Welcome to the Saturday Edition of the Phat Daily Column. Saturdays, as if you didn't read on this day, are when we shall take a trip away from the Big 2 Superpowers of wrestling. Instead, we will look at the #3 ranked federation in the land, who just happens to have a show currently on TNN. If you didn't know, they have pay per views, and a very good following on the road. They have a great core of fans who are loyal no matter how hard times get, or how many wrestlers jump to the Big 2. The federation..ECW, or Extreme Championship Wrestling. On to the PDC.
Before we get into the 'ECW Day', I want to say a few things about the late Gordon Solie, who left our world the other night. For those of you who are new to the 'sport' of wrestling, Solie was one of the best announcers or commentators in the 80s and before that. He was the leading man in wrestling journalism, and had a vast knowledge for wrestling. It was always a treat to listen to his commentary, or just listening to him call a match. It's a shame that he suffered on his way out, because a great man like him should go out like a champ. I will definately miss him. I have the pleasure of popping in a few tapes to remember him, as he did a great job of narrating the 80s wrestling product with Bill Apter in the video "Lords of the Ring", along with many "Best of Starrcade" videos to look back on. Maybe you rest in peace Gordon.
Nothing else I want to discuss right now, as lots of points would come during the ECW on TNN show. By the way, Billy Corgan's appearance was in the news a little bit for this ECW on TNN show, so maybe we can see ECW on TNN jump past the 1.0 mark for the first time in a while? Well, we'll see, as a little help by the WWF didn't do much for the ECW on TNN product. Speaking of that show, let's go to it now!
Rhino pulls out a table, throws it in the ring. Uh oh. He puts it in the corner, but the Sandman is in the ring. Cane! Cane! Cane Russian Legsweep! Sandman spears Rhino through the table. Wow, these guys really need to start feuding with other people! Enter Sandman hits, and he's got a beer out.
ECW Intro is shown. They still have a few older highlights to delete. Oh well. The announcers..."welcome to Extreme Championship Wrestling, I'm Joey Styles"...
Joel Gertner: Well, well, well...tis I the quintessential stud muffin, Joel, I'm not on Survivor, and I'm not on Big Brother..and if I'm not on top of your sister, then I'm on top of your mother(LOL), the camera is on Joey, and the camera is on me, and when Regis kicked her off, I was on top of Kathy Lee(LOL), the censors hate moi, and they hate this man, Paul E., and can you believe this network is owned by MTV(Ouch!).
Billy Corgan comes out with a guitar. Tito's favorite Smashing Pumpkin song: Disarm.
ECW Hotline: ECW Tag champs will be crowned...when and where. Another WWF diva poses for Playboy(Chyna). WCW fires one of their top superstars(??), and Chris Jericho will follow in the footsteps of the Rock, Mick Foley, and the big show? What the? That was hosted by Joey Styles, and you can call it by dialing 1-900-Run4ECW. Make ECW money to pay their wrestlers!
Hardcore Heaven 99. Buy it cause Sid Vicious got his ass kicked by the Impact Players!
Commercial: 2 minutes and 33 seconds
Corgan in the ring, getting ready to play Disarm for Mr. Tito. Lou E. and the NETWORK come in to ruin my song. :*( Lou E. kills him here. Lou questions why he is here, since Steve Corino punked out his devil worshipping associate, Fred Durst. Lou is gonna punk Corgan out tonight. He says his music sucks, his band is breaking up because of his ego, and he can't sell a record in America worth his God forsaken life. Wow, what a promo! Corgan then smashes a guitar over his head, and the Network(Anton, Corino, and Victory) run in to save him. Then, Jerry Lynn and Tommy Dreamer run to the ring, and attack! They challenge Anton and Corino to a FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE match tonight.
Commercial: exactly 3 minutes
Psychosis comes out to a good reception. First time ever on TNN. Tajiri comes out, BUT, he's attacked by Little Guido and Big Sal. Wow, they are crushing Tajiri's head by putting their foot on a chair over his head. Damn it, there goes a great TNN match. Little Guido challenges Psychosis to a match now.
Commercial: 2 minutes and 30 seconds
Psychosis vs. Little Guido
Guido hits him in the ropes, and sunset flip. 2 count only. Reversals everywhere, and then Psychosis frankensteiners him to the outside. Psychosis then jumps on both members of the FBI. Cool. Baseball slide under the legs, and drops Guido on the mad. Spinning heel kick from the top by Psychosis, 2 count only. Reversal, and a facebuster. 2 count only. Kicks in the corner, and Psychosis is thrown in the corner. Guido is slamming his head into the post now. OUCH! Guido with the "sicilian slice". 2 count only. Chops on the ropes, Psychosis kicks him. Frankensteiner into a pin by Psychosis, 2 count only. Back up, Guido jacks him with a mean punch/clothesline for a 2 count only. Double chop to the head, and a small dropkick to the face by Guido from the top. Legdrop, and Guido throws Psychosis over the top. Sal throws Psychosis into the railing, and he runs into him. 2 count only! Chops everywere now! Guido fails on the Impailer, and then gets a few reversals into a jawbreaker. Guido applies the Sicilian crab on Psychosis, but Tajiri comes out of no where and kicks Guido. Psychosis to the top, and hits his Legdrop for the win at 4 minutes and 53 seconds.
Winner: Psychosis, screwjob, via Tajiri interfering
Coming up tonight, something with Justin Credible, something with Kid Kash, the Blue Guy or whatever, and the tag match. Rhino is in the back going crazy! He's the cause of Sandman's nightmares. He says his father punched him in the face, and says something about Rob Van Dam. Challeges Sandman and RVD to "come and get it! Come and Get it! Come and get it!" God, someone get that boy some medication. I hate angles involving stuff like when parents treated their kids like dirt. Bad angles come out of that.
Commercial: 3 minutes and 20 seconds
EZ Money and Kid Kash from Hardcore TV last week. Frankensteiner from a top rope powerbomb is shown. Very nice. Go to DaveScherer.com to see clips of Hardcore TV. Dawn Marie joins the announcers. Gertner is so horny!! Who isn't right now? He comments about her teeth, and says those are the whitest teeth he's come across!(LOL) Gertner is on a roll tonight! RVD highlights are shown, and we'll hear something from him tonight. Blue Boy or whatever will be here, tag team deathmatch too. Hardcore TV highlights are shown with Carl Oulette(sp?) powerslamming Francine through a table, off the top rope. Credible then won that match with the "That's Incredible". Gertner is making weird noises like he's "in" Dawn Marie.
Extreme Warfare Volume 2 promo, as ECW will NEVER give up selling this tape. Just remember, free bowl of soup with this purchase! 1-800-523-5684 for a free bowl of soup!
ECW Hotline promo. Same as the last one.
Commercial: 1 minute and 23 seconds
RVD in the back, with Fonzy. They brag about the "Van Terminator", and the PPV match against Anton. RVD says he's about to move on. RVD has big plans to give fans what they want. I miss him as a heel though. Great RVD then.
Back with Dawn, Gertner, and Styles. Gertner is still horny...so is everyone else! Lou E. comes out with the "Blue Boy" and Jasmine "325 in one day" St. Claire. Blue Boy looks so damn good right now, considering he lost 125. Lou E introduces Jasmine "loosely". He then intorduces the hottest sex symbol in the wrestling world today...the Blue Boy! Fans are killing Jasmine, calling her a Crack Whore! Jazz comes down and attacks everyone. X-factor on Blue Boy! Jasmine hits Jazz. Bulldog by Jazz on Jasmine!! Jasmine powerbombs her, and Jasmine's puppies bust out(TNN censored it).
Scotty Anton and Steve Corino come out, with Jack Victory as usual. Anton looks so stupid clapping there. Don't worry, his buddy Buff will join him in a year or so. ChatterboxNews.com highlights of how this match was made. Tommy Dreamer comes out. Highlights of Jerry Lynn at Heatwave, wiping Corino's blood all over him. Jerry Lynn comes out. The ECW team runs in the ring, but the Network runs out...so Dreamer and Lynn follow them, and attack!
Steve Corino and Scotty Anton vs. Tommy Dreamer and Jerry Lynn
Brawling outside, with dreamer and Corino now in the ring. Reversals with Corino and Dreamer in the ring, which leads to a Hangmen's neckbreaker by Dreamer. God, I love those. Anton comes into the ring, and hits Dreamer before he can put the Clapper on Corino. Anton puts Dreamer in the Clapper, but Lynn gets him off. Anton and Lynn in the ring. Reversals and counters. Nice dropkick by Lynn off the top. Lynn on the top again, and dives on the network! ECW! ECW! ECW! More brawling outside, with Anton going over the railing by Dreamer. Corino goes over too by Lynn. Dreamer and Anton up the stairs, as is Lynn and Corino. Dreamer thrown off the steps, and Lynn busts open Corino. Lynn tries to open up Corino some more. Yikes. Corino with some good right hands, as Anton and Dreamer head back to the ring. Anton to the railing. Dreamer to the locker room. Corino on the table by Lynn. Dreamer has a ladder! Lynn hits Corino with a chair. Ladder in the ring by Dreamer, as he sets it up in the corner. Lynn opens up that cut a little more on Corino. Suplex on Anton by Dreamer. Corino into the railing by Lynn. Anton thrown into the corner, which has a ladder, by Dreamer. Wow, Anton took a bump! Dreamer sets up the ladder vertically. Reversal, and Dreamer takes a ladder butt to the face! Lynn and Corino in the ring. Coroino thrown into a corner where the ladder is. Ladder dropped on Corino. Ladder set up on chairs. Reversal, and Lynn takes it like a man! Dreamer set for the ride, back body drop. Lynn slammed hard by the Network. ECW comes back, and throws the network into each other. Ref is down! Dreamer grabs the ladder, hits Anto, and sets ladder under Corino who is on the top rope. He tries to stand on it, but Anton kicks the ladder, making Dreamer fall through the steps. OUCH! That had to hurt. Network tries to send the ECW wrestlers for the ride, and they both reverse the moves tried, and they DDT their opponents. Dreamer then turns his into a Cradle Piledriver on Anton. Almost a count, but good old Jack Victory pulled out the ref and attacked him. Billy Corgan comes out of no where and attacks Victory! How about that Mtv, do ya like it? Lynn hits his Cradle Pile driver on Corino, and Dreamer hits his DDT on Anton, 1, 2, 3 at 10 minutes and 2 seconds to end the match, and eventually the show.
Winners: Dreamer and Lynn, clean win
@That's it for today. I'll be back tomorrow, I hope, with the Show of the Week, and other goodies. No Pay Per Views...oh crap! Well, we'll see you tomorrow with a very improvised column. Oh yeah, Bad Tito returns tomorrow as well, with a wonderful follow up to last week's controversial column.
Phat Pharm: CLick HERE for NEW and GREAT Columns!!! However, no Nude Trish Stratus or Stephanie McMahon in Playboy, sorry.
Take Care, and Remember Gordon Solie.