Welcome back to yet another edition of the Phat Daily Column. Monday Night just went right by, and the returning Monday Night Impressions are ready to deliver a punch! Ha! Anyways, on to the PDC.

Monday Night Impressions

Monday Nitro

-First Hour Blues: Well, it was nice to see Eddie Guererro(sp?) back. He looks to be in good shape. A match that I'm actually glad that ended in a dead finish was Kidman vs. Hak. Both didn't need to lose that match, as Kidman has to keep his reputation as a top cruiserweight, and Hak as one of the top "hardcore" wrestlers. What's with Hennig being such an ass about the music? Why doesn't he just fight better wrestlers also? Van Hammer is still horrible. Konnan/Misterio vs. Hennig/Duncum Jr. was a decent match, but nothing impressive. Keep in mind that the first hour is disregarded in Mr. Tito's grades. -David Flair is the worst wrestler...EVER!! Erik Watts was beating his ass the whole time. Why the hell does he have television time? Hell, Bischoff was talking about David's weak wrestling skill and how his daddy is the reason for his television time. -I was laughing at the Cat FINALLY defeating Scott Norton. I feel really bad for the rest of the nWo black and white, cause Norton is going to kill them. -I didn't care much for Savage and his ladies beating down the Nash imposter, except for the Miss Madness lady. She's got some skills!! On Thunder she dropkicked Buff from the top rope, and tonight she gave a frankensteiner to the Nash fake guy. Hey, that's not the first guy impersonating Kevin Nash. HA! -Buff nailed a sweet Blockbuster on Bobby Eaton tonight, but don't discredit the Eaton. He's a classic in his own right. I just wish I had a time machine to bring back the old Midnight Express just to show WCW what tag wrestling really is. -Saturn, since Raven and Kanyon were "laid out", vs. DDP/Bam Bam. I was really cheering for Saturn tonight, and I'm so happy he ditched the dress. He took both of those so-called "main eventers", and had them beat until Kanyon "dropped the ball" and got pinned with a Discus Punch? Not to disregard the discus punch since is was the move of the great Kerry Von Erich, but DDP just got Death Valley Drivered, so how much was on that punch? Did I miss a foreign object? Oh joy, Diamond Dallas Trash and Bam Bam are champs. -Steiner vs. Sting was garbage. They did a little bit of damage to each other in the cage, and stupid Tank screwed Sting. Oh, I just love no-contest matches.

Nitro Phat Stats(no first hour)

Matches: 5, excluding the Macho garbage Clean Wins: 2 Screw job wins: 2 No Contests: 1 Disqualifications: 0 =====$Well, this edition of Nitro was alright, yet it lacked what it needs to take some ratings away from the WWF Juggernaut. The Saturn match really carried the show, and one match can't do it all. This edition of Nitro recieves a Tito grade of a

C

for this week's show. Nothing spectacular happened. Wait a second, only 5 matches in the second and third hour? That's not good. Professor Frank McHone of Sexual Wrestling says: I am so disgusted at WCW right now, that I would rather watch a local indy fed. The Astrodome was only a quarter full, the Nitro Girls don't get any crowd reaction anymore, and the angles are so predictable. If anyone did not see Abbott turning on Sting and joining Steiner, you are a complete mark, with no hope of survival. The tag titles switched hands. Oh joy, DDP and Bam Bam are the champs. At least WCW is doing something with the tag division. Overall, I think this edition of Nitro sucked. They get worse and worse everyweek. It gets a D.

RAW is WAR

-Raw began with highlights of Owen's funeral. Rest in Peace Owen..I'll never forget you. -Oh joy, my favorite part of Raw's, Corporate Ministry interviews. Actually, this one was decent. It was good to see Vince call on the Undertaker, and it was good to see that Stone Cold did a sneak attack on the CM. Too bad he never thanks the Union for saving his ass. -It looks like the WWF has HUGE plans for Mr. Ass, as he wasn't cleanly pinned, and that's versus a rather large man called the Big Show. Hmm. -Alright, I love the Beaver Cleavage Gimmick, but please stick to skits. If you didn't know by now, Beaver was Mosh from the Headbangers, and he was the weaker half of the duo. He doesn't have that much skill in the ring, and a much more talented wrestler(Christian) had him beat. Stay in the skits, don't wrestle Beaver. -Wow, Jeff Jarrett keeps going up and up in the WWF, finally, by winning the IC title. Too bad the Godfather lost though. -Undertaker screwed up by throwing the ref during his match with Vince to determine if Stone Cold gets another shot. What a maroon! -Road Dogg and Bossman feuding? Strange. -Damn Shane, he cost my two favorite WWF wrestlers, Kane and X-Pac, the tag straps! Damn it! The Acolytes are a team to respect though. -Wow, Val beat Shamrock. Should that happen in real life? That's why this is studio wrestling! -Finally, Mankind can finally take time off to get those knees fixed after his match that supposively will put him out of wrestling for a while against Triple H. -Well, a nice no-contest with Stone Cold vs. the Undertaker, but we were left with a nice cliffhanger with the "Higher Power" coming out. Kinda like a soap opera.

RAW Phat Stats

Matches: 9 Clean Wins: 2 Screw Job Wins: 4 No Contests: 0 Disqualifications: 3 ====$Well, this edition of RAW was decent, but no matches really standing out, except for the two title changes. This edition of RAW gets a solid

B

for its show this week. Professor Frank McHone of Sexual Wrestling says: Raw- Two title changes, some action filled matches, and pure entertainment. I must be talking about Raw. Double J finally gets a singles title. He deserves it. He is ultra talented. The Acolytes have great talent also. They will make good tag champs. HHH and Mankind put on a great show, as did Venis and Shamrock. I am going to go out on a limb and say the "Higher Power", is none other than HBK himself. I say this after watching and careful discussion with James Phire who believes this also. Overall, this edition of Raw gets a B+.

Wrestling News

-So, with the attack on Mankind's knee by Triple H with a sledge hammer, does this mean that Mankind will have some time off to get his knees fixed? I really hope so, that way he can come back when Triple H is eventually champ and come back to continue their feud. Hopefully, he's taking time off. -The word now is that Goldberg is having knee surgery, and he will be out 4-6 weeks. Well, I wonder if those 4-6 weeks could do the following. One, make Goldberg realize that he's actually getting a nice chunk of change already, and his contract disputes will end. OR two, Bischoff will realize, with the lowering ratings to give Goldberg a raise, and push him like never before. I just hope the first part happens, as he gets paid enough. -What on earth is going on? Undertaker has a comic, Mankind will have a comic, and now Stone Cold will have a comic?? Anyone else in the WWF want a comic? It goes to show that the WWF is very hot right now. I heard the Undertaker's comic is doing very well in sales, and I expect the same for Mankind's and Stone Cold's. Hey, wait a second, didn't Kevin Nash have his own comic book? Where is that anymore? Anyways, let's hope these comics don't flop just like the original issue of WCW comics did a few years back.

Phat Chat News!

-Well, Phat Chat is back this week, and with a great guest. This week's guest is none other than the great Kirk Huffman. He's one of the top internet reporters on the net, so this Wednesday at 7:30 Eastern, you can come in and chat or ask questions to Kirk. How do you get to Phat Chat you ask? To get to it by Java, go to http://talk.to/mrtito. To get to it by mIRC, use the server irc.webchatting.com and channel #pdc. I hope to see you there!

@Well, that's it for today. Hopefully, ratings will be in tomorrow, so until next time, just chill...till the next episode. This is Mr. Tito, NEVER taking a day off, signing off.

Lords of Pain/Wrestling Empire

Take Care, and Happy Wrestling.