Welcome to the column that was supposed to be taking the day off today, the PHAT DAILY COLUMN!!! There was an outcry for my early return, and since the demand was there, I took it......
Ok, I'm bullshitting you there, but since I have lots of free time this afternoon after taking my last final for the Spring Quarter, I said hell, why not write the PDC? I watched RAW late last night, so hey, why not review it today? It would be such wonderful fun.
Interesting feedback about the Bret Hart column I wrote on Sunday. Many agreed, with just a few hardcore Bret fans claiming I was too harsh. Well, I meant what I said, and I said what I meant, Mr. Tito's opinion, 100%.
On to the PDC.
Our opening match was Christian versus Kane, which was pretty entertaining with the attempts to cheat by Edge/Christian. But the big note for this match was the WCW run in by Hugh Morrus, who COMPLETELY BOTCHED his moonsault. Yeah, that was a great WCW pick up. Nice of Morrus to blow the biggest spot of his career, which just adds to what I've been saying on how overrated that talent truly is. I've continually said that his ring work sucks, but does anybody listen to me? No, and they wonder why he would mess up the moonsault for the "big" run in.
I can't take anymore Vince McMahon interviews before puking. He just loves himself. This segment featured the return of Mick Foley, who had another contract that he, I guess, signed with Linda before she became looney. Here's the booking meeting to decide tonight's RAW (It's a pardody!!):
Writers: So Vince, how are we going to explain the booking of Jericho vs. Austin for tonight's RAW?
Vince McMahon: Duh....... Ummm..... How about we do another Mick Foley contract?!?
Writers: Vince, we've done that false gig twice now, and everyone has figured out that it's just half-ass booking by now. How about we just have Linda McMahon come out and use the pressure of the upcoming divorce to order the main event?
Vince: Duhhhhhhh.... No, that would be too logical. We'll have Mick Foley pull a contract out of his ass, and then pay Jesse Ventura another $3 Million to come out for a big moment. So not only will we be wasting more of my money, which I could use to buy Ric Flair and Bill Goldberg, but we'll be screwing up the storylines more so that I can do a 20 minute interview each and every week to stroke my ego.
Writers: Whatever..... How about cutting down our 12 hour workdays, just so we won't be wasting our time and our lives when it comes down to you, Vince, making the final and ridiculous decisions.
Although it was a nice touch to add Jesse Ventura, it makes me wonder how many times the WWF will go to the Mick Foley contract pile, despite him saying that he had a few more to go. When they announced this match, I had a feeling that this was the rushed match instead of the King of the Ring main event, and later on, I was correct.
Our next match was Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy. This match was made possible thanks to the ignorant actions of Eddie Guerrero, who sadly got addicted to pain killers. Man, what timing, too, for the WWF was possibly ready to explain why they had Guerrero with the Hardys in the first place. Jeff versus Matt was a good match, with the crowd pretty split up on who to cheer for. Jeff Hardy wins, which makes me wonder who would have won the Matt Hardy vs. Eddie Guerrero match, which was originally intended.
Next, it was the Hollys/Angle vs. the Dudley Boyz. Wow, the crowd was mighty hot for this match. It was a good 6 man match, as I'm a sucker for 6 man matches. The Hollys and Kurt Angle won this match, as I wonder where Angle will be for King of the Ring? He's soo underutilized anymore, although it made sense to team with the Hollys tonight since he was fighting with Spike, despite having heat with Bob for breaking his arm.
Big Show vs. Chris Benoit was next, as I'm sure the guys from Wrestling Observer Live are very thrilled to see it. I can remember an encounter at a Clash of the Champions, back when the Big Show was a lean and mean Giant for WCW. The Giant gave Chris Benoit the BEST CHOKESLAM EVER that night. Anyway, Big Show vs. Benoit was pretty good, with Benoit selling everything like a champ. Benoit got the win in an excellent finish, with good psychology, as Benoit got out of the Chokeslam to slap in the Crossface, which the Big Show fought and Benoit forced! Good to see that the WWF is properly using Big Show. Now how about having Big Show lay down for Rhyno, too?
Wow, the Undertaker wonders who the Stalker of his wife could be. Well, if he went to TheSmarks.com, he'd know that Vince is the one doing the voice. But when it comes down to it, you should now know who the Stalker will end up being after the Main Event, damn it.
Next, we had another KOTR qualifying match between Tazz and Rhyno. From this match, we were able to see how far along Rhyno has progressed in his career, and how backward Tazz's career has gone as an announcer. Watching a recent ECW tape, Tazz is in far superior shape then than he is now or ever was in the WWF. Rhyno got the win, with Heyman telling everyone that it was really an upset. Yeah, like the WWF fans will really believe you there, Paul. If Paul wants to do something correct, he could get his hands in the booking for Tazz's career. But of course, Tazz left ECW right when they got the TNN deal, so you never know, although Tazz returned to beat Mike Awesome to fix the ECW title situation.
Terri vs. Trish Stratus was the next bout, as it was the battle of silicone. Oh wait, it was a bra and panties match. Now this is a match where the WWF could have used Lawler. Trish won after Perry Saturn ran down in bra and panties himself. Yuck!!! I guess this is a product from the many moves knocking Saturn goofy over the last few weeks. Well, I suppose it's something to give Saturn SOME attention in the WWF, which he desparately needs right now.
Last match of the night was Chris Jericho vs. Steve Austin, which was pretty good, but I was a little disappointed at the ending. I figured William Regal would run down since Vince was "barred" from ringside, and his chairshot would have been better to keep credibility on Jericho and give heat to Austin for the dirty win. Instead, Austin got the win by stunning Jericho after he kicked out of the chairshot. Therefore, it buried Jericho, put Austin over as a tougher than the faces heel, and it will now lead to the embarrassment of a main event between Steve Austin and the Undertaker, as the original plan for the Stalker now takes shape, once again! Wow, I REALLY want to see another Undertaker vs. Austin main event. Hey, why doesn't the WWF release the buyrate for Judgment Day, where Austin vs. the Undertaker headlined that show? Why the fuck don't they do that?!? Obviously it was low, but yet gone stupid Vince McMahon doesn't see that.
LAST WORD: This show worried me a great deal. The last 4 shows were some of the best WWF material they've done in a long time, and this week's show had signs that the 2 previous week's hard work may get flushed down the toilet. It seems to me that the WWF wants Austin vs. Undertaker, with Austin unfortunately revealed as the Stalker or at least the one behind it. What a disappointment that will be. It's sad that Vince had no confidence in the past 2 week's work by Jericho and Benoit due to the ratings, when it was really bad booking of months before the past 2 weeks is why the ratings are dropping continually. But that's just my opinion, and I'm giving this week's show a
-King of the Ring Tournament: Winner- Benoit
-Mick Foley vs. William Regal
-Steve Austin vs. the Undertaker
I threw Foley and Regal in there since they were brawling pretty hard on the outside during the Austin vs. Jericho match on RAW. I'm thinking that the WWF will do a Kane intercontinental match, unless he ridicously turns out to be the Stalker or whatever. I still have Benoit winning the KOTR, although Angle and Jericho will probably be tough there. I don't see any of the Hardys or Edge/Christian winning it.
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@That's all for today. I shall be back, tomorrow, with Ratings Analysis and whatever else. I've dropped "Shouts" due to very slow e-mail these days, which gets worse on the 56K and the Compaq from Hell which I'll now use again. See ya tomorrow!
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