Welcome to the Smackdown edition of the Phat Daily Column. Well, you know who is back, and many are probably reading because they know my reaction to you know who COULD get nasty. It's funny. Instead of finding somebody unique, Vince McMahon goes back and pushes his own daughter to be on television again. Does that make any sense to you? Not me.
You see this everywhere in life. If you work for a family business, you'll put up with family members getting much better treatment than you, although you both work the same hours, doing the same job for a paycheck. Then, if you go to another workplace, the managers will hire their own kids and the same situation applies.
The truth is this: Vince would NOT have Stephanie McMahon around, creatively or as an on television personality, if she wasn't his daughter. If you listened to her "promo" tonight, she can't talk. She is never good, as she screeches way too much. As a writer, she goes for way too much comedy instead of the "attitude" edge that the product used to have. She's in love and SCREWING one of the main event wrestlers, thereby creating a ridiculous bias that continually hurts the WWE to this day.
But now, the WWE is using her 2 ways, and that's not good. Just keeping her backstage, writing the shows, was fine because you didn't have to see her BUTTER FACE (everything looks good "but her" face) on camera every week. Now that she's back on camera, she'll focus her creative "talents" on herself, again, and we are back to a very annoying WWE to watch.
And this comes on the heels where I'm still buzzing over Eric Bischoff, of all people, showing up on RAW Monday. Looks like Bischoff better get ready to look bad in the name of Stephanie.
On to the PDC. Oh yeah, I hate Stephanie McMahon.
Eric Bischoff is my father. As much as I hated some of his antics in WCW, I like him as a personality, thus far, in the WWE. He appears to be receiving some good crowd heat, whether or not that's Smackdown's producers editing that in.
Big confrontation between Bischoff and Hulk Hogan. I guess Hogan is a little disgruntled over having Eric Bischoff surgically removed from his ass in 1999, eh?
Next match was Chavo Guerrero vs. Hurricane. Chavo was WORKING ON THE KNEE! WORKING ON THE KNEE!! WORKING ON THE KNEE!! You don't see that anymore in the WWE, or at least it done properly. Chavo pretty much dismantled the Hurricane, which makes sense when Chavo challenged Rey Mysterio for a match next week. That should be some good stuff, folks. Let's hope that Rey-Rey's new bulky frame doesn't slow him down.
Just watching Eric and Vince talking together is so eerie...
WHATABORING interview with the Undertaker. Undertaker, after years of being in the WWE, still can't do a captivating interview. Hell, he can't wrestle a good match, either, unless somebody talented pushes him to it.
Next match was Chuck and Billy versus Hardcore Holly and Val Venis. Perfectly acceptable midcard wrestling here (Smackdown results guy Dr. Tom agrees), as we saw some good tag team interaction between the teams. We just need to push some storylines about having Holly and Venis as a team, and we may be in business.
Next, we has some more tag action, but six-man style, between Hulk Hogan, Edge, and Rikishi and Test, Lance Storm, and Christian or Team Canada Volume 3. (1 was Bret Hart in 1997, 2 was Storm's stable in WCW 2000, and 3 is what we see now.) Getting away from that piece of shit Rikishi, at least the WWE is pushing Lance Storm and Christian as a tag team, as they just might take those tag titles at Vengeance. I really like watching Hogan now that he's a tag wrestler. Edge and Hogan are likely to lose the belts because Edge will resume his feud with Jericho and Hogan is set to feud with Vince McMahon for Summerslam. Decent tag match that had Edge, Hogan, and Rikishi winning, probably meaning that Christian and Storm will be the next tag champions.
Awesome confrontation between Bischoff and the Rock!
And now, the time has come to rip on Stephanie McMahon for the bitch that she is... Vince McMahon would come out, with a hard-on that Viagra couldn't give for his children, and proudly announce that Cancer, or Stephanie, is the new Smackdown GM. With a very chirpy version of her squeaky voice, she tried to cut a face promo on how she'll try to deliver talent to Smackdown fans. As if the fans who watch Smackdown only watch Smackdown. Steph, by the way, looks much slimmer than her last appearance. Is it the straight hair? The high heels? The non-big head from not being an on-television role for a few months?
Now we have Bischoff and Stephanie on opposite shows. Bischoff is certainly a great choice, but what about Stephanie? If this angle tanks, it's COMPLETELY her fault. Why? She was involved with the WCW Invasion, and that tanked. That was a great idea, as you had lots of new talent to push against the WWF machine. Now you have one of the best personalities around, Eric Bischoff, the former freakin' owner of WCW who actually beat Vince McMahon in 1996, 1997, and part of 1998. Stephanie always seems to be around the best opportunities for storylines, and her presence always fucks things up.
So how about this? If this storyline tanks, I want someone in the WWE with balls, say Vince McMahon, to hold her accountable for a change. I'm tired of her screwing up EVERYTHING in the WWE, whether it's the crap she writes for wrestlers to do on television, whether it's the many hours of television time she hogs, or whether it's anything backstage with the influence of her boyfriend, Triple H. She's Cancer, Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Gonorrhea, or any other horrible health condition to the WWE, yet Vince McMahon can't see her hurting business.
He can't. It's that same complex I talked about above. He can surely (don't call me Shirley) see faults in other talent or personalities, but NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING wrong with his daughter. It's bullshit, and I guarantee you that if she wasn't a McMahon, she wouldn't be there, period. But instead, all WWE fans must suffer, once again, by her presence on camera. God, somebody rid the WWE of that bitch.
Backstage, Stephanie threatens Eric Bischoff to leave the arena. Stephanie isn't even worthy to shine Eric's shoes, let alone already ordering him around.
Next match was Billy Kidman vs. Tajiri. OK but too short to mean anything for the Cruiserweight division. At least with the entrance of Rey Mysterio, the WWE will have to give some attention to the Cruiserweight division. Afterward, evil Jaime Noble came down and with the help of Tajiri, pounded on Kidman. I think that Nidia and Noble are doing well in their roles, but they just aren't seeing that much attention from fans because the midcard has been so poorly pushed for years now. I bet you that if Nidia dyed her hair dirty blond and let it grow out a little bit, she'd REALLY fit the role of trailer park gal.
The explanation of WHY Chris Jericho isn't wrestling Edge at Vengeance is because Jericho was nice enough to let Edge team up with Hogan at that show. Oh, good explanation. Well, it's not that bad, as I'm assuming that Jericho will cost Hogan and namely Edge the titles, thus setting up, even more, the Edge vs. Jericho match on next week's Smackdown. It makes sense to some degree. You gotta love how Stephanie just treats Jericho like dirt on camera. Any bets to when the really stupid storylines start, such as fetching hand lotion?
Our main event was Kurt Angle vs. the Rock. Good overall, but I wouldn't say it was something of Pay Per View quality, although I didn't like any of the Angle vs. Rock matches on PPV, personally. And guess what? DQ FINISH! Ah son of a bitch! How many of these are we treated to tonight? How hard is it to actually let someone win? Well, Undertaker was strong on last week's Smackdown, Angle was strong on this week's show, so who will win the Vengeance main event? Rocky! Rocky! Rocky!
But wait... there's more! Stephanie, already taking up plenty of television time, chases down Triple H in the parking lot. Oh no, the swerve to put them back together on television is already taking place! AHHHHHH!!! Triple H questions if she's gained weight, to which I say: her head is getting bigger already? Triple H hops in a limo that happens to have Eric Bischoff in it, thus telling us that Triple H and Stephanie are reuniting once again. If this is to happen, at LEAST push Triple H as a heel for a change. He totally sucks as a face. He also sucks face when it comes to Stephanie, which is ruining the WWE!!!
LAST WORD: Hey, I didn't curse THAT MUCH with the return of Stephanie. It could have been much worse, as I tried to make a point in my rant up there. The point is that she's back on television, and given the problems I listed, the WWE is in a whole lot of trouble that will take the "shock" away from the sudden appearance of Eric Bischoff. Just watch, as the talent raiding process becomes immediately ridiculous for us all to watch. Geesh.
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