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    Mr. Tito's Phat Daily Column
    Submitted by Mr. Tito on 6-19-00 @ 10:04 EST


    Ah yes, Monday Night is just around the corner. What better way to get ready for this wonderful night by hyping what could or will happen tonight? On one side, the WWF is *attempting* to butter up their viewers for their upcoming Pay Per View, the King of the Ring. On the other hand, WCW is trying their best to make sense of their 'surprise' they revealed last week. We'll see the winners tomorrow, but for now, let's evaluate this week's shows before they happen.


    WCW


    With some bad mistakes and some shake-ups in WCW lately, let me say something positive: Russo probably won't be at Nitro! Yipee! Now that is some good news we can all enjoy. Why enjoy? Like the great Tyler Riggs said, the bookers will consist of a the current assistant bookers and the new road agents, Disco Inferno and Kanyon. Who knows, maybe this team will bring a fresh and understandable show for WCW, which they really haven't seen in weeks. Russo goes WAY too fast in his shows, and he tries too many things for shock value. Maybe this team can be a good change.


    First off, it's nice of WCW.com to start using Flash intros. It's also real nice to try using your computer, using a 56k connection with Flash. I'd imagine it's worse with 33.6k or 28.8k connections, which a good many users still have. Do you, like the WWF, ever consider this?


    For tonight, Kevin Nash wants revenge on Bill Goldberg for last week's Nitro! You know what that means! Yet another beat down for Kevin Nash. WCW will continue to push Goldberg as their top heel, and mowing over the "top face" is the way to go. Yes, I said the top face, because unfortunately, Nash is now in that position. Lord only knows that Sting gets the loudest pop of the current faces, but we can't listen to the crowd, now can we?


    Interesting SIX MAN TAG match tonight between Kronic/Buff vs. the newly reformed Triple Threat(Candido, Douglas, and Bam Bam). I'm glad to see that WCW allowed for the reformation of the Triple Threat, because each wrestler can benefit. They drew lots of heat in ECW for their evil ways, but of course, that's ECW's crowds, and they pop for everything! I do, for this match, smell a swerve with Buff Bagwell in this match. It just seems odd for him to tag with Kronic.


    Big Vito will take on his partner Johnny the Bull for the hardcore title. Besides the Bischoff fiasco, the hardcore title is probably the only belt, besides the US title lately, to have some promise. Every hardcore title match is a battle, and I don't know who is responsible for that. Wow, it could actually be Vince Russo, because the WWF Hardcore Title had some good matches during Russo's days as a writer, but eventually reverted into the comedy that it is today. So maybe that's ONE good thing Russo has done lately.


    "The Perfect Event", which is Chuck Palumbo and Shawn Stasiak, two wrestlers who truly couldn't draw a flea, will put their titles up against the stiffest team in wrestling, Rick Steiner and Tank Abbott. Hey, didn't Tank and Rick have their problems at Great American Bash? See, people wonder why I say "confusing". I bet the Perfect Event drops the straps here! That way, we can have a match between two non-selling tag teams when you get Kronic in the ring!


    3 Way Dance! 3 Way Dance! Well, not a good one, but we have one tonight with the champ, Lt. Loco Chavo vs. Juvy vs. the Artist. I look for the artist to win this match, just because everyone and their mother will run in on this match. It has potential to be a decent match, especially with Chavo and Juvy, but lord knows we can't avoid a clusterfuck.


    Maybe more Nitro preview with the WCW version of Code Red, WCW Reload!


    WWF


    Last night I caught Heat, and I must say, the WWF was stacking the deck!!! They had some good matches..and most of all, the had Triple H wrestling on Heat. Let me say that again: Triple H wrestled on Heat. You see, the WWF wants to make sure that their 3rd show stays above WCW's first show. Since Heat has dipped below even Thunder in the ratings, the WWF stepped it up last night. Oh well, if it brings a better 3rd show, then it works for me.


    Expect a whole bunch of King of the Ring elimination matches, probably as much as 3 or more. The tournament is being rushed right now thanks to the patient booking of it, and the matches should be strong for this second round. Bull Buchanan and Val Venis advanced last night on Heat. Of course, the rest of the tournament was sooo rigged beyond belief. Eventually, we will have Chyna vs. Eddie Guerrero, Crash Holly vs. Hardcore Holly, and Rikishi Phatu vs. Scotty 2 Hottie. How ironic are those pairings? How original too.


    You know the drill tonight. Either the opener or the second or third segment, we will be treated to either a Corporation X interview, or the Rock coming out to call on Corporation X. So predictable, and the factor which limits the WWF from putting on a super show. I bet I can predict the interview too:


    *NO CHANCE IN HELL music hits. Out comes Triple H, Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon, Stephanie McMahon, Xpac, Road Dogg, Tori, and the Stooges*


    Triple H: I am the Game. Did I mention that I was the Game? At King of the Ring, not only will the match have Kane/Undertaker/Rock attacking each other for the #1 contender spot, but it will be a "NO HOLDS BARRED" match now!


    Vince: Good job my boy. To hype a match, especially the week before a Pay Per View, we always make it a "NO HOLDS BARRED" match. Although I've done it at least 300 times in my life, as long as the fans crave it, they will buy it! Yet Judgment Day's buyrate was lower than usual...hmm, anyway, I really hate Stone Cold...oh wait, wrong feud! I hate the Rock!


    *Rock's music hits, he comes out*


    Rock: Finally, the Rock has come back to (insert city here). What are you ROODY-POO CANDYASSES doing in the Rock's ring?


    Triple H: We were about to predict your next line......


    Rock: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU ARE DOING IN THE RING!!!


    Triple H: Gee, you got us there Rock. You almost got us the FIRST time you did it. Anyway Rock, I challenge you to a match!


    Rock: A match? THAT'S THE BIGGEST LOAD OF MONKEYCRAP!! Wait, a match?


    Triple H: Yes a match. Me, Bull Buchanan, and Stephanie vs. the Rock and Kurt Angle!


    *crowd chants: Smell the Ratings *clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap* Smell the Ratings *clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**clap**


    Rock: How dare you book me in another false match to possibly hype the Pay Per View!


    Vince: Sorry, we have a vast roster of great Midcarders right now, but we can't ruin our core wrestlers of Triple H, Kane, Undertaker, and the Rock...and us McMahons must have our television time and spotlight too....


    *The Next Episode hits the speakers...and out of the curtains, it's Mr. Tito!*


    Mr. Tito: My apples have arrived in the WWF!!!


    *Crowd is shocked!*


    Mr. Tito: I have been sent here to end this long 20 minute interview which is used to hype cheesy matches involving the Rock and Corporation X! Ever since the days of Stone Cold vs. Vince, these long interviews have been abused. Sure, with Stone Cold's attitude then, they drew the crowds. They drew the fans, and they drew interest. Now, you fools are just living off the success of that great era. Ever since you had the great angle of Triple H accidentally marrying Stephanie, it has been tarnished.


    *Crowd chants: "Tito, Tito, Tito, Tito..."*


    Mr. Tito: Why not just use 5 minutes of the show, therefore, you could involve more of your excellent midcarders?


    Vince: Because cruise control is so nice to be in, especially when their is trouble in another fed's lockerroom and booking committee.


    Mr. Tito: Oh, I understand. I will go back to my cave now.


    @That's all for today's column. I'll be back tomorrow with more PDC, so just chill...till the next episode.

    Phat Pharm: NEW and EXCITING Edition of "Makin' The Tag" is up! CLICK HERE AND READ IT!!!!!!!!!!!!


    Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

    Mr. Tito 2000 Exclusive to Lordsofpain.net


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