Welcome to the Monday edition of Mr. Tito's Phat Daily Column. Today, we'll talk about the latest stuff in professional wrestling, as well as hyping tonight's edition of RAW. Nothing like hyping a show headed up by a former soap opera writer who didn't grow up as a wrestling fan.

A couple of fans were confused at my award in the Weekend column for the Undertaker. I awarded him the "NBA WEST of Wrestling". Week after week, the Undertaker dominates in the WWE and give his seniority, there's no stopping that. For some reason or another, the NBA West has the best basketball teams, and probably half of the playoff teams this year could probably take the New Jersey Nets in the finals.

I was surprised to see many different Smackdown reviews last Thursday on the internet. Many bashed the Hogan vs. Triple H match, with their mind set on totally hating anything Hogan does. Now, I can say that I'm not the biggest Hogan fan myself, but he's at least trying to wrestle in his very old age and he did lose to Triple H Thursday night. That's all you can ask for. If you're expecting Triple H to pull out a 4 to 5 star match out of his ass against Hogan, think again. I have a feeling that this loss will, slowly but surely (don't call me Shirley) make him into a upper midcard attraction, such as fighting the Angles, the Jerichos, or anyone near the top of the mountain.

Anyway, on to the PDC.


-Smackdown's final rating was a 3.3, which is yet another low rating for the only UPN show not producing reruns. I guess this is why Hogan gets bashed for whatever he does, and for good reason. Triple H vs. Hulk Hogan headlined a Pay Per View a while ago, and now it draws such poor numbers on network television. I just think the overall downturn in the ratings has been on its way for a while, ever since the WWE shot down its Wrestlemania 17 momentum with the Triple H/Steve Austin vs. Undertaker/Kane feud and the complete screw up of the WCW and ECW Invasions, as fans are just sick of weak storylines and the same wrestlers getting pushed or shoved down their throats. That simple.

-I caught parts of WWE Velocity... I thought it was weird seeing the Godfather in his new carnation, the Godfather Thug. He went from someone heavily into voodoo, to the supreme fighting machine, to Nation of Domination member, full blown Pimp, Right to Censor member, to an "escort" service provider, and then to finally become a Gangsta. No matter what gimmick you slap on the Godfather, fans will still remember the old gimmicks and they will still see the same old wrestling ability.

The other part I caught was Linda from Tough Enough 2 taking on Ivory. Linda is VERY GREEN in her wrestling ability, badly mistiming some spots and fighting more with hair getting in her eyes than concentrating on her match. Put her in a ponytail! I do see potential, which is why I wonder what the thinking process of exposing her on television was. I guess since it's Velocity, nobody will care? I was surprised at her height. She's 6 feet tall, my height actually. She did have a nice vertical suplex, and with her size, man, that will be an effective move in the future. Throw her to Jim Cornette, let him teach her the fundamentals of the wrestling business.

In reading a newsbyte about the developmental territories, I found it hilarious that developmental wrestlers were complaining about learning older material instead of concentrating on newer stuff. Actually, Cornette and Thatcher are just teaching wrestlers the basic fundamentals to be an all around wrestler, not just some spot machine. The WWE wants wrestlers who can do a little bit of everything, and without basic fundamentals, the WWE will look over a certain wrestler. That's why many spot hitting wrestlers are surfing the independent circuit, coming to WWE tryout camps and getting turned down.

Jackie did a heel turn on Linda, too, to help Ivory win the match. Jackie, herself, was looking great, probably thanks to WWE cosmetics. If anyone is questioning why the WWE took her, well, you don't see Jake or Kenny wrestling AND selling calendars, now do you? Didn't think so.

I will note that I really did like the new WWE Desire video. It features yet another Creed song, but it's quite nice. It gives a good backstage look at wrestlers before an event, during an event, and afterward. Aside from getting overplayed on the radio, it looks like Creed is doing quite well on working with the WWE to produce some great videos.

-While we're on the subject of Tough Enough 2, I did catch WWE Confidential. The behind the scenes look at the "controversy" of WWE was lame, but at least it was proven by Kenny and Jake talking via phone conversations on the show. Jake, especially, was such a dick as he downgraded the women for winning the contest. So much for that WWE developmental contract, UNLESS this has been a work from the start. I wouldn't doubt it, and I really hope it's revealed if it does. Maybe it could get some national media coverage, and the show would get embarrassed forever. I doubt it was worked though. Looking back on it, Linda and Jackie were probably the 2 best out of the bunch, at least for right now.

As for the rest of Confidential, I thought it sucked. They took TWO segments from 2 different WWE videos, as they had the "Before they Were Superstars" segment on Bradshaw, and the segment on Steve Austin from the "What?" video, where he does certain stuff after the cameras turn off on television events. What happens when those run out? I'm telling ya, in a few weeks, the WWE will get bored bothering with this show, and BOOM, it will become yet another boring recap show.

How about this for Confidential? Why not have past WCW wrestlers come on and talk about their days in WCW? Why not acknowledge that WCW was a success, and have former WCW wrestlers offer their suggestions to why the promotion failed. Maybe the same for ECW?


WWE.com is suggesting that Shawn Michaels is going to address the fans about WHY he joined the overdone New World Order group. Good. I'll be tuned into that one, guaranteed. Michaels, back in the day, could cut a promo with the best of them, even when he just did his occasional commissioner spots. Michaels is especially great when he's a heel, but given Nash's circumstances and the fact that Flair's faction is the main heel group, it's likely he'll act like a face tonight. Oh well, the fact that he's back is a good thing.

Steve Austin is likely to provide plenty of sports entertainment, as Ric Flair must now serve as Austin's personal assistant. Anderson and Flair threatened that Austin would clean toilets if he lost, so it will probably be something dirty that Flair will have to perform for Austin tonight. Maybe Austin will order Ric Flair to beat up his own son, David Flair, har har, I'm so funny. Expect lots of "what" promos tonight... Do you know how to clean a toilet? WHAT Shine it up real nice? WHAT Make it spiffy? WHAT So that I don't get infections from sitting on it? WHAT Using a toothbrush? WHAT Or hairs from Arn Anderson's beard? WHAT And after I take a mean Stone Cold shit... WHAT You'll have to get me some toilet paper... WHAT The fluffy kind. WHAT The soft kind. WHAT The quilted kind. WHAT Not the scratchy kind. WHAT Scratchy kind will knock the crap out of my hemorrhoids. WHAT And if you get me the scratchy kind... WHAT I'll give you hemorrhoids. WHAT. Ok, I'll stop before I get too ridiculous here.

Also tonight, more King of the Ring qualifying matches. Who will wrestle in them? Who knows! The WWE doesn't even know, at this point, on who will wrestle in those matches. It's especially not good when the WWE has avoided paying any good attention to the midcarders, thereby leaving the WWE with a problem of what would make a good tournament.

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@RAW review tomorrow, mmmmmkay?

Take Care, and Thanks for Reading.

Mr. Tito 1998 - 2002 Exclusive to LordsofPain.net/WrestlingHeadlines.com