have to give Nitro a... D- for it's efforts...or lack thereof.

Professor Frank McHone says: This show really stunk. I am so sick of slow moving, no heat matches that I think I am going to puke. The best match of the night was the hardcore luchadore match. That match kicked ass! I don't want to see any more of the rap Vs country music feud. The wrestler being injured in a car angle is once again employed by WCW. I really hate this angle. I am also sick of the build up between Nash and Savage. Must we see their history of hard feelings every segment? I haven't forgotten this either.... Bitchoff, er I mean Bischoff sucks. He gave Raw free plugs again tonight. Way to go moron, as if enough
people already aren't watching Raw. Nitro gets a D for it's efforts.

-As you may or may not heard by now, WCW is really having some troubles with their houseshows. Apparently, ticket sales are extremely low, and only a few great stars show up for the House Shows. Many of the WCW Main Eventers get guarantees in their contracts where they only have to wrestle Nitros, some Thunders, and Pay Per Views. That's garbage, since many of the WCW wrestlers barely making anything are busting their asses at house shows for way less money. Besides, with the weak house show sales, WCW couldn't afford to pay their top stars, so they should force their superstars to wrestle them. Of course, this is WCW, like Burger King, where you can get it your way.

-Lots of rumors suggest that the Hitman might be hanging up the tights very soon. After seeing his younger brother pass away in this business, Bret realized that life was more important than wrestling. I'd feel the same if I were in his shoes. He was contemplating retirement before though, as it seems he's very frustrated with Kevin Nash. He feels that Kevin Nash is holding him back from any pushes, and he feels the heat is from their days in the WWF. Whatever Bret does, I only wish him the best.

-Ha! The word about Terry Funk retiring makes me laugh. He's said it many many times before, but yet has he done it? NO! Until he dies, Terry Funk will never retire. He said he was retiring after his World Title stint in ECW. He had his memorial show, but he was signed by the WWF, where he, along with Cactus Jack, won the tag titles. He'll never retire. It burns in him inside. The second he sits down after he retires, he'll feel the fire buring inside him. This happens to many wrestlers that "retire". They just can't get enough of it. No such thing as retirement in Wrestling.

@Phew! That's all for today's edition of the Phat Daily Column. Keep in mind that this is an opinionated column, and it's nothing to go insane about. So, thanks for reading, and you know what to do...just chill...till the next epidode! This is Mr. Tito, the man who defines DAILY, signing off!

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Mr. Tito © 1999