Welcome to the most recent edition of the Phat Daily Column. Today, we'll talk about the foul attempt the WWE made at producing a Smackdown last night. I liked the petty argument about how Smackdown's quality was better because it's taped, as opposed to live, like RAW is. Ok, so when we get a really bad edition of Smackdown, then we must feel bad for those in the audience who suffered through it live.
And to add fuel to an already lit fire, the WWE hired Vince Russo back for his creative input. Oh my gosh. Desparate times call for desparate measures, and Vince McMahon is REALLY desparate right now to hire Russo. Difference between the WWF of 1998 and the WWE of 2002: in 1998, we had plenty of fresh faces to use, such as Steve Austin, Rock, and the new gimmicks for Mick Foley and the heel Vince McMahon. My, have times changed. The WWE has run every possible angle for all of its wrestlers in the ground, and they absolutely refuse to elevate any new talent because the guys who made the company in 1998 are still hanging around as if they can make lightning strike twice.
I can't wait to laugh at the newer WWE shows. Can you imagine how flat the attempts at smut will be nowadays? Plus, if the WWE even tries to do a Hulk Hogan vs. Vince Russo feud, I'll be on the ground laughing. No WWF fans even cared about that incident to even try to use it in the WWE in 2002. How about a Vince Russo vs. Vince McMahon feud? *YAWN* What the WWE should do is to tie Russo up to a wall and ask for ideas every once in a while. Take the best one of the many ones he'll say, and give him a cookie afterward.
It's only getting worse, by the day, for the WWE. They just did a 4.4 in the overnights, which should translate into the lower 3.0 ratings overall. Just pitiful. At this rate, 2003 will be a chaotic year, profit-wise. 1997 was the last year the WWE was in the red in terms of profits, and that was a rebuilding year.
Time to rip Smackdown apart. On to the PDC.
By the way, I apologize for botching the time of the TNN Divas special. My bad, as it looks like I don't care to pay attention to details anymore when it comes to WWE stuff. In a rather goofy segment, Torrie Wilson is backstage, thanking someone for her new bra and panties when Dawn Marie and Stacy Keibler get jealous. Torrie was SMOKIN', as always.
Our unfortunate first match was Christian vs. Rikishi. Michael Cole had a complete boner for Rikishi tonight, saying he was on the brink of superstardom, or something like that. Huh?!? Why is it that every time Rikishi shows up, my eyes roll, I want to change the channel, and I get frustrated when better talent are jobbed at his expense? Short match, as Rikishi pinned Christian off a non-finisher, but Christian's foot was on the ropes. Wow, that's a repeat of the RVD vs. Undertaker match for the Undisputed title a few weeks ago.
Lance Storm would come down, however, and yell at the ref for his error and then get on the microphone and cut a promo. The promo was a good anti-American one until it went borderline tasteless when mentioning how millions around the world hate America. That's in the light of terrorism, buddy, so the WWE writers better watch what they are feeding their wrestlers anymore.
Of course, before Storm could get any true heat for his promo, we cut immediately to Triple H backstage for an interview. Damn, it was a lame one, too, as Triple H tried to play a coolguy by taking the interviewer's lines and making fun of Billy Gunn's new sexual preference, as if it was new at all. This is a problem. Triple H sucks as a face, so why not turn him heel? It's time to face it that nobody is as good of a face as Steve Austin or the Rock, no matter how jealous Triple H can get.
Jaime Noble and Nidia were backstage, with Noble checking her out the whole time while Nidia was dogging her ex-boyfriend, the Hurricane. Nidia and Noble remind me of a couple at the bowling alley (I'm in a bowling league now) who are all over each other, yet they are apparently married to different people. Nidia had Hurricane's mask under her dress. I'm sure many would want to wear that mask right now.
Triple H vs. Billy was next. Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. After several attempts of trying to screw Triple H in his match by Rico and Chuck (ewwww), he'd eventually overcome it to win the match against Billy via Pedigree. Yipee. The Undertaker would try to attack but fail, but good ol' Kurt Angle was there to FINALLY be successful in taking down Triple H with a chairshot. Jesus, Triple H is damn near invincible in that ring. Afterward, Undertaker would demand a match against Angle when confronting Vince. SMELL THE RATINGS with that Main Event. It's time to realize that the Undertaker does not draw in fans, nor has he ever!
Yeah, take that! When the Undertaker was the main man in the mid-1990's, was business good? No. 1998's success was Austin vs. McMahon, where the Undertaker was merely a pawn in that feud. When the Undertaker was hurt, business became better because new stars could be created. Now that he's shoved himself on top, namely becoming the Undisputed champion, look at the ratings....
Chris Jericho vs. Val Venis for the KOTR tourney was next. Good midcard match, although there was little doubt that Val Venis would advance, given that the winner would face Rob Van Dam. Notice the brackets, people... 2 Heels will be wrestling on one side, while a face versus a heel will be wrestling on the other side. That being said, it's likely to be a Rob Van Dam vs. Brock Lesnar final, as Jericho won't be fighting any heels in the finals. Hell no!
Smackdown showed the WHOLE segment of the Rock returning from RAW. Man, that does NO good for the WWE right now, as the remaining fanbase already saw the segment on RAW, since more people watch RAW than Smackdown. Pathetic. The WWE would have been better off by having Rock in Sacramento instead of just showing clips. How hard is it to convince Rocky to do 2 shows in places relatively close to each other?
Next match was Hardcore Holly vs. Test for the King of the Ring tourney. BORING! It's funny how the WWE pushes Holly for a while, and then brings him down at the same time. Yet another Test push. Give it up!!!!! I'm hoping that Test gives it his all at KOTR to make it something of a match against Brock Lesnar, whom he'll probably have to put over. Please, WWE creative team, decide if Holly is a HEEL or a FACE.
Our main event was (or wasn't) Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle. They actually brawled in Vince's room before the match, making us all wet in excitement for their match later on. Not a very good match, as the Undertaker did his share of no-selling on any of Angle's moves. Triple H would eventually come out and distract the 'Taker enough to where he'd get rolled up by Kurt Angle. The roll up... wow, that finish hasn't been overdone lately. Hulk Hogan would join the brawl afterward, slapping Angle in an anklelock that made Rock's version of the Crippler Crossface look great.
LAST WORD: Yet another eyesore of a show by the WWE. Good things better happen at King of the Ring, or it's going to be a long summer or year for the WWE, in what I'm predicting to be some profit losses very soon. The WWE shows have been nothing short of embarrassing and insulting to professional wrestling, and bringing back Vince Russo, a very burnt out one let me add, won't fix things. I'll give this show a
AOL Instant Messenger: BookerTito - It's recommended that you send your questions or feedback as your first message so that it could be answered, instead of saying "hi", "hey", "what's up" or whatever else. Just get to the point, please, to make it easier since I get drilled with messages.
WRESTLEPALOOZA.com - Audio Show, Columns, News, and more!
The Backyard Wrestling Link - Links to many backyard federations and more!
KOLTERSHOCK!!! - A site that you shouldn't view with small children present!
X-Entertainment.com - One of the most entertaining pages on the net!
@Week in Review to probably be up sometime during Saturday evening. Until then, just chill and laugh very hard when the final number of Smackdown comes out.
Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.