Welcome to the Friday edition of the Phat Daily Column. Today, we'll review Smackdown, yadda yadda yadda. What else would I do on a Friday?
BIG NEWS on the feedback front. On the LoP Message Board, I opened up a forum called "Ask Tito", which is a place where you can post feedback about this very column, any concerns regarding myself, or you can ask ANY question about professional wrestling, with a better likelyhood of getting a good answer from the late 1980's to today. To post in this forum, you must sign up for a Username through EZboard, and not only can you just post PDC feedback, but you can participate in LoP's many great forums, such as the wrestling ones, Sports, Entertainment, Misc. Hobbies, and much more.
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Yesterday was a monumental day for me, or at least for my bobblehead collection. I drove all the way up to Weirton, West Virginia's K-Mart, and they had WWF bobbleheads galore! I bought the Rock and finally, Steve Austin to satisfy my bobblehead needs for right now. I could have bought Kane and Triple H, too, but I thought Kane's bobbler looked weird and I'm not too specifically high on Triple H right now. Thanks to Mr. Lee Barker for info on the bobbleheads.
On to the PDC.
WHO IS JOHN CENA?!? I believe he's Prototype, a wrestler signed to OVW a while ago by the WWE and has been making great progress lately. It's said that he was brought into wrestling by the same guy who introduced Sting into professional wrestling. Hence the many similarities, such as freaky charisma and the crazy amounts of energy.
Kurt Angle vs. John Cena was our first match of the night. Cena looked like a million bucks, giving Angle a good bout. Now, whether that's Angle selling everything like a champ or not, we'll never know. But Cena looked more crisp than any of the other recent OVW debuts and had a whole lot of charisma than the once praised Randy Orton. Lots of sweet clotheslines (like Sting) and near falls on Kurt Angle to keep it exciting. I liked it. Great debut and rub for Cena, who lost to a weird looking pin by Angle at the end. Could this been Cena acting like Sting to Kurt Angle's Ric Flair? Well, that's stretching it, but if Cena makes it big, everyone will point to Angle as the man giving him an opportunity to shine.
Afterward, several wrestlers congradulate Cena on his solid debut, and then the Undertaker walks in. OH NOOOOO!!!! Thankfully, it was just a handshake, which is the only rub you'll ever get from that no-good Undertaker, who has yet to truly give back to the industry, aside from putting over Austin at Summerslam 1998 and for helping Maven early on, although he did squash Maven a hundred times after that.
Next match was Hardcore Holly and Val Venis versus Billy and Chuck. I loved Michael Cole's explanation to why Holly and Venis were tagging up: "throughout the years, Val and Holly have been talking about one day tagging up, and now they finally have the opportunity" or something like that. Geesh. Cole was even trying to put over Venis as a legitimate tough guy like Holly and was saying the combination of Venis and Holly had the most experience in the ring. Hello? Gunn has been in the WWF for years, brotha. OK tag match, with Chuck and Suck pulling one out of their ass to win the match. Ewwww...
Sing it with me: Billy Kidman is a lucky man! Billy Kidman is a lucky man! Billy Kidman is a lucky man! (In reference to Torrie Wilson coming out in lingerie, which was a preview for the Divas special.
I don't know about you, but the Jaime Noble, Nidia, and Tajiri segment had me in tears laughing. When Tajiri stars laughing like a madman or when his hormones are turned up to their fullest, it's too much for me to handle. Especially when he had Nidia's gum in his mouth, after she kissed him. Oh my.
Mark Henry vs. Lance Storm was up next. I seriously thought that Storm would be doing the job here, but instead, after getting tossed around the ring, Storm won with a missle dropkick and a superkick out of no where. *PHEW* Here's a challenge for Storm, who regularly updates his commentary. For your next one, why not answer the fans who praise your wrestling ability and insist that the WWE isn't using your abilities in the best way. A good example would be sending you out to wrestle Mark Henry, who is clearly not a good wrestler by any means. How about it Lance?
I love how the WWE keeps putting over Neurotica's "Ride of Your Life" from their new album, as if it's supposed to be a hit single. That's as if anybody will seriously buy that album. I was searching to download "Ride of Your Life", and I had a hell of a time finding it. I doubt that Jerry Lawler or Tazz even has their album, despite putting their weak acting skills on the line, as if they seriously did.
Undertaker would come down, reminding us that his segments and being the Undisputed champion are some of the reasons for low ratings lately. Notice how I said "some". Undertaker would announce that the Rock would be returning to Smackdown on July 11th, which is, good lord, LONG TERM planning by the WWE. Too bad they already hotshot the Rock on RAW a few weeks ago, and embarrassed him at King of the Ring. Kurt Angle would then come down. They'd argue with what happened on last week's Smackdown, and then Angle would challenge the 'Taker to a match next week. Oh please let Angle win the title!!!! Pretty please?!? The booking of the title match for next week was even more long term booking. What is going on around here? Are the writers actually caring now?
And yes, Billy Kidman is a God. (in reference to Torrie's second appearance)
Next, it was Test vs. Rikishi. The only thing that amazed me about this match was how Rikishi can always flip when being clotheslined. How can he do that? Lame DQ finish, which will add Test to the new Canadian stable started by Lance Storm. I give it 2 more weeks until the group breaks up completely.
More seeds of Hulk Hogan versus Vince McMahon were planted, as we went backstage to see Vince dogging Hogan for tapping out to Kurt Angle at King of the Ring. Vince then said Jericho will probably do the same, to which Hogan pointed at Vince's chest and said "one day" or something like that. Can't wait. Was this a Hogan vs. McMahon segment, or a 5 minute plug for the new Stacy Keibler g-string poster that can be purchased at the WWE Shopzone?
Jaime Noble/Tajiri vs. God and Hurricane was up next. Did I mention that Billy Kidman was God? Anyway, they fought in this Cruiserweight tag bout, which was decent for WWE television. We definitely need Rey Misterio to come in and liven things up, and let's hope that the NWA-TNA lights a fire underneath the WWE to really get the Cruiserweight division going. God hit his shooting star press on Tajiri to get the win.
Torrie Wilson would come out yet again. In Billy Kidman we trust. Kidman is engaged to Torrie Wilson in real life, if you have YET to get the joke. That's something to ask at the "Ask Tito" forum. Stacy Keibler comes out in a more revealing schoolgirl uniform than Britney Spears once wore. Stacy be thy name. Dawn Marie would come out, display her usual poor acting skills, and then Torrie and Stacy would start fighting. Tell me, what is Dawn Marie's official role?
Next, we had Deacon Bautista/D'Von versus Faarooq/Randy Orton. Holy Randy Orton sighting! I thought he was already turfed off the big shows. Damn, Deacon looks freakin' huge, and he was unstoppable in the match. I'm convinced that the WWE the guy in this lame gimmick just so fans wouldn't chant "Goldberg" at him. It certainly worked, but he still looks completely out of place in his gimmick.
Final match was Hulk Hogan vs. Chris Jericho. The effort was certainly there, but it's really hard for anyone to get anything out of Hogan in this day and age. I believe that many teenagers recognize how slow and weak Hogan's wrestling ability is, in comparison to their hero, the Rock, which is a good reason why Smackdown is losing so many teenager viewers. Jericho got himself disqualified, yay, and then Edge made his big return by pounding on Jericho. Good return, as it looks like Edge put on some more muscle? Maybe it was because he was actually flexing for the first time, I don't know?
LAST WORD: This show was better than what I expected on paper, but it still lacked any strong matches at the top of the card. Cena vs. Angle was good, and attempts at pushing newer talent were made tonight. The WWE needs to realize that pushing newer talent to the top takes a great deal of time. Give Angle the Undisputed title, that way he can travel to both television shows and really hope both shows gain some ratings. Plus, when Angle travels to both shows, he can put over talent on both sides, unlike the Undertaker. I'll give this show a
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@Week in Review to hit the Main Page sometime during this weekend. Until then, just chill....
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